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Old 04-19-2014, 09:25 PM
 
6,319 posts, read 5,363,024 times
Reputation: 11913

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Quote:
Originally Posted by PAinSC View Post
So, I'm a mil spouse and I'm definitely not saying ALL spouses are like this but I have seen my fair share of those who think they are entitled to way too much because they are married to a service member.

For instance, they want discounts at numerous stores, they get mad if the MP doesn't salute them (officer wives), but mostly, it's just places that won't hand them out a deal because THEY aren't the service member.

What do you think of this? Personally, wives should be grateful if anywhere gives them a discount. They HAVE NOT served. I don't see many places offering police/firemen wives discounts.
You sound really jealous.

The troops at home are just as important, in fact possibly more so.

How would the war be fought, if those soldiers had to stay home to take care of their own kids because the spouse had disappeared?

There would be no Army, the entire structure would collapse.

Working in the home is STILL WORK. Losing your spouse/co parent to war is still a sacrifice, temporary or not.

Firemen and policemen usually get to go home at night. Army is 24/7, for everyone.

 
Old 04-19-2014, 10:39 PM
 
8,768 posts, read 10,329,110 times
Reputation: 13822
Quote:
Originally Posted by cindersslipper View Post
You sound really jealous.

The troops at home are just as important, in fact possibly more so.

How would the war be fought, if those soldiers had to stay home to take care of their own kids because the spouse had disappeared?

There would be no Army, the entire structure would collapse.

Working in the home is STILL WORK. Losing your spouse/co parent to war is still a sacrifice, temporary or not.

Firemen and policemen usually get to go home at night. Army is 24/7, for everyone.
I think you're making the OP's point.
 
Old 04-19-2014, 11:56 PM
 
4,424 posts, read 5,203,983 times
Reputation: 6479
As a person who lives in a military town, the whole military wife entitlement is quite common around here.
 
Old 04-20-2014, 04:37 AM
 
Location: 5 Miles to the Beach
1,403 posts, read 1,976,522 times
Reputation: 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rabrrita View Post
I think you're making the OP's point.
Haha. Exactly. I'm not jealous at all actually. I keep a distance from spouses. I learned after my husband's 3rd deployment that quite a few in his battalion loved drama. You know what one wife did to me? Called me and wished death on my husband and she hoped he would get blown up and a bullet through his head...WHILE HE WAS DEPLOYED. She obviously has a lot of time on her hands to be making calls like that (to go back to saying how spouses are working 24/7)...especially when one call was first thing New Years Day and another was in the middle of the night a few days later. What a sick individual.

Nope. Not jealous at all with how some of these spouses act. Just because you marry a service member doesn't mean you should get an award IMHO. You support your husband as if he were in any other career. My husband is about to be a contractor. So, he's going to be gone for a longer time period than when he was on one deployment in the service but I won't be receiving mil discounts anymore. Guess what? I don't care. I will still treat him as if he were in any other career and just be glad that he is doing something he loves. My husband and I don't like to brag about what he does military speaking. That's not why he set to join...to let everyone in the world know he's a Marine. So I'm going to do the same and just be thankful if a place decides to give me a discount. If they do great, if not, that's ok too.

Last edited by PAinSC; 04-20-2014 at 04:58 AM..
 
Old 04-20-2014, 06:22 AM
 
10,374 posts, read 7,467,722 times
Reputation: 18298
Some branches teach "salute all blue stickers" but really, now that stickers aren't issued any more there's a bit of a sticky wicket, isn't there? (did I use that correctly?)

It's not all wives, just some. Also military members are to be responsible for their dependents' behavior so perhaps the actual military person fosters this attitude? Maybe?

There are jackasses in every rank.
 
Old 04-20-2014, 08:27 AM
 
Location: Former LI'er Now a Rehoboth Beach Bunny
7,243 posts, read 9,588,980 times
Reputation: 6902
Years ago in another life, I was a military wife. (Late 70's) My first experience and the wife of the commander had a policy of taking every newbie wife under her wing to dispel the myths and have to's of military life. No you don't need calling cards she told me (contrary to what my non military MIL insisted), yes, as an officers wife there were different standards set for you because everything you did could influence the career path of your husband and you are not the service member, you are a dependent and as such, any benefits you get are there because of whom you are married to. If you keep these basics in mind you will make a fine military wife.

I think her message was one of not getting too big for your britches but enjoy life. As with anything in life, if you demand it, you might get it begrudgingly, but it is always better to get it because you are nice.
 
Old 04-20-2014, 08:42 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
31,385 posts, read 18,420,530 times
Reputation: 12142
Quote:
Originally Posted by PAinSC View Post
So, I'm a mil spouse and I'm definitely not saying ALL spouses are like this but I have seen my fair share of those who think they are entitled to way too much because they are married to a service member.

For instance, they want discounts at numerous stores, they get mad if the MP doesn't salute them (officer wives), but mostly, it's just places that won't hand them out a deal because THEY aren't the service member.

What do you think of this? Personally, wives should be grateful if anywhere gives them a discount. They HAVE NOT served. I don't see many places offering police/firemen wives discounts.
I think this is an interesting discussion and you obviously don't have sense of entitlement issues.

As a retailer whose family owns several stores in the shopping mall, I would like to share some thoughts.

It is very obvious that military is a very unique occupation (for lack of a better word), Some people are pointing fingers at those "awful entitlement people who would dare ask for a discount." then you get the comments about spouses and how they can ruin service members image by their terrible attitudes.

I can tell you that nobody has ever asked me for a discount UNLESS I ADVERTISE IT. I just wish we could all breathe and realize that there are times when we ALL need to re-evaluate our attitudes about things. Giving military discount has always been our stores policy and many chain stores in the malls give 10% to 20% discount. We give these discount to military families. IF they show valid military ID, spouse ID or even expired military ID, we will give these discounts to them. How many times do you see active duty military men shop at stores? It has always been the spouses. To deny spouses discount, you might just as well deny military discount.

I am at a point where I put "we give military discount " next to cash register in all our stores. This is my way to show a little gratitude to the military families because I would like to believe military families are just like any other families.

It has always been the wives who asked me "Do you offer military discount" when they were unsure about our store policy because they are the people who do the shopping. I don't believe this is "sense of entitlement issue" I just think these wives are being smart shoppers, just like anybody else.

I personally haven't experienced this, but if ( hypothically speaking) somebody "expect" me to give them a discount and boycott our business for not giving them one just because they have "served" in the military, that attitude will turn me off immediately. But I haven't seen any of these sense of entitlement attitude from military families.

Having said all that, Anyone who is associated with the military knows that the idea of a military wife “wearing” her husband’s rank is not a new one and has been a problem for a long time. Maybe this article can answer some of your questions.

A Salute to the Military Wife?

However, A few bad apples SHOULD NOT spoil the bunch.

By the way, we (as retailers) do give yearly donations to the local police department. We have other ways to show appreciation to firefighters and police officers. The only thing we give military families is really just store discounts.
 
Old 04-20-2014, 08:45 AM
 
Location: Middle America
35,817 posts, read 39,334,463 times
Reputation: 48613
Quote:
Originally Posted by PAinSC View Post
Haha. Exactly. I'm not jealous at all actually. I keep a distance from spouses. I learned after my husband's 3rd deployment that quite a few in his battalion loved drama. You know what one wife did to me? Called me and wished death on my husband and she hoped he would get blown up and a bullet through his head...WHILE HE WAS DEPLOYED. She obviously has a lot of time on her hands to be making calls like that (to go back to saying how spouses are working 24/7)...especially when one call was first thing New Years Day and another was in the middle of the night a few days later. What a sick individual.

Nope. Not jealous at all with how some of these spouses act. Just because you marry a service member doesn't mean you should get an award IMHO. You support your husband as if he were in any other career. My husband is about to be a contractor. So, he's going to be gone for a longer time period than when he was on one deployment in the service but I won't be receiving mil discounts anymore. Guess what? I don't care. I will still treat him as if he were in any other career and just be glad that he is doing something he loves. My husband and I don't like to brag about what he does military speaking. That's not why he set to join...to let everyone in the world know he's a Marine. So I'm going to do the same and just be thankful if a place decides to give me a discount. If they do great, if not, that's ok too.
We don't have much/any drama, here, but the tradeoff is that we also don't have much of a community. The few spouses there are are pretty spread out.

Also, I never receive military discounts (other than the tax-free shopping at the exchange and commissary). My husband gets them, but I don't. I've never asked, nor do I plan to. Edit, just remembered: Well, once, a shoe store sales clerk gave me a discount, because I was with my husband (then-fiance), and he was in dress blues, just having come from performing funeral honors. I didn't ask for it, and was surprised when it was given. Very surprised.
 
Old 04-20-2014, 10:37 AM
 
Location: 5 Miles to the Beach
1,403 posts, read 1,976,522 times
Reputation: 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
I think this is an interesting discussion and you obviously don't have sense of entitlement issues.

As a retailer whose family owns several stores in the shopping mall, I would like to share some thoughts.

It is very obvious that military is a very unique occupation (for lack of a better word), Some people are pointing fingers at those "awful entitlement people who would dare ask for a discount." then you get the comments about spouses and how they can ruin service members image by their terrible attitudes.

I can tell you that nobody has ever asked me for a discount UNLESS I ADVERTISE IT. I just wish we could all breathe and realize that there are times when we ALL need to re-evaluate our attitudes about things. Giving military discount has always been our stores policy and many chain stores in the malls give 10% to 20% discount. We give these discount to military families. IF they show valid military ID, spouse ID or even expired military ID, we will give these discounts to them. How many times do you see active duty military men shop at stores? It has always been the spouses. To deny spouses discount, you might just as well deny military discount.

I am at a point where I put "we give military discount " next to cash register in all our stores. This is my way to show a little gratitude to the military families because I would like to believe military families are just like any other families.

It has always been the wives who asked me "Do you offer military discount" when they were unsure about our store policy because they are the people who do the shopping. I don't believe this is "sense of entitlement issue" I just think these wives are being smart shoppers, just like anybody else.

I personally haven't experienced this, but if ( hypothically speaking) somebody "expect" me to give them a discount and boycott our business for not giving them one just because they have "served" in the military, that attitude will turn me off immediately. But I haven't seen any of these sense of entitlement attitude from military families.

Having said all that, Anyone who is associated with the military knows that the idea of a military wife “wearing” her husband’s rank is not a new one and has been a problem for a long time. Maybe this article can answer some of your questions.

A Salute to the Military Wife?

However, A few bad apples SHOULD NOT spoil the bunch.

By the way, we (as retailers) do give yearly donations to the local police department. We have other ways to show appreciation to firefighters and police officers. The only thing we give military families is really just store discounts.
I was referring to those spouses who get mad and actually freak out on a business (I've heard of several wives doing this) when they don't get a hand out or a discount. I don't think anyone in this discussion has pointed fingers at anyone, though, because I know not all wives are like this.
 
Old 04-20-2014, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
31,385 posts, read 18,420,530 times
Reputation: 12142
Quote:
Originally Posted by PAinSC View Post
I was referring to those spouses who get mad and actually freak out on a business (I've heard of several wives doing this) when they don't get a hand out or a discount. I don't think anyone in this discussion has pointed fingers at anyone, though, because I know not all wives are like this.
I understand that. I was not "accusing" you of anything either.

I was just letting you know from a civilian/retailers perspective, spouse discount = military discount. That is all.

Quite frankly, retailers give a lot to the police department. Store discount is just about the only thing we give to the military families.

well, I did offer you a link to explain the "sense of entitlement" issue of military spouse, I agree with ya in that regard.
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