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Old 01-21-2018, 04:10 PM
 
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I was in the Marine Corp and there weren't a lot of funny stories, though I can think of some stuff that makes me smile.

HOWEVER I had a friend who went through before I did and she said she'd come back from breakfast, stick her finger down her throat and throw up. The DIs were required to call an ambulance. The ambulance would pick her up and they'd go party most of the day. She'd come back trashed. Once she did some acid and couldn't stop laughing. Her DI made her stand in front of the bathroom mirror and laugh at herself. That's one of my all-time favorite WRTC Parris Island stories. (that was before drug testing. My platoon was the first to pee in a bottle)
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Old 02-07-2018, 11:05 PM
 
Location: Colorado
1,693 posts, read 1,037,665 times
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I have a couple, but my all-time favorite....

This was early in Basic Training, at the 'scaring the snot out of you' stage. We got woken up at 2 a.m. and dragged outside to do PT. It's January, it's the middle of the night, the majority of us were 18 or 19 years old, away from home for the first time, and between the cold, homesickness, the shock of being woken up like that and getting yelled at to do exercises and thinking at that moment we'd made the WORST mistake of our lives, there was plenty of sniffling and sobbing. (And I will own up to being one of them.)

I was in formation next to tiny little Private B., who was NOT sniffling and crying. And our DI was going through the formation as he put us through the motions, yelling at us. And we were doing side-straddle hops when he passed by Private B. and noticed she wasn't showing any signs of distress.

So he gets into her face and yells out, "PRIVATE B!"

And Private B. freezes in the middle of a side-straddle hop. You ever see that picture of da Vinci's "Vitruvian Man"? Like that. I think she panicked and just couldn't remember if she was supposed to come to attention or continue with the exercise. Either way, she's there, arms and legs splayed out, and squeaking out, "Yes, Drill Sergeant!"

DI: "AREN'T YOU COLD PRIVATE B.?"

Private B (looking confused and panicky and still squeaking): "No, Drill Sergeant?"

DI: "WHAT DID YOU SAY, PRIVATE B?"

Private B: "No, Drill Sergeant!"

DI: "YOU BETTER SOUND OFF, PRIVATE B!"

Private B: "NO, DRILL SERGEANT!"

DI: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT COLD, PRIVATE B? EVERYBODY ELSE HERE IS WHINING AND BOO-HOOING THAT THEY'RE SO COLD, AND YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU'RE NOT COLD? WHY AREN'T YOU COLD, PRIVATE B?"

Private B: "DRILL SERGEANT! I AM AN ESKIMO FROM ALASKA!"

......ladies and gentlemen....I lost it. I went from sobbing to giggling hysterically in a split second. Private B looked even *more* panicked (if that were even possible), and the DI ducked his head and pulled on the brim of his Smokey and pulled it over his face a little, shaking his head. For the sake of not getting myself permanently banned from CD, I am going to slightly alter the DI's language in the following (but you'll all be able to figure out what really got said....)

DI: "Goshdarnit.....just....goshdarnit....goshdarn Eskimo from goshdarn Alaska my goshdarn black butt. Private B, you get back to the barracks and you take goshdarn giggling Private Cardinal (side note--this is what he wound up calling me the rest of basic) with you! Goshdarn privates messing up my goshdarn formation--I'll goshdarn Eskimo from Alaska YOU, Private B! You stop that giggling, goshdarn giggling Private Cardinal! You two just get out of here! I don't even want to SEE you!" (We scramble to get out of formation and back to the barracks as ordered, all the time hearing him mutter) "Goshdarn Eskimos, Goshdarn Alaska, Goshdarn Privates--I DIDN'T SAY FOR THE REST OF YOU TO STOP!" (Goes back to making the rest of the company do exercises.) I am *still* giggling uncontrollably all the way back to the barracks, and I finally get them under control just as we reach our bunks, when Private B., *still* looking panicky, asks....

"Do you think I'm in trouble for what I said?"

And I lost it again. I was still laughing when the rest of the company was finally brought back in. The DI saw me, just shook his head, and said, "You got issues, Cardinal." But he let it go.

I honestly suspect he'd been trying to do his best to not break out laughing himself.

(And for the record, she really *was* an Eskimo from Alaska.)
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Old 02-08-2018, 05:28 AM
 
Location: Hawaii/Alabama
1,595 posts, read 2,969,104 times
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So, we were in USD training and the instructor wanted to demonstrate the goose neck come along, which involves cranking down hard on the wrist.

He surveys us and wants me to get on the platform so he could make me cry out (I was 103 lbs then), he totally ignored the 3 male platoons.

So, I get up there and he positions me to give the other trainees the best view and cranks down hard. Nothing happens. I have no reaction and deprive him of his expected scream of pain. He tries again with the same result. He tries my other wrist - nothing.

He is getting pissed, so I very loudly and clearly told him, "Sergeant, I am double jointed!". The entire place went up in laughter and I was instructed to get the hell off his platform. USD was so much fun for me, and soooo frustrating for my sparring partners and instructors.
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Old 02-08-2018, 01:39 PM
 
5,445 posts, read 4,398,223 times
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I'm pretty sure every Marine went through something like this at one point in boot camp, but when I went through it, it was some of the funniest stuff to happen.


We messed up somehow, I can't recall exactly what we did, but we messed up pretty bad. Next thing you know, we are all emptying our foot lockers in front of us. Then we were told to pick up everything including our footlockers and throw it into the middle of the squad bay. The DI instructed the guide to grab our guidon and 'plant' it in the middle of the pile. He then said, "look platoon, it is Mount Suribachi! My squadbay is now a f***ing historical landmark. We should charge admission for this ***** because I'm sure as hell not paid enough to put up with all your stupidity."

Last edited by headingtoDenver; 02-08-2018 at 01:55 PM..
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Old 02-08-2018, 07:57 PM
Status: "Living the good retired life." (set 28 days ago)
 
Location: Wasilla, AK
5,873 posts, read 3,148,828 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by headingtoDenver View Post
I'm pretty sure every Marine went through something like this at one point in boot camp, but when I went through it, it was some of the funniest stuff to happen.


We messed up somehow, I can't recall exactly what we did, but we messed up pretty bad. Next thing you know, we are all emptying our foot lockers in front of us. Then we were told to pick up everything including our footlockers and throw it into the middle of the squad bay. The DI instructed the guide to grab our guidon and 'plant' it in the middle of the pile. He then said, "look platoon, it is Mount Suribachi! My squadbay is now a f***ing historical landmark. We should charge admission for this ***** because I'm sure as hell not paid enough to put up with all your stupidity."

When I went through MCRD San Diego they would just dump everything out while we were at chow. It's done to every platoon. Your DIs were just a little more creative!


As for Mt Suribachi, I actually got to go to the top of Mt Suribachi. We took a group of sailors to Iwo Jima for some sort of exercise. So we took the opportunity to go to the top and see the memorial for ourselves. Pretty humbling experience.
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Old 02-09-2018, 10:35 AM
 
5,445 posts, read 4,398,223 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlaskaErik View Post
When I went through MCRD San Diego they would just dump everything out while we were at chow. It's done to every platoon. Your DIs were just a little more creative!


As for Mt Suribachi, I actually got to go to the top of Mt Suribachi. We took a group of sailors to Iwo Jima for some sort of exercise. So we took the opportunity to go to the top and see the memorial for ourselves. Pretty humbling experience.
Very cool that you got to experience Mt. Suribachi. As for our DIs, that's what made it hilarious. We strung our crap all over the squad bay so many times I lost count, but this particular time is stuck in my head because of their creativity.
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Old 02-14-2018, 11:09 AM
 
Location: San Diego CA
3,847 posts, read 2,901,924 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by headingtoDenver View Post
I'm pretty sure every Marine went through something like this at one point in boot camp, but when I went through it, it was some of the funniest stuff to happen.


We messed up somehow, I can't recall exactly what we did, but we messed up pretty bad. Next thing you know, we are all emptying our foot lockers in front of us. Then we were told to pick up everything including our footlockers and throw it into the middle of the squad bay. The DI instructed the guide to grab our guidon and 'plant' it in the middle of the pile. He then said, "look platoon, it is Mount Suribachi! My squadbay is now a f***ing historical landmark. We should charge admission for this ***** because I'm sure as hell not paid enough to put up with all your stupidity."
Went through similar experience in the Vietnam era. In our case the DI's disassembled our racks and heaped them up in the middle of the squad bay along with our mattreses . I've spoke to other Marines over the years from different time periods and the same stuff happened to them. It's a time honored tradition if you can call it that.
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Old 02-14-2018, 03:24 PM
 
Location: Alaska
187 posts, read 81,177 times
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MCRD PI 1982


3rd phase toward the end of my "summer camp" at PI one the DIs brings in a trumpet and asks "who can play this, no one answers... who has ever played and you better step forward NOW!"
So three of us step out, we take turns auditioning .... I'm the winner.


fast forward a few weeks we are almost at graduation. I'm dressed in skivvies, flip flops and still wearing a long tie that we have practiced tying for upcoming graduation, it's lights out. Several platoons know of me ..I'm sent out to play the Marine Corps Hymn just after everyone has hit the rack. It echos through the concrete squad bays.


3 DIs in our platoon, 2 of them tell me they will wrap the horn around my neck if I ever go after it while they are on Duty.


So one of the DIs who doesn't like the horn, I guess thinks about, he has a couple of privates on the quarter deck making pools of sweat and he asks me to get the horn and play something. Something pops into my head and I start playing I later find out is Chopins Death march. He cracks a smile and tries not to but starts laughing, sees me looking at him, yells makes me join the action.
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Old 02-22-2018, 11:16 AM
 
88 posts, read 123,877 times
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in 1966 we were all going to Vietnam. We had an all day and night class on "escape and evasion". We were broken down into 4 man teams. There were classes on map reading, camouflage and how to survive in the jungle. They even showed us how to kill a chicken by wringing it's neck and cooking it.

Each team was given some raw chicken meat, a can of pineapple rings and a loaf of bread. We were supposed to make a fire and cook the chicken.The first thing we did was makepineapple sandwichesWhen they blew a whistle, we were supposed to run into the woods and find our way back to a friendly base. There were enemy VC that would capture us. It was always stressed that this would be treated as a real exercise. If you were caught, you would be tortured.

The company commander came out to see how everything was going. He visited the enemy compound to see how many of us were caught. During his visit one of the teamsstole his Jeep and drove back to base camp. When he was questioned why he stole the jeep, he said he was told that this exercise was supposed to be treated as the real thing. The Company commander was pizzed but he never pressed any charges against the recruit.
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Old 02-27-2018, 08:36 AM
 
5 posts, read 1,352 times
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My buddy and I were a bit older when we joined and one night went out for a few drinks at olive garden. Why there you ask? Because all the young kids will go to hooters and get drunk, the sergeants all know this. But nobody is going to come looking for soldiers at olive garden. Then we got wind of a hotel party and figured what the heck lets go check it out. It was the weekend and some folks got over-night passes and rented a hotel room. The hotel had a pool, so of course the room is just filled with drunk teens in swimsuits and loud music. No crazy story about the party itself, not until my buddy and I try to leave to make it back before curfew. I said have fun guys, enjoy your overnight pass.

Thats when they told me that private jane didn't have one and she needs to go back to the barracks. Mind you this private jane passed out drunk in a bikini and the last thing I need is to be seen carrying her into the barracks. No clue where her ID is, the MP at the gate sure isn't going to take my word she's one of us. I said you guys better find some females to help her get back. But, I can't just leave her, so get her a cab and shove her in. When we get back on post, I see another taxi pull up, full of females. Oh thank god, hey you guys, come help your battle buddy to her room. Crisis averted, at least for me it seemed.

We were in the same barracks but females were on the bottom floor, men were all on upper levels. So I still end up walking in the front door with a gaggle of drunk females and some other random joes. Plot twist, the captain was for whatever reason on CQ that night. She did not like what she saw stumbling in. She starts yelling at all the females and poor little private jane still clueless on what's going on. I see her start writing down names and pushing them off. Some guys giggling tried sneaking passed the desk, but she caught them too. Starts screaming at their drunken butts. Meanwhile, I'm standing in the middle of everyone just staring at the sign-in sheet. Once the commander chases everyone off, she just glances at me and walks off. I quickly sign in and run up to my room before she figures out I was part of the younger crowd that night.

I found out the next day (yes there's more), that wasn't a very good night to be underage and drunk in front of the commander. Turns out while we were out that night, another private thought he'd be cool and bring a bottle of vodka into the barracks. Nobody wanted to drink with him so he drank alone. Once good and drunk, he dropped the bottle in the hallway and stepped on the glass barefoot. Now, others were left with no choice but to call CQ and get him taken to TMC.

I don't recall if this was the weekend the platoon sergeant we had in charge that saturday was drunk in the morning or not. Suffice to say, when folks ask me what the army was like, I just ask them if they've ever been drunk for a week straight. It's like that, but more yelling.
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