Miami/South Florida - A Dose Of Reality (Hialeah, Brandon: middle-class, fit in)

[BrandonHex]

Over the last few weeks, my wife and I have made a conscious decision to leave Miami (and South Florida) for good. I am tired of seeing her so unhappy here and from my own personal perspective, I am tired of living here myself.

I don’t know about any of you, but I have found working here to be particularly hard going. In all 3 of the jobs I’ve had here, I have encountered far too much in the way of poor work ethic, laziness and backstabbing. I’m not even motivated to try to look for another job here and I’ve decided to stick it out at the company I work for until we’re ready to leave for good.

I live in what I thought was a nice enough condo/apartment complex in Kendall/Pinecrest. God knows, we pay enough to rent this place, without having to put up with insanely noisy (and inconsiderate neighbors). I am tired of dealing with the traffic and the commute, and especially the stupid Miami drivers.

I’ve always wondered why there are barely any parks in Miami, and why people have a nasty habit of concreting over any form of greenery in their homes and tearing down trees. You’d think that with a tropical climate, Miami would be filled with lush parks and gardens, but the reality couldn’t be further from the truth. Are people afraid of gardening or something? Does every spot of land in this city HAVE to be developed, as opposed to being turned into a park?

I don’t want to go into too much depth, but I’ve had way too many negative experiences in Miami (and South Florida as a whole). You can accuse me of being negative and miserable and that’s fine, but I know the truth. Before I came here, I rarely felt “down” and anger and frustration were things I seldom experienced. I had a generally good outlook on life and a positive view on humanity as a whole, before I moved here.

What’s worse is that you try and express yourself and you get shouted down, accused of being a miserable person, or even banned from forums like this, just for speaking your mind. Heck, I even had one particular individual on here send me over a dozen extremely hateful messages (a certain individual who even admits to living in a “bubble”, just like everyone else here who loves to bury their head in the sand and pretend the problems don’t exist).

Heck, if I were a rich “stay-at-home-mom” or just a plain ol’ gold digger, whose only concern in life happened to be shipping off my little brats to private school, followed by maxing out my husband’s credit card @ Macy’s, I’m sure I’d manage to appreciate living in South Florida too, because a) I wouldn’t have to work here, b) I wouldn’t have to deal with rush hour traffic and c) I would be cut off and isolated from mainstream society.

The point I’m trying to make is that you should not shoot down someone’s opinion, even if you disagree with it and if you consider it to be negative. Your pretty little paradise may be 1,000,000 other people’s hell, so who are you to dismiss someone else’s opinion? It’s so easy to sit back and dismiss a negative point of view when you’re living in pampered luxury, in one of those gated communities, sheltered from REAL life in South Florida. The negative views in here are from people who actually live and work in the “real” South Florida, not the pretend, sunshine/shiny-happy, let’s all be peppy and silly “like oh my god” version.

The reality is that people down here are not nice, in general. You're either in, or you're out...and if you're out, you might as well pack your bags and leave. It's funny how the South Florida metro area is so huge, yet it feels like a small town in the sense that everyone in the clique here seem to know each other.

There's nothing to look at here, nor is there anything to do. South Florida is nothing more than an urban sprawl, littered with unoccupied condos, cookie cutter houses, tacky strip malls, endless gas stations and Publix supermarkets. There are trees here --- palm trees, and even they look fake, just like everything else here. There's no scenery, no greenery and there's no sense of culture or community.

I’m sure this will be deleted soon. I hope someone out there got to read this and managed to relate to it. I know I’m not alone in seeing South Florida for what it really is – FAKE. To the individual(s) concerned, feel free to give me negative rep points, or report me, just like the tattle-tale children that you are. Don't hate me too much though....I'm only being honest with you. I see things for what they really are down here (not through rose-tinted spectacles), so as a result, I tell it like it is. I don't live in a bubble....and I don't want to live in a bubble. I (we) plan to move some place where people are far more genuine, polite, kind and not so disgustingly vain and superficial.

The question is, are you really happy here, or are you also fed up with the plethora of avoidable traffic accidents and needless deaths on our roads, horrible customer service, poor work ethic, the rudeness, the traffic, the lack of parks and amenities, the rampant overdevelopment, the vacant condos and a high number of people who simply refuse to speak English? You don't care? Oh well...keep burying your heads in the sand and singing "la, la, la" and see what happens. Personally, I can't (and won't) do that...I care too much about the environment, the people and the city that I live in to just be a sheep like everyone else here and not care.

Hey...as long as it's not cold and as long as there's pretty sunshine, everything will be fine, la, la, la.

Not me though....I'm not going to put up with it anymore. There's more to life than SUNSHINE, as in quality of life. I am tired of watching good people get literally eaten alive by this city, including my wife (and she's lived/existed here all of her life).

Have fun in your precious little "bubbles", but remember, the only certainty with bubbles is that they all burst, eventually

[nicsma2002]

All very true and valid points, especially the part about Miami being like a small town - it is very much like a small town. IMO, Miami is a small town run amok with the strip malls, cookie cutter houses, and overdevelopment in general with no "big picture" planning.

But to answer your question, we are very happy here. We are plugged into our community with a great network of friends and family here. We are active, contributing members of our local community. We chose to live in an area with no cookie cutter houses because we don't like them. We see the poor work ethic syndrome when we deal with people in the service fields - waiters, nursing home staff, store clerks - but in our personal professions, we deal with people with high work ethics on a day-to-day basis. We enjoy the parks that are here - in particular, Oleta State Park and Everglades National Park, in addition to our more local ones. We were just at one today and had a great time. I meet nice, helpful people every day. People open doors for me, let me into traffic, etc. I do the same for others. Sure, there are rude people, but I don't seem to run into them that often, or I just ignore them if I do. I don't own a vacant condo, so that doesn't affect me. I don't befriend the shallow, vain people I've heard about on this forum, since I have nothing in common with them. Our friends here have substance and depth and I feel lucky to know them. The no English thing irks me sometimes, but I usually manage to find common ground with people at some level. Also, I see it as an opportunity to practice my Spanish/French/other languages... I love learning foreign languages.

I always say Miami is not for everyone. This place is very unique in good and not-so-good ways. It might be for me; it is obviously not the right fit for you so I say go find where you belong! If you can't find happiness here - and that can be difficult - then I hope you have great success in finding it elsewhere. I wish you the best of luck!

[BrandonHex]

Originally Posted by nicsma2002

All very true and valid points, especially the part about Miami being like a small town - it is very much like a small town. IMO, Miami is a small town run amok with the strip malls, cookie cutter houses, and overdevelopment in general with no "big picture" planning.

But to answer your question, we are very happy here. We are plugged into our community with a great network of friends and family here. We are active, contributing members of our local community. We chose to live in an area with no cookie cutter houses because we don't like them. We see the poor work ethic syndrome when we deal with people in the service fields - waiters, nursing home staff, store clerks - but in our personal professions, we deal with people with high work ethics on a day-to-day basis. We enjoy the parks that are here - in particular, Oleta State Park and Everglades National Park, in addition to our more local ones. We were just at one today and had a great time. I meet nice, helpful people every day. People open doors for me, let me into traffic, etc. I do the same for others. Sure, there are rude people, but I don't seem to run into them that often, or I just ignore them if I do. I don't own a vacant condo, so that doesn't affect me. I don't befriend the shallow, vain people I've heard about on this forum, since I have nothing in common with them. Our friends here have substance and depth and I feel lucky to know them. The no English thing irks me sometimes, but I usually manage to find common ground with people at some level. Also, I see it as an opportunity to practice my Spanish/French/other languages... I love learning foreign languages.

I always say Miami is not for everyone. This place is very unique in good and not-so-good ways. It might be for me; it is obviously not the right fit for you so I say go find where you belong! If you can't find happiness here - and that can be difficult - then I hope you have great success in finding it elsewhere. I wish you the best of luck!

Nicsma....I'm glad you've found your niche here and I'm not knocking you for it (kinda wish I could find the same thing here!). Unfortunately, I have not been so lucky....the majority of the experiences I've had here (with people) have been bad.

p.s. I have tried to learn Spanish to fit in, but I've found that people have just made fun of me for trying to make the effort, so I gave up. I speak French and when I go to France, people generally appreciate the effort when you speak French, and that makes you want to learn their language and immerse yourself in their culture. It's not like that here....it's an "us" and "them" kind of mentality -- one big clique of a city and yes, I am planning on leaving as soon as I have the $$$.

[nicsma2002]

Originally Posted by BrandonHex

Nicsma....I'm glad you've found your niche here and I'm not knocking you for it (kinda wish I could find the same thing here!). Unfortunately, I have not been so lucky....the majority of the experiences I've had here (with people) have been bad.

p.s. I have tried to learn Spanish to fit in, but I've found that people have just made fun of me for trying to make the effort, so I gave up. I speak French and when I go to France, people generally appreciate the effort when you speak French, and that makes you want to learn their language and immerse yourself in their culture. It's not like that here....it's an "us" and "them" kind of mentality -- one big clique of a city and yes, I am planning on leaving as soon as I have the $$$.

Yes, Miami is very "clique-ish," I have found this to be true. And people have made fun of my Spanish, French, etc., and I just laugh with them. But most people I know are too polite and genteel to laugh, they just humor me. I guess it helps that I have an offbeat sense of humor, too. But like I said, Miami is not for everyone. I'm sorry you never found your niche/clique, but really, it's not you; it's Miami! lol! Your experience is not that unusual. I hope you find the right place for you!

[BrandonHex]

Originally Posted by nicsma2002

Yes, Miami is very "clique-ish," I have found this to be true. And people have made fun of my Spanish, French, etc., and I just laugh with them. But most people I know are too polite and genteel to laugh, they just humor me. I guess it helps that I have an offbeat sense of humor, too. But like I said, Miami is not for everyone. I'm sorry you never found your niche/clique, but really, it's not you; it's Miami! lol! Your experience is not that unusual. I hope you find the right place for you!

We're planning to move to the Northeast in 2009 (I wish it were sooner). We just need to save up enough $$$ for the move. Relocation is fine in theory, as is just saying "If you don't like it, leave", but it's a lot harder, in reality. It's going to take blood, sweat and tears to save up enough to get the hell out of here, so much so that I am contemplating getting a 2nd job to expedite the "saving up" process.

What else can you do when you're completely miserable and when you live in a place in which you have nothing in common with anyone, and the people you've encountered have generally just taken advantage?

[tallrick]

The thing to remember is that Miami has only been bad in recent decades. Florida was never a "paradise" but a difficult place to live full of insects and heat. The good thing is that it was abundant with life, clean water and yes, mild winters. Miami has always been an artificial city- filled in, built up and eventually air conditioned. Want to know what it looked like before humans changed the environment? Go to the Everglades. hardly anyone would want to live there, or could without draining it and filling it in. The older developed areas like Coconut Grove and Coral Gables were planted with many trees to add character and reduce the hot sun. In fact all new developments were filled with tropical trees and plants and became quite nice. In the 80's a different type of person began filling the area and destroying as many trees as possible, paving everything to park multiple cars in the homes. The "new Miami" is what led to today's mess. For the wealthy they can still find a nice older area to move into and enjoy it. People from worse places can move here and find this a paradise, as they settle for shacks or condos. Those of us from here or from a middle-class life will never find Miami as a suitable city. Remember, south Florida is like a warehouse for people. The more they cram in the more money they make. So expect trees and green space to be filled with pidgeon holes to stuff more new residents in. Remember, as long as they are from somewhere worse, this is paradise to them! Don't burst their bubble, let nature take its course.

[nicsma2002]

Originally Posted by BrandonHex

We're planning to move to the Northeast in 2009 (I wish it were sooner). We just need to save up enough $$$ for the move. Relocation is fine in theory, as is just saying "If you don't like it, leave", but it's a lot harder, in reality. It's going to take blood, sweat and tears to save up enough to get the hell out of here, so much so that I am contemplating getting a 2nd job to expedite the "saving up" process.

What else can you do when you're completely miserable and when you live in a place in which you have nothing in common with anyone, and the people you've encountered have generally just taken advantage?

Well, look on the bright side, 2009 is only about a year away; that's really not that long! Or at least, it could be worse. You're right, moving costs are so expensive, but I'm sure you'll get it saved up. And if you have a 2nd job, you'll have less free time to think about how miserable you are. How's that for positive thinking.

[BrandonHex]

Originally Posted by tallrick

The thing to remember is that Miami has only been bad in recent decades. Florida was never a "paradise" but a difficult place to live full of insects and heat. The good thing is that it was abundant with life, clean water and yes, mild winters. Miami has always been an artificial city- filled in, built up and eventually air conditioned. Want to know what it looked like before humans changed the environment? Go to the Everglades. hardly anyone would want to live there, or could without draining it and filling it in. The older developed areas like Coconut Grove and Coral Gables were planted with many trees to add character and reduce air conditioning bills. In fact all new developments were filled with tropical trees and plants and became quite nice. In the 80's a different type of person began filling the area and destroying as many trees as possible, paving everything to park multiple cars in the homes. The "new Miami" is what led to today's mess. For the welthy they can still find a nice older area to move into and enjoy it. People from worse places can move here and find this a paradise, as they settle for shacks or condos. Those of us from here or from a middle-class life will never find Miami as a suitable city. Remember, south Florida is like a warehouse for people. The more they cram in the more money they make. So expect trees and green space to be filled with pidgeon holes to stuff more new residents in. Remember, as long as they are from somewhere worse, this is paradise to them! Don't burst their bubble, let nature take its course.

Yet New York, despite its density manages to have Central Park. What is there here in Miami? Tropical Park...yuck.....looks just as artificial as the rest of the city.

I see your point though -- Miami can't have always been bad, even if it has always been a little on the artificial side. It's just been rampantly overbuilt, overdeveloped, without any thought given to infrastructure. I see it only getting worse too, unfortunately (but I'll be long gone by then).

I think that part of the problem is (with people from non-English speaking countries) is that they come to Miami and are not forced to assimilate into American culture in any way. Even my mother in law (she's Venezuelan) has lived in Miami for 30+ years and barely speaks a lick of English. So basically, you can move here and you never have to experience what the United States is really about, and that to me is wrong (and I don't blame the people, just the system in general).

BTW, I like the Everglades, but it's not really the kind of walkable place that I'd want....great for airboats, etc though. My wife and I are planning to move to the NE, where there's plenty of scenery, places you can walk/hike and do your own thing.

[tallrick]

New York is a very old city, developed before the automobile was invented. In Miami-Dade county we have several places that could be as nice, like historic Hialeah race track which adjoins metro-rail. But very few people appreciate the natural scenery of this area, so any park areas should be artificial like central park is. Just driving around Miami-Dade county you can see that few homes give any care to the yards other than parking their cars on the grass (or dirt). Whole communities are deviod of English speakers ( Little Havana, Hialeah, airport area) and remain unintegrated. Also remember that Miami is not a fitness oriented city so parks are unimportant. They spend plenty of time outside sitting in their cars in traffic on streets without any trees. The exception is old cutler road and Coral gables. There are also a few nice areas between Sunset and Kendall west of the turnpike and near the 826/874. Everything built since the 80's has been progressively worse.

[nicsma2002]

Originally Posted by BrandonHex

I think that part of the problem is (with people from non-English speaking countries) is that they come to Miami and are not forced to assimilate into American culture in any way. Even my mother in law (she's Venezuelan) has lived in Miami for 30+ years and barely speaks a lick of English. So basically, you can move here and you never have to experience what the United States is really about, and that to me is wrong (and I don't blame the people, just the system in general).

I kinda like the fact that I can live in/visit a "foreign country" (i.e., Miami) and still be on American soil... There are a gazillion other places in the U.S.A. where I can go to experience what the United States is really about, so I think Miami adds some variety to that. I actually moved to Alabama for a while, in part so I could experience what life was like in America, lol. Talk about a culture shock! I ended up loving it there, though. Also, in another respect, if you want to see what America is all about, come to Miami, aka Immigrant Central. Most of us are descendants of immigrants, and what I see on a daily basis I imagine must be what my/our ancestors experienced. In my line of work I deal with immigrants who are working to improve themselves through education and work, really pulling themselved up by their bootstraps.... to me, this is what America is really about. I feel privileged that I am able to help them in this process through my work. Yes, there are those who have been here for decades and not learned English, but there are many others who are really working to make it here. Many eventually do learn English and move on/up.