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Old 12-08-2011, 03:50 PM
 
Location: the Beaver State
6,468 posts, read 11,153,819 times
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An alternative perspective. I was a lot like your son, even down to almost the same SAT Scores and interests.

Most likely his problem currently is with school itself. He's wasn't challenged all the way back in Grade School and got bored. He's just cruised along since then because he doesn't see the value of the schooling that he has been given. His disinterest in college stems from the same problem.

I was pushed hard by my parents to go to college, but nothing ever sounded interesting for me to want to do it as a career. I investigated military options but was rejected for health issues, so ended up going to college anyways. My college choice ended up being a school that was cheap, but just far enough away from home to keep my parents from hounding me about my grades.

I ended up dropping out of college because I excelled enough in my job that 40 hours a week making $20/hour at 20 years old sounded better then another $20k in loans and the possibility of a $16/hour after graduating. That and the fact that I changed my major 8 times in 2.5 years had something to do with it.

I'm now making significantly more then that, and have been lucky enough to land at a multi-billion dollar company that values ability more then a piece of paper.

I do regret somewhat not having at least kept going to night school to finish a degree of some sort. I sort of regret not having been able to get into the military, but I also realize that I was not exactly the best candidate for such at that time.

He's probably feeling a bit lost right now. He KNOWS he's expected to go to college but the prospect of four to eight more years of boring school is not attractive. I would let him know that the decision is his at this point, he may not realize that it really is.
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Old 12-08-2011, 04:32 PM
 
Location: Texas
14,078 posts, read 17,030,960 times
Reputation: 7701
Quote:
Originally Posted by hamellr View Post
An alternative perspective. I was a lot like your son, even down to almost the same SAT Scores and interests.

Most likely his problem currently is with school itself. He's wasn't challenged all the way back in Grade School and got bored. He's just cruised along since then because he doesn't see the value of the schooling that he has been given. His disinterest in college stems from the same problem.

I was pushed hard by my parents to go to college, but nothing ever sounded interesting for me to want to do it as a career. I investigated military options but was rejected for health issues, so ended up going to college anyways. My college choice ended up being a school that was cheap, but just far enough away from home to keep my parents from hounding me about my grades.

I ended up dropping out of college because I excelled enough in my job that 40 hours a week making $20/hour at 20 years old sounded better then another $20k in loans and the possibility of a $16/hour after graduating. That and the fact that I changed my major 8 times in 2.5 years had something to do with it.

I'm now making significantly more then that, and have been lucky enough to land at a multi-billion dollar company that values ability more then a piece of paper.

I do regret somewhat not having at least kept going to night school to finish a degree of some sort. I sort of regret not having been able to get into the military, but I also realize that I was not exactly the best candidate for such at that time.

He's probably feeling a bit lost right now. He KNOWS he's expected to go to college but the prospect of four to eight more years of boring school is not attractive. I would let him know that the decision is his at this point, he may not realize that it really is.

I personally think everyone should take a couple of years off between high school and college. Work, travel, serve. Do something besides lay around Mom's house.
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Old 12-08-2011, 05:42 PM
 
18,856 posts, read 30,447,336 times
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I have one son who went in the Army. He is currently an E-5, he works on diesel engines and does car repairs in the Army. He did not score well on his first ASVAB, so he took a course at the community college to get a better score. He was in ROTC in high school, it was his favorite class.

But, he wanted to go. Military is not a place for people who don't want to be there. If he had not gone military, he was thinking about college, but he is not academic. He worked at a call center, and was doing well, but he did not want to stay there. The thing that tipped the scales for him was the opportunity to go new places. He loves that. He volunteers for new training, goes different places. He likes working on the big equipment.

As a child, all he did was take things apart. At least now he puts stuff together.
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Old 12-25-2011, 03:22 PM
 
Location: In peace, and not dealing with fools
179 posts, read 116,027 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
First let me say, that I know little about the military. My father served in the Marines in Korea, although never saw combat, and well that is about it.I know what the branches are and have a very basic knowledge of what each do.

I have an 18 year old son who is a nice young man.Unlike many in his generation, he is friendly and respectful. Adults like him and besides going to High School, he holds a position dealing with the public as an sales associate in a department store. He gets high reviews from his superiors, is well spoken, engaging and works hard at his job.

School however, is another matter. Although his teachers, peers and guidance counselors, adore him, his grades are mediocre. He just gets by, and constantly has to be coerced to do school work.

Getting him to fill out college applications has been a chore for me, as is getting him to study for his SATs and writing and revising college essays.I feel that just getting him to begin and to complete such tasks, is more effort on my part than it seems to be worth.

I am beginning to wonder if college at this point in time is right for him. Is he going through the motions - poorly at that, because I want him to do this, or might he benefit from time in a branch of the armed forces, which might be an experience that will impart maturity and personal growth.

An additional issue is that college will be a great financial sacrifice for me. We are sending he and his sister to private school, mostly because the schools in our city are poor. This is a sacrifice that I have made, with a view to getting them into a good college. It is working out wonderfully for his sister, I am wasting money on his education, as far as I can see.

I am almost thinking of pulling him out of High School now. He just turned 18. He could get his GED and join the service.

I went to college and I went to high school. I was looking forward to his leaving home in the fall. I do not get any support from his father, my husband. I am not interested in holding his hand as he goes through a community college. I in fact want to obtain my Masters degree. I cant do it if I am spending all of my time, helping, yelling, cajoling and pushing.

I admit that I do not want him to be killed or injured. He has a high IQ and I am sure that he will do well on the entrance exam. Will a GED be sufficient for entry?

I am willing to listen to all or any advice about this issue. I am beginning to think that if he goes to a third rate college, he will still not do well, if past performance is any indication of future performance. He can also ruin his ability to obtain financial aid if he flunks out.

He really is a basically good kid. But college may not be for him at least not right now. Thanking you in advance for your input.
Best bet probably would be the Coasties...more bases stateside. Not such a large chance of him getting hurt overseas unless his ship sinks. Seen lots of Coasties stateside and only a relative few overseas.
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Old 12-27-2011, 06:00 PM
 
5,106 posts, read 6,062,113 times
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1. Do not pull him out and have him take the GED for any reason, even entry into the military. GED will limit him down the road for consideration for future opportunities. It isn't bad, but it doesn't put you into competitive positions. If he chooses to do this, it is his decision and he must live with the results.

2. What does he want. College? then he must get on the stick and make it happen. Work? hang in there and get through school then get a job. Military? it will be there after he decides.

3. Some people are not ready, are rebellious, or just don't want to do what society says they should at that time. Or what parents say should do. But they have to make their lives. Relax, life balances out in the long view.

Speaking from experience here....
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Old 01-03-2012, 09:30 AM
 
Location: Petticoat Junction
930 posts, read 1,575,979 times
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My son was as you describe. Although very bright, he did not have the discipline to succeed in college, and I was not going to finance a 4-year party schedule for him at State U.

Fortunately, he enlisted in the Army and is now an AH-64 Apache crew chief/electronics repairer. He loves the structure and training in the Army, opportunities for travel, and it has matured him greatly in all areas. He's not perfect by any means, but the difference in his demeanor is dramatically for the better. He aims to make it a career, if he can in this era of military downsizing. If not, he has a valuable skill to take to the civilian world.

It was, IMO, the best decision he's ever made, and he would tell you that as well. Just another data point for you, FWIW.
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