Arranged marriages in Mexico? (living, money, place, Hispanic)
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I read an article today that said arranged marriages still happen in parts of Mexico, Oaxaca being one of them. Is this so? I've never heard of this in all of Mexico. How prevalent is it? Is it legal?
it is not legal, they are the uses and customs of indigenous peoples where even the girl is sold to the future owner-husband, that part of the culture that many dream of returning ..
They don't all involve a "sale". I know there are semi-arranged marriages, at least in some upper class families, a daughter is supposed to marry someone in the family's social group. They aren't arranged like in some countries, but children can be pressured to marry someone the parents carefully selected. I think that article refers to something quite different, where a very young girl was sold for a lot of beer and other things, or more likely was pimped out by a deviant father.
They don't all involve a "sale". I know there are semi-arranged marriages, at least in some upper class families, a daughter is supposed to marry someone in the family's social group. They aren't arranged like in some countries, but children can be pressured to marry someone the parents carefully selected. I think that article refers to something quite different, where a very young girl was sold for a lot of beer and other things, or more likely was pimped out by a deviant father.
Malamute, I have respect for most of your posts. However, I do see that you have your own stereotypes of us as well. While I agree that in the upper class families, the parents are very selective of the son-in-law and would refuse to give their daughter out if he is not at their social level, I dont agree with your opinion of an article you have not read yet.
In our society, we have laws that protect children (this also includes young ladies) that are "sold" or forced into prostitution. So, this is not something that is seen as the norm, the article would have clearly stated that it was a crime and not an arranged marriage.
it is not legal, they are the uses and customs of indigenous peoples where even the girl is sold to the future owner-husband, that part of the culture that many dream of returning ..
One thing that bothers me is when we Mestizos see our indigenous cultures as "uncivilized". I dont know of any Mexican tribe that exchanges goods for their daughters. I have no doubt that there is that agreement between the future husband and the father, but not for money or trade. Please provide a current document that shows other wise.
Arranged marriages have existed in many societies around the world. In Mexico, it has also existed among Mestizos, in the past. If you remember "Like Water for Chocolate", there was an arranged marriage between the boyfriend of the main character and the sister. Those times have been long gone.
I agree with Malamute on this one. Sometimes we don´t want to see the truth, but when living in Chihuahua, I read in the newspaper about tarahumara girls being sold by their parents for menial ammounts of money. Also, I remember some televisa investigation (I cannot recall if it was on the Mexican version of 60 minutes) about very young girls from the poorest "ejidos" in San Luis PotosÃ, Chiapas and even in Nuevo León being traded for goods or money. Those girls ended up working as servants or prostitutes.
Yes... there are laws against this in Mexico. Problem is indigenous people tend to make their own laws for centuries, and almost no one mess with them.
Malamute, I have respect for most of your posts. However, I do see that you have your own stereotypes of us as well. While I agree that in the upper class families, the parents are very selective of the son-in-law and would refuse to give their daughter out if he is not at their social level, I dont agree with your opinion of an article you have not read yet.
In our society, we have laws that protect children (this also includes young ladies) that are "sold" or forced into prostitution. So, this is not something that is seen as the norm, the article would have clearly stated that it was a crime and not an arranged marriage.
Did you read the article in question? Unless I read the wrong one, there was a case here in the USA, (not Mexico so you might be thinking of a different one) where a Mexican man sold a 14 year old daughter for a bunch of beer and other items, the aspect of culture is discussed in the article.
I know of people in my workplace, from Mexico but they were not from poor families who are in semi-arranged marriages. One woman fell in love with a Hispanic-American of Mexican background, her parents did not feel he was appropriate, she was sent to live with relatives where her family is from, so she could get better acquainted with the one she was expected to marry, they married, she came back with him to this side of the border, the marriage seems fine.
I knew a family in Puebla where the man didn't want to marry the woman his family intended -- I'm not sure why as she was attractive, the daughter of friends of the parents but I believe they finally talked some sense into him and he decided to go their way. These aren't the poor or lower middle class types, but the higher up society types.
I'm not saying they are "arranged" in the sense there are arranged marriages in other countries and there is no money being exchanged. It's about parents wanting "suitable" marriage partners, and their children not exactly free to do their own choosing.
"We're aware of the cultural issues here, but state law trumps cultural sensitivity."
-- Since the father himself called the police when he wasn't given the beer, meat, and money, I think it's somewhat assumed the father felt this was a perfectly acceptable deal.
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