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Old 12-14-2007, 04:39 PM
 
37 posts, read 74,752 times
Reputation: 19
Default Miami - Need to vent/talk

I'll keep this short as "negative" threads aren't popular in here.
I am very miserable in Miami. This place is taking its toll on my wife and I and I am at my wit's end. I am tired of being told that *I* am the one with the problem, when I have been happy in other parts of the world.

I won't say any more in here, but I would like to hear from people who are equally SICK and DISGUSTED with this place (and the natives) as I am. Thank you.

Last edited by Keeper; 12-22-2007 at 04:37 PM.. Reason: negative threads won't be deleted unless they violate the ToS

 
Old 12-14-2007, 05:38 PM
 
Location: hialeah, florida
385 posts, read 1,325,426 times
Reputation: 100
hearing other people whine will not help your situation. everyone in the world has challenges they must deal with - wherever they live and everywhere in the world they exist. learning to live with them and how to appropriately handle them is what separates the successful from the unsuccessful in my opinion.

make a list of things that especially annoy you and study them. why do they annoy you so much? no place on earth is perfect.
 
Old 12-14-2007, 05:43 PM
 
8,377 posts, read 19,906,445 times
Reputation: 2222
Quote:
Originally Posted by blackklight View Post
hearing other people whine will not help your situation. everyone in the world has challenges they must deal with - wherever they live and everywhere in the world they exist. learning to live with them and how to appropriately handle them is what separates the successful from the unsuccessful in my opinion.
This is exactly what I was going to say...hes right, submerging yourself in more misery isn't going to get you anywhere. You might get a temporary mental high from finding like minded people, but ultimately it's sinking yourself deeper. My suggestion, if this place is really making you miserable, would either be to

A. Leave by the end of the year or

B. Get involved in your community. Volunteer for improvement projects. Start a neighborhood watch. Be respectful to your other peers. There are plenty of people out there who see what is wrong with Miami and want to improve it. Don't let yourself fall into such a pit of misery, instead, try to spark a change where ever you see an opportunity to do so. If you really feel you can't, try option A.

I really wish you the best of luck.
 
Old 12-14-2007, 06:00 PM
 
37 posts, read 74,752 times
Reputation: 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by blackklight View Post
hearing other people whine will not help your situation. everyone in the world has challenges they must deal with - wherever they live and everywhere in the world they exist. learning to live with them and how to appropriately handle them is what separates the successful from the unsuccessful in my opinion.

make a list of things that especially annoy you and study them. why do they annoy you so much? no place on earth is perfect.
Hey Blackklight,

I hear ya, but also hear me out too as I am not trying to come across as yet another "whiner".

Firstly, you are absolutely right when you say that no place is perfect. However, I have never expected "perfection" anywhere (the idea of perfection actually scares me!).

On to Miami and the citizens of Miami: I have made a very extensive list of what annoys me here. I'm not going to mention it here, because I know that it's all been said before, so there's really no point. Let's just say that today though, my boss basically threw me under the bus and told a co-worker that *I* had complained about her (and others in my office who are nothing but lazy, disruptive, noisy and have zero work ethic). Bad workplaces are everywhere, but everywhere I have worked at here in Miami has been horrible. People here seem to love to stab you in the back and they love to make you feel unwelcome if you're not part of the clique here.

The messed up part is that if my company decide to fire me because I'm not a part of the popularity contest and a few people in the office love to gossip about me, I am basically screwed because Florida employment law dictates that if my company feel like firing me, they can.

Add to that, the (literally) dozens of instances of people getting killed on our roads, the ever rising cost of living.

I have watched this place basically destroy my wife on a daily basis. She has lived here all of her life, but has never made a good friend. She's been used, stabbed in the back and taken advantage of so many times that it's not even funny and the even LESS funny part is that it's taken me 4 years of living here to finally agree with her that this is a very bad place to live, unless you're either rich, or part of a (fake) social circle.

People love to point fingers at the individual, saying that they are the problem, not Miami. Will you believe me if I tell you that before I came here, I was a genuinely happy person who would do anything for anyone?

I didn't move here under any false pretenses though, believing that Miami was paradise. I moved here to be with my wife, because it was the only way we could be together at the time. She would always tell me how much she hated Miami, but I never truly believed her until I actually moved here and experienced the BS that goes on here on a daily basis.

Anyway, feel free to criticize me, or accuse me of just being a miserable/negative person. I can only say that I'm neither of those things (at least prior to moving here).

Trust me, I WANT to leave, but I cannot afford to right now.
 
Old 12-14-2007, 06:02 PM
 
37 posts, read 74,752 times
Reputation: 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by compelled to reply View Post
This is exactly what I was going to say...hes right, submerging yourself in more misery isn't going to get you anywhere. You might get a temporary mental high from finding like minded people, but ultimately it's sinking yourself deeper. My suggestion, if this place is really making you miserable, would either be to

A. Leave by the end of the year or

B. Get involved in your community. Volunteer for improvement projects. Start a neighborhood watch. Be respectful to your other peers. There are plenty of people out there who see what is wrong with Miami and want to improve it. Don't let yourself fall into such a pit of misery, instead, try to spark a change where ever you see an opportunity to do so. If you really feel you can't, try option A.

I really wish you the best of luck.
We're planning on taking option A (leaving), but money is the only issue preventing us from making the move. We have already decided on the Northeast (cold winters and all), so there's really no question there. I am even going to look for a 2nd job to earn some extra income to speed up the "saving" process, even though it'll mean spending less time with my wife. It's not like we really need the "leisure time" here anyway as there's nothing here that interests us.
 
Old 12-14-2007, 06:03 PM
 
Location: hialeah, florida
385 posts, read 1,325,426 times
Reputation: 100
i have some advice for dealing with people you don't like. try telling them good morning. i don't know what it is about telling someone good morning that kind of sets them back and jump starts their day again.

keep your discussions strictly at work but don't come off as a stern ass either - just do what you have to do and don't let the bull **** phase you.
 
Old 12-14-2007, 06:09 PM
 
37 posts, read 74,752 times
Reputation: 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by blackklight View Post
i have some advice for dealing with people you don't like. try telling them good morning. i don't know what it is about telling someone good morning that kind of sets them back and jump starts their day again.

keep your discussions strictly at work but don't come off as a stern ass either - just do what you have to do and don't let the bull **** phase you.
Good advice. Bottom line is that I have to look for another job, fast. My boss has basically thrown me under the bus in telling my co-worker that I was the one who complained about her constant yapping, when he really had no reason to tell her (he should have just said "it's confidential"). I see too much BS here on a daily basis....slackers who get away with it, the constant high school popularity contest. Yes, it goes on in other places, but not as much as here. There is no sense of work ethic or professionalism here....just high school BS, backstabbing and slacking off.

Tonight, I am basically just going to get wasted (I have a dozen or so beers with my name on them), care to join?
 
Old 12-14-2007, 06:13 PM
 
Location: hialeah, florida
385 posts, read 1,325,426 times
Reputation: 100
if you do that all it's going to prove is that miami finally got to you
 
Old 12-14-2007, 06:14 PM
 
37 posts, read 74,752 times
Reputation: 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by blackklight View Post
if you do that all it's going to prove is that miami finally got to you
Miami got to me a long time ago. The plain and simple truth is that I (we (my wife and I)) need to get the hell out and never look back. Living here has been seriously toxic and the funny part is that I rarely touched alcohol before moving here and I rarely felt "down in the dumps".
 
Old 12-14-2007, 06:18 PM
 
Location: hialeah, florida
385 posts, read 1,325,426 times
Reputation: 100
your surroundings and how you perceive things is all in your head. try looking at miami with new eyes, go to bayside with your wife and take the boat tour. spend some time to clear your head and your thoughts. try watching the movie "the secret." it shows how thinking negative attracts negativity and thinking positively does just the opposite.

my aunt came here to visit and i was telling her how much i hate it here (just as you are) and she told me one thing.

Quote:
when i moved to new york in the 80s it was at its peak in crime, people where shooting each other dead in the streets. it was hard, but because i survived that i deserve a crown, i deserve a trophy. because look, despite the odds i survived it, and came out in one piece.
try of thinking of miami like that - it is a challenge, a difficult one. but when you succeed you will look back and say to yourself look at me, i am a warrior, i made it in a hell zone.
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