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Thank you for all of your comments. He has called me yesterday and is going to turn himself in by Monday. It does make me angry at the army. He should have never graduated OSUT. It was obvious he wasn't cut then: he was underweight going in and became even more underweight, he failed numerous pt tests throughout, didn't pass grenade test the first time, never took the 12 mike ruck march which is a requirement for graduation, and then failed his last pt tests. He also had put in a request to speak to a chaplain because he was depressed and thinking of awoling during OSUT....and the request went unanswered! He was told he couldn't graduate and we even got the phone call that he wasn't! This his sergeants had a change of heart and told him because he never was a problem, he'll graduate him.
I know you are angry but don't blame the army for YOUR family's mistakes. You raised your son for 18 years and it was your responsibility as a parent to help him put together a life plan.
If he wasn't prepared to go to college, he had other options. Did he look into community college, a technical or trade school, or even just getting a normal job and starting small. People without college degrees live perfectly normal lives without joining the military.
It sounds like this situation will eventually work itself out. Once he comes home, what is he going to do then? He still needs to decide on a life plan.
Hey, Mrs. B. It really depends on the kind of command he has. I haven't read all these posts but I hope and pray he can call asap. Sometimes commanders have a lot more compassion than we give them credit for. They have leeway so all is not lost but he HAS to call. They can charge him advance leave for the time missed. He might have messed up joining but that doesn't mean he has to mess up any more.
I hope you contact him soon. I know you must be worried sick. It's not as bad as it seems. He needs to call his POC at the unit.
I hope he gives the Army a chance. January I started working with the Army Reserves after being a Marine and an AF Guard retiree, then working with the Navy as a civilian. I was pleasantly surprised at the Army, after all the years of badmouthing them.
Thank you for all of your comments. He has called me yesterday and is going to turn himself in by Monday. It does make me angry at the army. He should have never graduated OSUT. It was obvious he wasn't cut then: he was underweight going in and became even more underweight, he failed numerous pt tests throughout, didn't pass grenade test the first time, never took the 12 mike ruck march which is a requirement for graduation, and then failed his last pt tests. He also had put in a request to speak to a chaplain because he was depressed and thinking of awoling during OSUT....and the request went unanswered! He was told he couldn't graduate and we even got the phone call that he wasn't! This his sergeants had a change of heart and told him because he never was a problem, he'll graduate him.
So he's shown struggle throughout OSUT, wasn't eligible for graduation, yet graduated him. This should show he is not cut out for army life. I totally disagree with him going awol....but he should have been cut during OSUT and it not even coming to this.
My heart is breaking. I am hoping that this is not something to ruin his life- I know it's at the company's discretion as to the punishment.i hope my son can state his case, take his punishment, and it not be a life long black mark. I don't know how that's possible, but I hope it happens. He choose the army, went in thinking he could do it, prove throughout OSUT that he couldn't do it, but they passed him along. So sad
What a relief that he got in touch.
I hope you are able to get past your anger at the Army. There are likely many who didn't do well in basic and yet went on to be excellent soldiers. The sergeants just do the best they can. Like we all do.
A lot of young people try things that turn out to be a poor idea. How else are you going to know what you're made of if we don't try some hard stuff.
Your son is safe. Focus on that. Many get out of the service and go on to live honorable, productive lives. I bet your son will too.
Henry Kissenger pretty much flunked all that stuff, too.
I'm SOOO glad he got in touch. Look. It's a job. It's going to offer a TON of educational benefits and the resume gods will now smile down upon him. If he can just hang in there. Prayers for good people surrounding him.
There are many stories of those that cannot cut it at those early ages even today 18 is considered an Adult in reality NOPE.
In 1950 Calif National Guard was activated (I was one of them) to Camp Cook.
We had this young kid (turned out to be 16) and while pulling KP and his head inside a garbage can and scrubbing it decide this was NOT FOR HIM. I also was there with him so the facts are TRUE.
He started crying like a baby that he was only 16 Bla Bla Bla so the 1st Sgt had him confined to the barracks (my upper floor) with a Cpl to watch over him.
They called the phone number he gave and in a couple of days his mother came and he was GONE.
Time marches on.........
About a yr+ later this kid turns 17+ where he joins the Marines at San Diego.
Upon completion of Basic Training this kid decides to Rob a Liquor store in Oceanside and gets 2 yrs behind bars.
All I can say is he was out of my Barracks, my Floor, my Unit, my Batt, my Div and was nothing but a LOSER.
Here is something a Mom in your shoes needs to know: The difference between AWOL and deserter is the thirtieth day. Under 30 days equals a problem. Over thirty days equals a federal offense. If you get in touch with your son, let him know that. Go back and face the music within 30 days or face a lifetime with a federal criminal record. Pretty simple equation.
I got out as a company grade commander back in '92, but back then we simply discharged a soldier who just couldn't hack it in the first six months. "Failure to adapt" is my recollection of what we called it. A general discharge under honorable conditions. Wasn't that hard. And it certainly wasn't life-altering for the kid who wasn't adjusting.
I'm not going to pry into what his problem(s) is/are with the military - that's between him, his defense counsel and his God. But he needs to know that as bad as it seems now, it gets exponentially worse for him after thirty days. And it becomes, to varying degrees, irreversible.
Sorry for the reality dose, but you - and he - need to know it.
I saw dozens who at first didn't fit the military but at a point suddenly just grew into it.Its that way for many growing up in experiences. They suddenly become what is typically called a man. OP; its not the Army fault at all.
Im glad you got in touch- now tell him to call GI Rights and he will be ok. It wont haunt him or follow him around like a shadow.
Theres NOTHING to be ashamed of. He tried and it didnt work.
Okay, that is appeasing. "NOTHING" to be ashamed of? He will get over it after a long time, but there most assuredly is something there to be ashamed of. And that is why it will take him a good long while to have it be water under the bridge. Not everyone gets a participation medal. And best of luck to him--sincerely!
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