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Old 11-11-2011, 08:22 AM
 
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To the OP, from all accounts I've heard the lowering of standards years ago has been trending in the other direction since the decision to draw down Iraq. Most active duty were never intending to be lifers, however, those options are less available as less billets become available. Suggestion if I may... don't count on the military for this kid. He'll only be rolled out for his lack of motivation early on wasting everyone's time and worse for wear on general discharge.

The young man sounds like he's short shrift fatherly guidance and being on him like white on rice to focus his attention on self awareness is most needful. If you genuinely care about him, you'll invest in mentoring him with various job skills to help him figure out a direction. You'd be surprised what apprenticeships, even if it's in your own garage or after hours on the job, can accomplish. Males derive so much of their self esteem from their professions, and when lacking a profession, are carried by the tide like flotsam. Leaving it up to the streets/ peers (urban or rural) to finish raising him up into his own boots is the worst plan.

Veterans leaving active duty right now are reported to have higher rates of unemployment than civilians. That's how tough the job market is. Teaching him to create his own job is the best gift anyone could give him.
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Old 11-11-2011, 11:29 AM
 
1,023 posts, read 1,181,165 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by harborlady View Post
To the OP, from all accounts I've heard the lowering of standards years ago has been trending in the other direction since the decision to draw down Iraq. Most active duty were never intending to be lifers, however, those options are less available as less billets become available. Suggestion if I may... don't count on the military for this kid. He'll only be rolled out for his lack of motivation early on wasting everyone's time and worse for wear on general discharge.

The young man sounds like he's short shrift fatherly guidance and being on him like white on rice to focus his attention on self awareness is most needful. If you genuinely care about him, you'll invest in mentoring him with various job skills to help him figure out a direction. You'd be surprised what apprenticeships, even if it's in your own garage or after hours on the job, can accomplish. Males derive so much of their self esteem from their professions, and when lacking a profession, are carried by the tide like flotsam. Leaving it up to the streets/ peers (urban or rural) to finish raising him up into his own boots is the worst plan.

Veterans leaving active duty right now are reported to have higher rates of unemployment than civilians. That's how tough the job market is. Teaching him to create his own job is the best gift anyone could give him.
I would disagree! Our military could be the answer he is searching for. Many guys in my community were lost or even problematic honestly, many of them become the great Operators;then you have those that appear bred to become Operators (water polo,rugby,swim team,etc etc). Miltary could open doors for such a young man.
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Old 11-13-2011, 01:23 PM
 
701 posts, read 1,372,658 times
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Originally Posted by safak View Post
18 year old nephew(who graduated h.s. last year) and he has supposedly been trying to go since he graduated and there keeps popping up excuses why he has to wait and wait. First it was airforce, then marines, now the army.

... keeps saying he's going to the miliary and its always a problem, from his new tattoo wouldn't let him to now..supposedly he says Obama isn't letting him.

So I just want to know if there is something going on in the miliary where its hard to get in now? I don't mind helping out the sister-in-law from time to time but every month, ..if hes just being lazy I need to put the foot down.
Might be time to put that foot down. Hard to say why he isn't in the military when clearly others are able to join. Either he isn't qualified or he is just goofing off.

In any case, time for him to figure out what to do now that the military appears out of the picture.

You may want to take him aside for a man to man during Thanksgiving get together. Ask him what is going on and what his plans are. Perhaps some guidance and encouragement would be appreciated. Perhaps not.

You may want to ask how he paid for that new tattoo when he isn't working and you are picking up the tab for car repairs and so forth. It might be time to explain that the Bank of Uncle is closing.
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Old 11-16-2011, 10:42 AM
 
Location: Petticoat Junction
930 posts, read 1,439,567 times
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Put your foot down.
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Old 06-21-2017, 03:41 PM
 
Location: Yucaipa, California
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I know a married man with 4 kids that was in the army for 10 years (sgt, E-5) & got out. He ended up regretting it & worked low paying jobs & struggled big time. He was half way to retirement & up for a promotion. He was a tank driver.
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Old 06-21-2017, 04:47 PM
 
Location: New Mexico U.S.A.
22,784 posts, read 34,447,638 times
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Originally Posted by steel7 View Post
I know a married man with 4 kids that was in the army for 10 years (sgt, E-5) & got out. He ended up regretting it & worked low paying jobs & struggled big time. He was half way to retirement & up for a promotion. He was a tank driver.
Sometimes half way, the last 10 years are much harder than the first 10 years...
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Old 06-21-2017, 04:57 PM
 
Location: Yucaipa, California
9,194 posts, read 16,291,904 times
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Originally Posted by Poncho_NM View Post
Sometimes half way, the last 10 years are much harder than the first 10 years...
Why so ?
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Old 06-21-2017, 07:04 PM
 
Location: New Mexico U.S.A.
22,784 posts, read 34,447,638 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by steel7 View Post
Why so ?
That is just the way it has always worked out. Not many reached the 20 year retirement point.

How many people are willing to be separated from their families for a year?

Some people just do not like their military career. High expectations or grossly imagined assignments.

People change as they grow older,

Some statistics:

Chapter 6: A Profile of the Modern Military | Pew Research Center
Quote:
Todayís military also is serving somewhat longer than its counterparts a generation or two ago. The average officer in 2009 had been in the military nearly 11 years.

The pattern among enlisted personnel is more complicated now stands at 6.7 years.
Have you stayed with any company 20+ years?
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Old 06-21-2017, 07:29 PM
 
4,316 posts, read 1,459,411 times
Reputation: 7439
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poncho_NM View Post
That is just the way it has always worked out. Not many reached the 20 year retirement point.

How many people are willing to be separated from their families for a year?

Some people just do not like their military career. High expectations or grossly imagined assignments.

People change as they grow older,

Some statistics:

Chapter 6: A Profile of the Modern Military | Pew Research Center


Have you stayed with any company 20+ years?


Great post, great explanation.


My stepson served 20 years in the Navy and said the last two years were by far the most difficult.
Every duty station is different, everybody higher ranked than you are different.


He hit a bunch of negative situations all coming together his last two years.


"People change as they grow older "


I recall my Naval Air days and an ADJ1 (11 years) telling me that he lost his enthusiasm about the 10 year mark and doesn't really know why.
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Old 06-21-2017, 07:38 PM
 
6,400 posts, read 5,265,511 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by steel7 View Post
I know a married man with 4 kids that was in the army for 10 years (sgt, E-5) & got out. He ended up regretting it & worked low paying jobs & struggled big time. He was half way to retirement & up for a promotion. He was a tank driver.
Some people don't have life plans or the personal drive/ambition to achieve them. Many people need the structure of the military as a crutch to do anything with their lives.
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