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Sorry for the double post... this blows me away. Lawyers also have NOTHING to do with you joining. You don't need a lawyer for anything to do with joining... just your divoroce. You can join married, single, or divored. One has nothing to do with the other.
I'm dumbstruck as to how you could have been so misinformed.
I AM A RECRUITER by the way... so I am not answering out of what I think. I'm literally a recruiter. I have put dozens of people in the Air Force and never even spoken to some of their spouses.
The bolded part surprises me. When my dh re enlisted after we met, the RinC in his office had me come in to speak with me and to have me fill out and sign some paperwork, as we were getting married prior to his 'ship date'. When dh was recruiting, he also had to have the spouses come in to speak with the RinC... he's not here right now or I'd ask him... maybe it was just an informal thing? I do know the military as an organization is concerned about divorce rates - when dh went for Recruiting duty, I had to speak with the XO of his ship before he'd sign off on it; they hammered into me that Recruiting duty was considered the toughest duty to draw if you are married and that less than 10% of marriages survive it. Of course, when we got to the duty station, none of the other married recruiters had gone through that, so it's possible some are just more thorough than others.
I prefer to talk to spouses. Their life will change, they will have to move, I want to help them understand their benefits, etc. However, I respect each individual marriage and do not insist that the spouse be there. Some spouses have jobs, trust their spouse to make a decision, and/or have done a lot of research and don't feel the need to come in and ask questions.
We do have to provide information about the spouse, like SSN, Date of Birth, Name, etc, but they don't actually have to sign anything.
I'm working with some married applicants now (as an officer recruiter). Some of my applicants live as far as 16 hours away (I have a large zone). I can pay for the applicants to travel to meet me and process; I can not pay for family members. I'm not going to ask the spouse to travel 32 hours round trip to chit-chat.
Ideally, I'd love to talk with the whole family... but it is not a requirement.
I am leaving for Air Force basic and wanting to file for divorce should I file before leaving in a few weeks
If you file before you will be ineligible to join and they will shred your contract. You can't join if you are undergoing civil proceedings. Why? What if you have to appear in court, during basic or job training? You can't join while undergoing a divorce. You can divorce now and wait until it it totally final, or you can join and divorce after.
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