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Old 03-15-2017, 11:18 AM
 
3 posts, read 630 times
Reputation: 10

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So I am trying to enlist in the Navy and just crossed a road block. I was married about 5 years ago to someone in the Marines, which ended very quickly due to him cheating. He then got discharged and moved back home to Utah and upon that happening we were told by the family friend that married us that our marriage may have never been valid because they didn't go file it with the county. I Googled it and that's exactly what I found out. So I've counted it as never being married. Now that I am enlisting I decided to go to the county clerks office and ITS FILED and recorded! My plan was for my boyfriend I've been with since then to get married before I sign my enlistment papers and now I have no idea what to do. In California there is a 6 month wait for divorces to be considered finalized and my plan was to ship to boot camp the earliest possible date. What can I do? Do I stay married and enlist and then deal with a divorce later? Him and I are on good terms and he's getting BAH while going to flight school, but who knows. Could this effect me in any way negatively? Will the Navy be able to see this marriage on file and need any information from him? Do I have to list him as a dependent? Should I talk to my recruiter about this or avoid this convo until I figure this out? HELP!!
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Old 03-15-2017, 11:21 AM
 
3 posts, read 630 times
Reputation: 10
The worst part about it is my boyfriend and I wanted to be married before I went so he has benefits and is taken care of and now I'm not sure that can even happen. By the way, my ex and I have no kids together.
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Old 03-15-2017, 07:33 PM
 
Location: San Antonio
2,777 posts, read 7,735,864 times
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1. You can't enlist if you are undergoing a divorce. It's a disqualification. This is in case it gets messy, and you have to go before a judge and you're in basic training or job training. You either have to stay married, or get divorced and wait until the divorce is final.

2. Your husband has been collecting BAH without supporting you. That's considered to be fraud and he can get in a lot of trouble if he's claiming a spouse in the cicumstances you are saying. But I don't understand why he is getting BAH if he was discharged?

3. This is a personal decision, but you obviously can't marry your boyfriend until this is cleared up.

4. Due to the misunderstandings, an annulment might be possible, but they're very tough to come by.

5. Check your state laws again. Most of the time the 6 month waiting period is that you have to live apart for 6 months. You've met that requirement. Check the wording, you might be OK here.
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Old 03-15-2017, 08:13 PM
 
3,876 posts, read 2,653,289 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dmarie123 View Post
1. You can't enlist if you are undergoing a divorce. It's a disqualification. This is in case it gets messy, and you have to go before a judge and you're in basic training or job training. You either have to stay married, or get divorced and wait until the divorce is final.

2. Your husband has been collecting BAH without supporting you. That's considered to be fraud and he can get in a lot of trouble if he's claiming a spouse in the cicumstances you are saying. But I don't understand why he is getting BAH if he was discharged?

3. This is a personal decision, but you obviously can't marry your boyfriend until this is cleared up.

4. Due to the misunderstandings, an annulment might be possible, but they're very tough to come by.

5. Check your state laws again. Most of the time the 6 month waiting period is that you have to live apart for 6 months. You've met that requirement. Check the wording, you might be OK here.
She said he was getting BAH while going to flight school. Whatever that means. Or who. Not sure if she means the current boyfriend or the husband.
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Old 03-15-2017, 08:37 PM
 
4,622 posts, read 6,245,081 times
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If it were me I'd get the divorce first. Since you've been apart maybe it will go faster. Either way I wouldn't want this hanging over my head while I was starting a new chapter in my life.
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Old 03-15-2017, 09:08 PM
 
3,876 posts, read 2,653,289 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spazkat9696 View Post
If it were me I'd get the divorce first. Since you've been apart maybe it will go faster. Either way I wouldn't want this hanging over my head while I was starting a new chapter in my life.
I agree!
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Old 03-16-2017, 11:44 AM
 
3 posts, read 630 times
Reputation: 10
Because we thought we were never legally married since it supposedly wasn't filed, he got out honorably after serving his contract and went home to attend flight school where he has remained. He is using his GI Bill paying for school and filed for BAH as Single since that's what we believed we were. I only went to he county clerks office to get proof so before I start my process of paperwork I make sure I am being accurate because obviously a marriage with a Marine is going to pop up as I was on his medical etc.
unfortunately, California is strict in the fact that once you file for a divorce (whether living together or not) it is not considered finalized for 6 months. My recruiter recommended going in married and dealing with the divorce after boot camp. He said I would get my own BAH with my current dependent and my ex would get his single BAH thru the VA while utilizing his GI Bill and that we shouldn't effect one another but I am looking for more reassurance on this. Does anyone know how that works when 1 person is active with a child dependent and the other is a veteran utilizing their GI Bill and getting BAH in another state??
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Old 03-16-2017, 12:08 PM
 
8,308 posts, read 12,574,473 times
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Where is the child dependent coming from?

IMO your recruiter is simply trying to get a pair of boots into basic training. This issue needs to be a done deal and put to bed before you ship.
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Old 03-16-2017, 04:19 PM
 
3,876 posts, read 2,653,289 times
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It's really not BAH. The monthly allowance is based on the BAH for the location of his school.
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Old 03-16-2017, 04:21 PM
 
3,876 posts, read 2,653,289 times
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Your Monthly Housing Allowance (MHA) is generally the same as the military Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH) for an E-5 with dependents. Your MHA is based on the ZIP code for your school. MHA rate increases based on BAH increases are effective August 1 (the beginning date of the academic year).

From the VA website.
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