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Old 06-26-2017, 04:36 AM
 
28 posts, read 13,106 times
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Quick overview: I'm 23 my husband is 23. He recently got his universal HVAC certification. We have 3 children (3 going on 4, 2 going on 3, and 1 month baby). Recently my husband has decided to try for Coast Guard and work in his field mainly to secure our childrens and our future. I'm completely against I have so much negative view about the military it has been a battle b/t us. I feel like I didn't get married not to have a husband physical there and I'm willing to take time to build and grow. I'm almost done with my nursing for LPN, so I have plenty faith we will be financially stable in time. I'm scared out of my mind something will happen and he won't get station near home he is considering active. The research I've done and reviews I have seen about the toll it takes on couples and families did not help. If anyone has any insight good and bad please give me info.
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Old 06-26-2017, 07:26 AM
 
4,684 posts, read 5,270,919 times
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OP

You are 23 with 3 small children. Your current financial footing is shaky with hopes to improve. You are scared and maybe a little hormonally emotional. The unknown is scary. Between your kids, life and school your hands are full.

Your husband is 23 and trying to give a good life and a future to his wife and 3 children. His heart is in the right place.

What your husband is proposing is not radical and is a story repeated time and again...because it works.

My suggestion is you focus on getting yourself through LPN training. Let him pursue the CG as far as it will go. Even if he is admitted, he will have a fairly long training period where you can stay home and finish your studies. Then you can join him and both use your newly earned certificates to better your lives in an exciting new place.

IMO support him in his effort. Get your certificate. Take opportunities in the future. At 33 with middle school kids you will be glad you did.

You may even like the life and not want to leave. You wouldn't be the first reluctant wife who changed her mind. We women have that prerogative 😉
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Old 06-26-2017, 07:29 AM
 
5,162 posts, read 6,849,493 times
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My husband was in the USMC. I supported it 100%. You're young, and should take the time to enjoy living different places. Why would you want to be stuck in the same place? I'll leave it at that, but you really should support him. Marriage is give and take. You have to consider that you're not the only one in the relationship and his wants and needs matter too.
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Old 06-26-2017, 08:12 AM
 
Location: San Antonio
2,877 posts, read 8,299,034 times
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1. If you don't support it, your husband will resent you and anger will fester.
2. If he moves away from home, MOVE WITH HIM.
3. I'm in the military, I'm enlisted. I make about $75K a year, free health care for the whole family, dental covers everything for $12 a month, life insurance, retirement in 20 years without having to contribute, free college and FREE COLLEGE FOR MY CHILDREN with the Post 9-11 GI Bill.

It's normal to be scared, but life is good for families!
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Old 06-26-2017, 08:58 AM
 
Location: New Mexico U.S.A.
23,012 posts, read 35,261,300 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kbaker2 View Post
If anyone has any insight good and bad please give me info.
You got three good replies from three women who know what they are talking about...

I can not add much. My wife of 45+ years hung in there with me. Our kids still talk out the places they lived. I served 22 years and am now still enjoying life...
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Old 06-26-2017, 10:27 AM
 
620 posts, read 652,075 times
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My parents got married in Buffalo New York in 1955. My dad was Airforce and where ever he went, my mother went. My brother in fact was born on Okinawa. It didn't hurt us kids to travel. We lived in San Antonio, Okinawa, back to San Antonio then Alaska, Fort george Meade ,Maryland (dad was stationed at NSA) and then back to texas where he retired. We got to go places and see things and people we never would have met if we had stayed in one place.In Alaska, one of our favorite places to eat was Nikko Gardens, popular with Japanese businessmen.I can actually say we drove the ALCan Highway . We got to Springfield,Ill. and saw the home of Abraham Lincoln and his tomb. When we went to New York on our way to Maryland we got to stop at Fort Niagra and walk around.
We were in Maryland when the VietNam War protests were going on. Somehow, my junior highschool and other DC area schools managed to go to the Capital, see the US Mint, and even get a brief bit of time at the Smithsonian.
You should go where ever your husband gets stationed, and the kids will be exposed to new sights and even have fun.
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Old 06-26-2017, 04:49 PM
 
28 posts, read 13,106 times
Reputation: 28
Thank you all so much for your information. I realize today everything you'll have said. Once I sat back and try to be positive I realized the once in a lifetime chance our family is getting. I can say I am now on board it just too some getting use to for me
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Old 06-26-2017, 11:29 PM
 
332 posts, read 378,551 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fritos56 View Post
My parents got married in Buffalo New York in 1955. My dad was Airforce and where ever he went, my mother went. My brother in fact was born on Okinawa. It didn't hurt us kids to travel. We lived in San Antonio, Okinawa, back to San Antonio then Alaska, Fort george Meade ,Maryland (dad was stationed at NSA) and then back to texas where he retired. We got to go places and see things and people we never would have met if we had stayed in one place.In Alaska, one of our favorite places to eat was Nikko Gardens, popular with Japanese businessmen.I can actually say we drove the ALCan Highway . We got to Springfield,Ill. and saw the home of Abraham Lincoln and his tomb. When we went to New York on our way to Maryland we got to stop at Fort Niagra and walk around.
We were in Maryland when the VietNam War protests were going on. Somehow, my junior highschool and other DC area schools managed to go to the Capital, see the US Mint, and even get a brief bit of time at the Smithsonian.
You should go where ever your husband gets stationed, and the kids will be exposed to new sights and even have fun.
I lived at Ft. Meade from '72 to '74. Any chance you were there then? Dad was also NSA.
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Old 07-08-2017, 11:46 AM
 
1,019 posts, read 320,508 times
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I think part of it OP is fear of the unknown. It sounds like you don't have any family or close friends that are military. I would think there'd be some sort of recruitment with both the husband and spouse together - To ask questions and reassure. Weren't you a part of something like that? If not, how about your husband bringing it up and set something up? You're right, it's hard to get on board when hearing everything second hand or just reading a pamphlet.
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Old 07-08-2017, 08:40 PM
 
351 posts, read 688,032 times
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OP, it looks like you are on board now with your husbands decision but I just wanted to say that when my husband was in the Army, we had opportunities to live all over and make friends from all over. The military community is large but small. By that I mean everyone in the military is away from their extended family and hometowns so you become close to each other and learn to rely on each other. It is really tough when your spouse is away for long periods of time. But you will make it work. As long as your marriage is stable, you will be ok. I look back fondly on my husband's time in the Army.
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