[kcam213]

Originally Posted by Nearborn

Pretty amazing that you can read their minds like that.....especially the part about what they're "mistakenly assuming". I'll take your word that you can identify a "look of utter contempt" is, but being able to tell what people are assuming? Sounds like you may be seeing what you want to see sometimes.



"The D"? "Smooth with 1 black person"?.....Oh brother.....By the way, "hung" is the past tense of "hang". "Hanged" is what happens with the rope is shorter than the drop.

Do you know what a look of total surprise looks like? I am sure if you were watching a movie and this scene was played out, you would not need someone to tell you "oh this is the part where the man is surprised". There is such a thing called "non verbal facial cues". If you are not familiar with this...

This other quote about smooth with 1 black person.... this is not my quote.
But thank you for the lesson on proper spelling and conjugaction of the verb "hang".

[funbustours]

Originally Posted by kcam213

If I am out minding my own business with my family, and suddenly when it is apparent who I am with... the majority of the time, the stares and rolling of eyes come from Black females. I have noticed, my husband has noticed it too.

Younger black men will usually keep stepping, not missing a beat. Same for younger non blacks. Some older people (black and white) seems genuinely surprised or confused (and then embarrassed when they mistakenly assume we are not a couple.

I have more than once noticed a younger black female (younger I mean 30's and 40's) look at me with total contempt for no action on my part, other than walking through the grocery store with my husband and daughter.

I know what a look of total contempt is. If I told you that a white person looked at me with total contempt, I believe that you would trust that I know what contempt looks like and would not question me. Because I say this look of contempt comes from a person of color, suddenly I am making stereotypes.

KCam213....
I've been "peeking" at your blogs from "way" back, and I find you to be a together young lady....I, too, am African-American - 52 years old, and have lived around both races all my life....I married a wonderful Black man (yes, you are right - - they are rare indeed ); but my brothers married white females...and of course have caught all kinds of he** for it ! They all have kids of mixed races and even their poor kids catch it for being a beautiful mix of color....and God forbid having the "good hair" !

Yes, yes, yes, there are PLENTY of black female haters who would scowl at you and when you mentioned that, I did not take it as "lumping all Black women into one group"....all you were doing is stating a fact...your reality as you saw it....And if that blogger can't take the reality, then she must be one of those "guilty parties" in denial....that's why she excluded herself as "one who wouldn't be jealous of you"....in so many words..... (smile ) The tone of her response said it all....

But as for me, I am happy for you - and I will tell ANY woman and ANY man, its hard enough to find a great mate....so don't limit yourself to one color or the other....!!! That's stupid...cuz you could be missing out on a great partner, right ? So, you go, girl...and don't worry about jealous knuckleheads...Oh, by the way, I'm originally from Benton Harbor, Mich...now living in the sticks in Southern Mississippi...and, yea, that's another thread altogether !! ha! ha! - - But I might add, that I DO NOT live in ghetto, and never will, cuz like you, I want to protect my children, ( I have four sons )... We happen to live in an all white neighborhood....matter of fact we are the first Black family on this entire block....so far, so good...and yea....we take care of our lawn, too !! - - All two acres of it !

[and the]

and I will tell ANY woman and ANY man, its hard enough to find a great mate....so don't limit yourself to one color or the other....!!!

Are you implying that people of "either" race in the dating pool should steer clear of the Asians?

[kcam213]

Originally Posted by funbustours

KCam213....
I've been "peeking" at your blogs from "way" back, and I find you to be a together young lady....I, too, am African-American - 52 years old, and have lived around both races all my life....I married a wonderful Black man (yes, you are right - - they are rare indeed ); but my brothers married white females...and of course have caught all kinds of he** for it ! They all have kids of mixed races and even their poor kids catch it for being a beautiful mix of color....and God forbid having the "good hair" !

Yes, yes, yes, there are PLENTY of black female haters who would scowl at you and when you mentioned that, I did not take it as "lumping all Black women into one group"....all you were doing is stating a fact...your reality as you saw it....And if that blogger can't take the reality, then she must be one of those "guilty parties" in denial....that's why she excluded herself as "one who wouldn't be jealous of you"....in so many words..... (smile ) The tone of her response said it all....

But as for me, I am happy for you - and I will tell ANY woman and ANY man, its hard enough to find a great mate....so don't limit yourself to one color or the other....!!! That's stupid...cuz you could be missing out on a great partner, right ? So, you go, girl...and don't worry about jealous knuckleheads...Oh, by the way, I'm originally from Benton Harbor, Mich...now living in the sticks in Southern Mississippi...and, yea, that's another thread altogether !! ha! ha! - - But I might add, that I DO NOT live in ghetto, and never will, cuz like you, I want to protect my children, ( I have four sons )... We happen to live in an all white neighborhood....matter of fact we are the first Black family on this entire block....so far, so good...and yea....we take care of our lawn, too !! - - All two acres of it !

Thanks for speaking up in my defense. I don't want to come across the wrong way... I was just speaking of my own personal experience.

To be fair, my husband and I have been married for a while now (13 years in February) and the racial dating scene has changed in Michigan. I now see more and more mixed couples where the woman is black and the man is white. And no one gives them a second look (except maybe me, at first, cause I was the one who was surprised, hehehe).

And that is a good thing... because let me tell you, it is hard to find someone to build a life, family and future with. Why limit yourself to a certain age group, certain height or weight and yes, even skin color. Life is short, this life will too soon be over.

People need to live life to the fullest. I really believe that on my death bed, I will not regret marrying a man I love who was of a different race. But I could see myself regretting not marrying at all because I couldn't find that right man in my own skin color.

[funbustours]

Originally Posted by and the

Are you implying that people of "either" race in the dating pool should steer clear of the Asians?

Ya See....that's how some posts get "ugly"....by one person "assuming" that a blogger is "implying" something.....because I did not mention Asians, per se.

You see, AND THE, I (like most rational adults) will usually just come right out and SAY what they mean...most grown folk don't have to IMPLY anything....they're big enough just to come right out and say EXACTLY what they mean....

So, to further answer your question, I don't do the IMPLY thing....I state facts or make direct statements....My belief is that if one IMPLIES something, that one must be afraid or fearfully hesitant to make a direct statement.

Me and KCam213 were just having what they call and "A and B" conversation...which at that particular moment happened to be talking about Black vs. White....and I guess for your sake, I could have said "one race or another"....how's that ?? (smile)

My belief is that all races are fair game in the dating game !

[kcam213]

It was not even worth the effort to respond to And the. I have seen his posts on several threads.

[funbustours]

Originally Posted by kcam213

Thanks for speaking up in my defense. I don't want to come across the wrong way... I was just speaking of my own personal experience.

To be fair, my husband and I have been married for a while now (13 years in February) and the racial dating scene has changed in Michigan. I now see more and more mixed couples where the woman is black and the man is white. And no one gives them a second look (except maybe me, at first, cause I was the one who was surprised, hehehe).

And that is a good thing... because let me tell you, it is hard to find someone to build a life, family and future with. Why limit yourself to a certain age group, certain height or weight and yes, even skin color. Life is short, this life will too soon be over.

People need to live life to the fullest. I really believe that on my death bed, I will not regret marrying a man I love who was of a different race. But I could see myself regretting not marrying at all because I couldn't find that right man in my own skin color.

You're quite welcome! What you say about it being hard to find someone to build a life with is so very true...just look around you. We can look at our family and friends who don't have mates and see that, huh ? (smile) It's tough now-a-days...I know is was for me.

I have been married 12 years...since 1996 and for a while there, it was touch and go...I didn't think I'd find anybody...Watched my little brothers, little sister, cousins, etc., get married all around my old butt...and I wondered "Lord, what is wrong with me?" Why can't I find a nice guy? Why do I keep kissing frogs? Where's my prince ? I was 40 years old, and just getting married for the first time...so you know I can relate to what you're sayin...But when I got on my knees and prayed, things started looking better...God is Good !

And also, I learned over the years (like you said) QUIT LOOKING FOR MR. CUTIE PIE !! Mr. Cutie Pie, gets and got all the girls he wants....they throw themselves at Mr. Pie, right? The trick to finding your mate is to not be so selfish, not be so darn particular and specific, not be so "into" him.....LET THAT JOKER BE INTO YOU !! Find someone who loves you "a little bit more" that you love him, and you got yourself a good mate...And I tell you something else I've found (and this may not be right for all women) but it sure the heck was right for me....FIND YOURSELF A GUY WHO IS SOMEWHAT OLDER THAN YOU ARE...more mature, more settle minded...more together...!! And also if you can get one of them old Southern Men...oh, suki, suki, now !!

I have a niece right now who is a beautiful girl, fairly young, thin, beautiful pretty much inside and out, but her problem, from my perspective is that she does not love herself enough. She is tall too...And I say that for a reason...this silly gal is always picking guys who are CONSIDERABLY shorter than her (oh, I wish you could see them) and also pics ones that are not looking to better themselves. They use her, abuse her, curse at her, has no respect for her or her young children, matter of fact SHE SAYS he does not even like her children. This poor girl is actually seeing a guy that I have labeled a NOBODY....He's useless !! And they fight (argue) ALL THE TIME !! They have broken up just this year alone, probably well over 10 times, and I'm probably being conservative with that figure...but she constantly lets him come back. She is in a vicious cycle of dealing with a deadbeat type of guy...and really, this girl could have the "pick of the litter" with just her looks !!! She is adopted, but I believe she is of mixed race (Black and Asian) ...Oh, Sh*!.....Don't let me get AND THE started again !!

Re: Your "life is short" statement...yes it is, and I am a witness to that...just lost my baby sister (45 years old)...She never did find her a good man after separating from a husband SHE was SO in love with....she never recovered from that break up....I honestly believe my baby sister died wanting to get back with her ex-husband....it's so sad....cuz I don't think he ever loved her....Also you think about mortality when you've had a bout with cancer as I have...yes, ma'am - - life is short !

So if the man is not the cutest, maybe has a little gut, receeding hairline, or no hair at all, does not have a Ph.D, maybe a "little" on the sort side - - not too much (ha!); and is not Denzel's twin.....that's okay.....!! He may love you dearly and you better Recognize !! Some men are "work's in progress"....fixer-uppers if you will... (smile)

You have the right idea about life and love and I wish you much happiness.

P.S. I wish I had-had a daughter...I really, really, tried - but I guess that it wasn't in the cards for me - - although boys are easier to deal with...heck, they don't even care if they are clean !! Quote: "ma-ma...my hands are okay...I washed them this morning"....

And some say, oh you can try again for that girl...ladies are having babies older and older these days....! Yea, right! I could just see me breast-feeding a baby....poor little baby would taste that old thang and say: "mommie...is that buttermilk ???!! "

[funbustours]

Originally Posted by kcam213

It was not even worth the effort to respond to And the. I have seen his posts on several threads.

Oh, okay....I know you're right....I've seen "those" kind...I am just getting back into thread discussions...it's been a long time since I have blogged on them - - almost a year....

Don't know what made me start cruising again....well, guess I do know...bored...

[Huckleberry3911948]

the original concept, white flight disappeared 30 years ago.
if anything you have got white incoming aka gentrification---
the reverse of white flight. of course some folks complain if white people are outgoing or incoming either way they dont like it.
what is really awful is if you dont have any white people around. who you guna blame.

[RangerDuke08]

Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948

the original concept, white flight disappeared 30 years ago.
if anything you have got white incoming aka gentrification---
the reverse of white flight. of course some folks complain if white people are outgoing or incoming either way they dont like it.
what is really awful is if you dont have any white people around. who you guna blame.

You right about gentrification, it does make sense, in a way segregation for the most part has transformed into voluntary segregation through income and social status, anyone can thus live in a gentrified-upscale city as long as they have the money, but what about the poor-middle class white and colored folks. King dreamt that voluntary segregation (ie. inner city vs. suburbs) were equally horrible social trends as much as forced segregation. While cities may always claim diversity, mainly an economic factor and growth a natural occurrance. As we wonder while the Sun Belt becomes predominately Hispanic in our lifetime, will the heartland become whiter while the coastal states and sun belt more colored in due time, a trend that is correcting itself, shall we say, a scary thought process but I believe there are evidence to believe it is happening.