[mewith3]

Originally Posted by martinman

Hi Everyone,

I have a very difficult decision ahead of me that I hope you can help me with. That is, to relocate out of Michigan. I work for the healthier of the "Detroit 3", and all things considered have a pretty secure position in the company. Technically, I'm not looking for a job, but of course, I never turn down a conversation. I love what I do, and I generally like the people I work with. Anyway, this 'conversation' turned into a job offer with an aerospace / defense contractor in Southern NJ (just outside of Philly). It was quite the whirlwind over the past few months dealing with them. The offer is outstanding $15k to go back to school, 25% increase in salary, relocation benefits, signing bonus, etc. The only issue is that they won't buy our house (they'll cover realestate comissions, etc.). We're not in that bad of a situation housing wise - we bought in 1999 and made a few changes. Of course, we'd be out our equity ($50k, plus maybe another $5-$10 out of pocket just to get out of our house). Renting just isn't an option. All things considered, it's a great offer. However, I haven't been able to get over the whole living outside of Michigan thing...

I've been here for 30 year of my life. Grew up here, parents here.. Heck, my whole family is here. My wife and are just starting a family (one daugher with hopefully more coming) -- I want my kids to know her family, grandparents, great grandparents, cousins, etc. Sure, NJ is not that far away, and they'd come visit, but it's just not the same. I seem have this nagging guilt that if we move away that my kids will be loosing something not being close to their family. I'm hoping to hear from other people who have gone through something similar. Really the most important thing for me at this point, is the health and safety of my family. It's nice to have options too for them grown up (not sure where michigan will be in 5-10 years). Lots of changes ahead. Leaving friends and family was never in the plan, ya know??

However, with that said, my wife and I agree that a change would be good, and while nothing is perfect, the situation that I'm presented with is darn near close (although, NJ isn't our first choice). I love Michigan (well, for 9 months out of the year anyway... I have a love / hate relationship with the other 3). The people are great. Everything is close. Wife and I are avid outdoors people - lots of summer activities. We have family on the west side of the state. We do have family in PA (about an hour drive), so we wouldn't be totally isolated, but still. I never went away for school, so I haven't been able to develop this sence of independence that most people have... Probably a big part of it too is fear of the unknown. I'm comfortable here. Will our house sell? Will the auto-industry recover? Would it be ok to stay and just ride out the storm? Ok, enough rambling.

Any suggestions / comments are more than welcome!

Well, NJ and Phiily people do things outdoors too
But to be realistic, go to the NJ/Philly board right here at City-data forums and find out the col difference. Find out about the company and the area it is in, I am sure someone there will be able to help make comparisons.

We moved anyway right afetr college, we now have a family here ours, with no relatives to help. It really isn't that bad, it is an adjustment, but my children all know who their grandparents are. Many have lived without family nearby. You can also make new friends elsewhere.

Stable or not the Big 3 have what I will say is a long rocky road ahead, I know for a fact very high level people at places like Ford have been let go, they are part of my network (since being laidoff myself from a supplier to the automotive industry) -- so it can happen, anything can happen. Finding a job is harder we were given a nice severance as were the people higher ups from Ford etc, and there isn't much in Michigan as we are all part of the LHH program where they help you network and list jobs etc.

We had an offer in an east coast state, but the raise would have never set off the increased col, and with a house back here we decided it wasn't for us. Maybe we should have taken the leap...but after running the numbers nine million times, we opted to let it go.

If you go and hate it after a 2 years you could look at other states and other jobs. It's actually easier when the kids are younger to move.

I think if the opportunity presented itself and it seemed doable adjusted for col and some other incidentals, I would take the opportunity and go, call it an adventure.

If you do go and it works out great, if it doesn't are you really behind? Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Best of luck to you in your decision!

[tjay]

my opinion is don't do anything just because of money. if you're doing okay now, you like it here, etc. do you really think money can replace all that good stuff? trust me, i moved away from michigan and all things (family, home, the beauty of this state) became quite a big deal. i'd rather be happy than have excess money and have an aching in my heart.

i also have hope that michigan can make lemonade with all these lemons....and when they do it will be quite a pain in the a** to have to move back! :}

[dhanu86]

I'm from south jersey. If ur leaving home, atleast south jersey is the best alternative in the country. It's more like 6 months of nice weather here and Philly metro is more alive than Detroit. It's less depressing here, but u may feel depression being away from ur relatives and eventually want to move back. Whatever u do, I think children should grow up in one area.