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Old 12-03-2013, 10:51 PM
 
7 posts, read 7,443 times
Reputation: 15
Default enlisting with a child

Can I enlist with a kid? I'm 20 , my son is 6 months. I plan on enlisting in a year or two. I was officially going to go in last year but fell pregnant at the time I was talking to recruiters again. I don't know what branch. My dh wants me to do air force but I want to do army. My mom was in the navy but I hate ships, and I'm nut crazy enough for the marines. Plus dh say I'd if I enlisted into the marines I'd be single. Sounds like a scare tactic but I think he doesn't want them to change me into one of them. Same goes for army. I think he thinks the only way for me to still keep some part of myself is to enlist into the af. Back on track: can I enlist with a child?
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Old 12-04-2013, 06:34 AM
 
Location: New Mexico USA
17,138 posts, read 17,839,317 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by da808gypsy View Post
Back on track: can I enlist with a child?
Basically yes. There are some conditions. You have to be able to guarantee that the child has someone to take care of it while you are on duty, deployed etc... I guess dh is your spouse (I hate that term). We have known a few married couples over the years with kids and the wife was the military member.

Start talking to all the recruiters...
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Old 12-04-2013, 07:06 AM
 
1,028 posts, read 539,928 times
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You "fell pregnant? That must have hurt like hell.

Since you're married, the child shouldn't be an issue as I assume your husband will take care of him while you're in training, etc. Of course the way you describe him, he sounds like a tool.

The main thing is that you have a plan for how your son will be taken care of when you are away.
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Old 12-04-2013, 10:13 AM
 
4,503 posts, read 1,336,775 times
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I wouldn't expect the other services to be any slacker than this, but in the USAF, if you are a single parent you have to give them a plan for the care of your child in any instance that you might be called to duty, everything from suddenly having to work an extended shift to having to report for a 6-month deployment within 24 hours to having to report for a remote PCS (more than 6 months).

One time (while I was a single parent) I was just about to go home for the day when we got a last minute call that literally kept me in the building for the next four straight days. Fortunately, I had it worked out with my private babysitter that in such a case I could leave my son with her for an extended period of time. If necessary, my plan called for my mother to be able to get him within 48 hours--she had a key to my house where I had a "mobility bag" packed even for my child.

We had numerous cases where our units deployed for six months with no more than 24 hours notice, where single parents were on deployment rotations going overseas 3 months out of every 18...and we were Intel folk who were theoretically "chair bound" with 9-5 jobs. We weren't even "operators." In the military, stuff happens and it can happen to anyone at any time.

So your provision can't be make-believe...it has to be something that will really work at sudden notice.

This can make it tough on non-military spouses. Unless a military spouse has a very rare job that's easily transportable, it means being put out of work for a few months with every move. Even if the job is transportable, it will mean losing seniority with every move and starting out over and over as the "new guy."

Traditionally, that's tougher on dependent husbands than dependent wives...at least non-working dependent husbands tend to go wonkier than non-working dependent wives. The husbands of the military women who worked for me were always sources of problems for their wives. The military women working for me were always top-notch, but their husbands were universally jerks at being military dependent spouses.
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Old 12-04-2013, 11:22 AM
 
18,868 posts, read 14,942,728 times
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I had a friend in for five years, she had to quit due to child care issues. She got a divorce, her ex bailed on her. No choices. She is often frustrated and resentful.
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Old 12-04-2013, 01:52 PM
 
Location: Greater LA area
3,685 posts, read 2,037,697 times
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I don't agree with moms in the military.

I was a military wife and I also have worked at a daycare near the base. I have seen how much children suffer when one of their parents were deployed. Horrible, just horrible. They don't understand why mom or dad just leaves them out of nowhere. And when they finally accept it, then the parent comes back ...

Stop FALLING pregnant if you don't have a real job to support your family.
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Old 12-04-2013, 03:02 PM
 
1,374 posts, read 852,698 times
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Are you that thirsty for the money? If not your child is more important. I have read so much tomfoolery about people enlisting and later losing their kids when they come back.
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Old 12-04-2013, 05:44 PM
 
Location: Where I'm At
539 posts, read 337,420 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ralph_Kirk View Post
The husbands of the military women who worked for me were always sources of problems for their wives. The military women working for me were always top-notch, but their husbands were universally jerks at being military dependent spouses.
I hope you're reading this OP; there's a clue in there somewhere, so I hope you're paying attention. Your husband already sounds like one of these guys (no offense), and you're not even in the military yet.

Just out of curiosity, is your husband prior service with the military including the Reserves or is he 100% civilian? If he's prior service, which branch and how long?
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Old 12-04-2013, 11:02 PM
 
1,657 posts, read 1,814,226 times
Reputation: 658
Quote:
Originally Posted by da808gypsy View Post
Can I enlist with a kid? I'm 20 , my son is 6 months. I plan on enlisting in a year or two. I was officially going to go in last year but fell pregnant at the time I was talking to recruiters again. I don't know what branch. My dh wants me to do air force but I want to do army. My mom was in the navy but I hate ships, and I'm nut crazy enough for the marines. Plus dh say I'd if I enlisted into the marines I'd be single. Sounds like a scare tactic but I think he doesn't want them to change me into one of them. Same goes for army. I think he thinks the only way for me to still keep some part of myself is to enlist into the af. Back on track: can I enlist with a child?
Yes, you can enlist with a chile...

Big question what type of career do you have in mind... Some branches are better than others in this regards.
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Old 12-07-2013, 03:28 AM
 
Location: Middle of the desert
1,344 posts, read 925,234 times
Reputation: 2532
Quote:
Originally Posted by da808gypsy View Post
Can I enlist with a kid? I'm 20 , my son is 6 months. I plan on enlisting in a year or two. I was officially going to go in last year but fell pregnant at the time I was talking to recruiters again. I don't know what branch. My dh wants me to do air force but I want to do army. My mom was in the navy but I hate ships, and I'm nut crazy enough for the marines. Plus dh say I'd if I enlisted into the marines I'd be single. Sounds like a scare tactic but I think he doesn't want them to change me into one of them. Same goes for army. I think he thinks the only way for me to still keep some part of myself is to enlist into the af. Back on track: can I enlist with a child?
Of course you can enlist, if you couldn't enlist with a child, there wouldn't be many people in the military. LOL

Bottom line up front: why? He wants you to do AF while you want Army? What are your reasonings? This is the gist of what I get when people are told to join the AF: they think that there is no combat related to AF so it's a safer branch. If you believe that, then there is no helping you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ralph_Kirk View Post
I wouldn't expect the other services to be any slacker than this, but in the USAF, if you are a single parent you have to give them a plan for the care of your child in any instance that you might be called to duty, everything from suddenly having to work an extended shift to having to report for a 6-month deployment within 24 hours to having to report for a remote PCS (more than 6 months).
In the Army, we see a lot of people use the single parent angle to get out of deployment. Hey, they want the benefits but don't want the sacrifice.

Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
I don't agree with moms in the military.

I was a military wife and I also have worked at a daycare near the base. I have seen how much children suffer when one of their parents were deployed. Horrible, just horrible. They don't understand why mom or dad just leaves them out of nowhere. And when they finally accept it, then the parent comes back ...

Stop FALLING pregnant if you don't have a real job to support your family.
My sister is in the Army as well and has 3 kids. Last time she deployed, her husband watched all 3 kids as best as he could. But the kids really need both parents. Her oldest once said to her, "I hate the Army..."

I had a Soldier get out a couple of years ago, I asked him if he had considered staying and he said no. Personally, I don't try to talk guys into staying in no matter how bad I want them to stay because I know that these guys have served our country and just want to get on to the next phase of their life. He says to me, "I've spent more time deployed than the years my daughter has been alive. When I was home on leave, she didn't want to be near me because I was a stranger to her..."

Quote:
Originally Posted by clevergirl05 View Post
I hope you're reading this OP; there's a clue in there somewhere, so I hope you're paying attention. Your husband already sounds like one of these guys (no offense), and you're not even in the military yet.

Just out of curiosity, is your husband prior service with the military including the Reserves or is he 100% civilian? If he's prior service, which branch and how long?
Sounds way too controlling. Unless he fulfilled an active duty contract, I wouldn't take what he says for anything worth much.
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