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Old 04-30-2011, 04:28 PM
 
Location: West Kendall
4,741 posts, read 4,806,023 times
Reputation: 1096

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HUmnn, no group I'd like to join, perhaps i can create one... but dunno yet. What kind of theme should I pick?
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Old 05-01-2011, 04:56 AM
 
19,979 posts, read 16,105,374 times
Reputation: 14040
Quote:
Originally Posted by ecofancy View Post
Surely you have some hobbies or interests...

Entering socializing brings up 18 pages of various meetup groups,surely theres something of interest.
.Socializing Meetups near Miami, Florida - Socializing Meetups - Miami
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Old 05-01-2011, 04:58 AM
 
Location: Chilly, Dry San Diego
1,795 posts, read 2,071,889 times
Reputation: 732
Here's the deal, Blue. We know nothing about you. You have no info in your profile so I don't even know what type of music you like or what your tastes and interests are. You don't need to put down anything that identifies you, but a little info would be helpful for figuring out where you might fit in.

I would highly recommend you stay away from anywhere where there's a high degree of drunkenness at least until you have someone relatively trustworthy to accompany you. I'm sure there'll be no objection there. You're going to need to scope out the coffee houses and maybe libraries to see which one seems to have a decent vibe. Big thing though ---- PICK A VENUE AND STICK WITH IT. Find a place and "become a local". Be seen more than just a few times and you'll break through the "force field".

Here's the thing. Miami is, as you've already figured out, a very transient place. People already have their social circles, and they don't see the point of getting to know someone new --IF THEY DON'T THINK THEY'LL SEE THEM AGAIN. That's why where ever you go, you'll have to maintain a steady presence there, and get to know at least one person, but certainly try for more. It doesn't have to be "THE RIGHT ONE" or "THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE". Just someone that you can get to know until you are fairly sure they can be trusted, and then you can begin to establish a network. You've also got to prove to THEM that you are trustworthy.

If you are starting to get the sense that this is going to take some considerable time investment YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. This is not something that you are likely to magically accomplish over the two weeks of your spring break. This is something you should have been doing all along up to this point, but it's NEVER TOO LATE TO START.

Another big thing: When you do meet with these people, AVOID DISCUSSING YOUR HARDSHIPS WITH THEM, or at least use considerable discretion! Have you ever heard the saying "Smite the shepherd and the sheep will scatter?" Well, your role isn't exactly that of the shepherd, but people tend to run from those who appear afflicted with hardship. I know that seems shallow, but it's an ancient programming circuit hardwired into our DNA. It's a survival tool. People instinctually avoid those who appear to be surrounded by a cloud of misfortune for fear of inviting chaos into their lives.

Unless you know for a fact that they are in a position to be of immediate help to you IN A MATERIAL CONCRETE KIND OF WAY, DO NOT DISCUSS THESE ISSUES UNTIL YOU'VE KNOWN THESE PEOPLE A CONSIDERABLE AMOUNT OF TIME!

Do not mistake these people as emotional sponges to sop up your sadness or you're going to be sitting on a curb, wondering what the hell just happened.

I'm not saying this to be harsh. This is verifiable proven experience that I've had firsthand in trying to fit in to the SoCal social scene. I learned it back in October of 1988 a year after I had moved to San Diego. A girl that I was absolutely in love with broke up with me and nearly the VERY next week, I was robbed at knifepoint by a group of skinheads in Mission Beach. The combination of these two things really did a number on my head! They only got $40 but the manner in which it happened was so traumatic to me that It was all I could do to get my mind around it, because I'd lost whatever sense of security I'd had and felt invaded. "They robbed me of my sense of security" was what I told some of my friends and coworkers, but I noticed that everyone I told this to in detail seemed to distance themselves from me and sometimes their reactions were subtler. I could tell that it clearly made them uncomfortable when I told them about this stuff, so I stopped mentioning it at all and tried to work it out myself and suddenly my friends weren't so distant, and things were going much better. That manoeuvre was therapeutic and key to recovering from my induced paranoia after that incident.


Now the chances of something like that happening to you are quite minimal, and especially if you use your street-smarts. Don't be stupid enough to ignore the signs like I did(I was only 18). Learn to trust your gut feeling. When something like this DOES happen, it can feel as if God, and the whole universe has turned against you and purposely failed to protect you from scant negative probabilities. It takes a while for you to get your sense of perspective back to the point where you can realize sensibly that there ISN'T a robber in every parking lot waiting to get you.

NOW IT'S OK TO RECOUNT A PAST INCIDENT AS LONG AS YOU INDICATE THAT YOU'VE SINCE WORKED OUT THAT ISSUE AND ARE NO LONGER AFFLICTED BY IT.

SINCE I'VE AMASSED CONSIDERABLE STREET SMARTS FROM THIS EVENT AND SINCE I AM NO LONGER CRIPPLED BY FEAR, I SHALL TAKE THIS AS LICENSE AND INDULGE MYSELF BY GIVING YOU THE REST OF THE ACCOUNT.

The skinheads were skinheads in name only, but certainly not in hairdo's because one of them actually had a long blond mohawk like haircut. The "knife they were using was actually some sort of homemade axe thing with a knife on the end. I was in my car in the parking lot. >funny thing, San Diego was a TOTAL culture shock for me because the people that looked like the punkers I used to hang out with in Colorado were not, and so I mistook these skinheads as punkers. They were there with a couple of cute girls and that was mainly what I was focused on. It was disarming. I was young and stupid and continued to blast my stereo in the parking lot until they came up to my car and asked me If I knew where they could get some weed. I said no, and then they asked me if I wanted to buy some. (???) I said no. They asked me if I knew of any parties that were going on. Again, no. Then the girls said "It's nice to meet you, and they went back to hang out by their car.

Then one of the guys said something to the other dude and they both looked back at me. The only words I could make out from across the parking lot were "this guy". I should have started my car up right there and then and left the parking lot, but I thought I might still have a chance with the girls. Then they walked up to my car like they were going to ask me something and instead this one guy with long hair pulls out this homemade weapon and sticks it at my neck and says "How much money have you got on you? Give it up!" I actually thought they were joking, and I even grabbed the handle of the thing until the guy sharply yanked it out of my hand, punched me in the chin with the handle and stuck the blade at my neck again. At that point I panicked, grabbed the handle again to push it away and went to start the car with my other hand and then the longhair's friend actually shoved him aside to dive into my car window so he could rip the keys from my ignition, and then he threw them across the parking lot. I gave them all I had which was $40 and then they walked around my car and jabbed this makeshift thing they had into all four of my tires to flatten them and got into their car and to my shock, took off WITHOUT the girls. I tried to find my keys in the parking lot after they left, and the girls even helped with their keychain flashlights.

Turns out that the girls didn't even know them! They'd just met them that night. They seemed very shocked by the event and offered me a ride to my home in La Jolla. They dropped me off and went wherever they were headed. I didn't get their phone numbers or anything like that. That was the LAST thing on my mind. I had to go into my house and tell my dad that I had been robbed in the south parking lot of Mission Beach so that I could get that "what the hell were you doing there!?" speech. He went ballistic, but not at me. We drove back down there with a spare key to the Chevette and a loaded Savage Handgun. We arrived in the parking lot and the Skins were long gone, so he put the headlights on the parking lot and I checked my tires expecting them to be flat. They weren't. The tires were nicked up, but not enough to flatten them. I think these guys just wanted to intimidate me out of following them and it actually worked! I finally found the keychain in the parking lot and the key was ripped in half. The other half was jammed into my ignition and HAD been there all along. I just didn't know it. We were shaking our heads, wondering how to extract the damn thing since I knew I wouldn't be able to get my spare key into the ignition with that thing still in there, when I decided to try turning the ignition switch ANYWAY and the FREAKIN' THING ACTUALLY STARTED!!! I still can't believe it!! I could have run those guys over if I'd only known!!

Last edited by Reptoid Humidian; 05-01-2011 at 05:06 AM..
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