Moving out of Miami (Orlando, Miami Beach: homes, living, fences)

[compelled to reply]

Originally Posted by BornInFL

so many ppl deny the fact that people in Miami (overall) are rude.

Rude as in they put their elbows on the table and fart in public?

[planetsurf]

The "overall" is exactly what I don't agree with.

Yes, Miami is more an East Coast city like NY or Boston, we aren't a "Southern" city anymore in ANY way. There is a "time to make the donuts" mentality in the low level service people and a general "minding your own businesses" to almost everyone else.
And, there is DEFINATELY a jerk-vibe is some people - those idiots in Escalade's cutting everyone off on US1 or talking on a cellphone in a movie (usually loudly). We all run into these people, but honestly, what is the percentage of these idiots ... 1%, 2%?? Don't we just notice the one a-hole but not the hundred others driving perfectly well? We might have a slightly higher % of a-holes than a lot of places, but tell me what place in the US has ZERO?

I've really been trying to notice this since moving back from a city with a reputation as having such "friendliness," San Diego. But what most people call "friendliness" is what I would call "pleasantness," SD actually has a reputation as being a very difficult place to make friends.

Miami is NOT pleasant for the most part, but I can count on 1 hand the amount of truly rude people I'VE run into (not counting driving ) for the 8 months we've been back.

If you want a pleasant, even keeled populace, Miami is not it. We tend to mind our own business and be just a little over caffeinated. And I am NOT suggesting, in any way, that Miami is for everyone if they just "get over it."
But "overall" RUDE?? I simply don't see it.

[mikealialex]

My experience in Miami is that everyone is out for themselves. A very "rat hoarding the cheese" mentality. When was the last time anyone waved on the street (not a weapon, just a hand)? When I grew up in Kendall, we used to do that. Not anymore...

[planetsurf]

Originally Posted by mikealialex

My experience in Miami is that everyone is out for themselves. A very "rat hoarding the cheese" mentality. When was the last time anyone waved on the street (not a weapon, just a hand)? When I grew up in Kendall, we used to do that. Not anymore...

Wave to who??? To strangers?
Your neighbors? We do THAT every day, but no, I don't wave to strangers.

[mikealialex]

Originally Posted by planetsurf

Wave to who??? To strangers?
Your neighbors? We do THAT every day, but no, I don't wave to strangers.

Yeah, strangers...As a car drives by, we wave, and they wave back. As someone walks by with their dog, we wave at each other. Its nice and not self serving, as we dont get anything from doing it. It just feels good to drop the "me me me" and touch base with another person (even remotely).

[planetsurf]

Originally Posted by mikealialex

Yeah, strangers...As a car drives by, we wave, and they wave back. As someone walks by with their dog, we wave at each other. Its nice and not self serving, as we dont get anything from doing it. It just feels good to drop the "me me me" and touch base with another person (even remotely).

I've never lived anywhere in my life (NY/NJ, Cooper City then Plantation, G'ville, Atlanta, San Diego & Miami -- plus 2 months in Paris & 3 in Lima) where strangers waved at me.
Frankly, maybe it's the New Yorker in me, if a stranger waved at me, I'd think they wanted something from me! lol!

If I'm out front with the kids and a stranger walks by with their dog, we always say hi. Usually people say hi back. Actually, because we went through such a big remodel recently, lots of folks had been curious as to "what was going on" and most "strangers" have been very chatty and complimentary toward our finished house.

I guess it's a nice thing to do, but no, other than the occasional kid being goofy, Miamians don't wave at strangers that drive by.
If that's a prerequisite for a nice place to live, then Miami's not for you.

[miamiblue]

Originally Posted by planetsurf

I've never lived anywhere in my life (NY/NJ, Cooper City then Plantation, G'ville, Atlanta, San Diego & Miami -- 2 months in Paris & Lima) where strangers waved at me.
Frankly, maybe it's the New Yorker in me, if a stranger waved at me, I'd think they wanted something from me!

But I guess it's a nice thing to do, and no, Miamians don't wave at strangers that I've noticed.

It actually did used to happen in my neighborhood when I was growing up in east Kendall. Not so much anymore - but for one exception.

A tenant that rented a very nice house catty corner from my parents a few years ago would just wave away at anyone who drove by whenever he was mowing the front lawn. We hardly ever saw this guy, no one really knew him, but he was just the most friendly person at arm's length. Turned out he was using the 4br/3ba house on a half acre as a hydroponic nursery to grow marijuana. That's the only person you'll see waving at strangers in Miami nowadays! Otherwise people keep to themselves.

I admittedly didn't think people in Miami were rude until I went to college in Gainesville. I had visited lots of other places around the country and internationally, and had noticed a difference but wrote it off as the tourist factor. When I returned to Miami after college (and especially after working in retail), I noticed a difference in attitude that I hadn't noticed before because it was my "normal". People just don't give two flying you know whats about anyone but themselves - which is OK sometimes. However, when it is combined with a complete lack of respect for others, self-centeredness, entitlement complex, and conceit, it becomes overwhelmingly unpleasant, and in some cases (driving) can be dangerous.

I found myself having to adapt and be just like the rest, and after a while I kind of got used to it because that was the only way to get things done. But I always knew that for all the hustle and bustle, it was the arrogance that was the real turn off, and I didn't want to fake it forever. I'm a laid back person who would rather live and let live than have to deal with people being pissed off all the time. I became jaded because the "treat others like you want to be treated" mantra did not hold true in too many cases, no matter how hard I tried.

I have been to other places that are known for "rude" people, but it is really more about people just not going out of their way to be friendly. I can deal with that no problemo; I'm actually not very easily offended. Unfortunately, I have had way too many experiences of people going out of their way to just be jerks in Miami that I can't write it off as people just being wound up. It's an attitude thing. Not everyone is this way all of the time, but even the best intentioned people have to be that way at least sometimes in order to just get things done. I have great friends in Miami that are awesome people and are not "rude", but I have seen all of us exhibit some Miami attitude at times when it had to be done to hold our ground.

You'd think that in a place so many people consider to be paradise, people would be a little more laid back and be happy more often than they are pissed off. I always tried to attribute the hostile attitude to the oppressive heat in order to keep my faith in humanity! Now whenever I go back to visit and feel the road rage coming on, I try to noticably laugh at the offender and they just don't know what to think. Laughing is a whole lot better than frowning, scowling or crying, that's for sure!

[BornInFL]

it's funny that some ppl just dont see it (how rude miami is nowadays, and south florida for that matter). go to another state in the southeast, you'll see. if you are coming from boston, nyc, or latin america, which, if you live in miami, is probably where your from) you may not notice it as much. but take a visit to the real south, and you'll see...

[BornInFL]

stuff like this is what i am talking about... this is typical miami stuff that you dont see in nc... and this is coming from people that have actually lived in both places, such as myself. we see the difference, and it is a big one!!!

Originally Posted by mikealialex

I agree Luis, we need to keep the news to ourselves! I do like reading the Miami forum though...My spin on rudeness in Miami? I work retail, and in Miami had to deal with csts opening packages, throwing items on the floor, etc. Here, no such thing. Almost every cst brings their own shopping cart all the way back to the store front, rather than leaving it in the parking lot to ding someones car. But shhh We dont want the rude people moving here

[planetsurf]

Originally Posted by BornInFL

it's funny that some ppl just dont see it (how rude miami is nowadays, and south florida for that matter). go to another state in the southeast, you'll see. if you are coming from boston, nyc, or latin america, which, if you live in miami, is probably where your from) you may not notice it as much. but take a visit to the real south, and you'll see...

I lived in Atlanta for 5 years, Gainesville for 5 (not totally immune from the SoFla disease I suppose) and San Diego for 6. I DO see a difference, I just don't see a GIANT difference, and the difference I DO see I just don't care about, it isn't important to ME.
Miami is just WAY, WAY more interesting to us and TOTALLY worth it from that perspective. The people I work with, my kids educators, my family and friends aren't "rude" at all. The occasional "rude" people you run into (no doubt more than most places) just don't affect ME in any real or tangible way. I've never chosen to live someplace based on what OTHER people do.

"Real" Southerns can be VERY rude too, you know. They just do it all nice. "I have a sweater JUST like that that I wear on the weekends" or "Where are your people from? Oh, isn't that interesting that you aren't from around here" are 2 classic quotes we brought back from Atlanta.

NO PLACE is 100% "nice" or 100% "rude" it's what is important to YOU, your priorities, that matters.