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Old 01-21-2018, 05:10 PM
 
9,092 posts, read 6,322,605 times
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I was in the Marine Corp and there weren't a lot of funny stories, though I can think of some stuff that makes me smile.

HOWEVER I had a friend who went through before I did and she said she'd come back from breakfast, stick her finger down her throat and throw up. The DIs were required to call an ambulance. The ambulance would pick her up and they'd go party most of the day. She'd come back trashed. Once she did some acid and couldn't stop laughing. Her DI made her stand in front of the bathroom mirror and laugh at herself. That's one of my all-time favorite WRTC Parris Island stories. (that was before drug testing. My platoon was the first to pee in a bottle)
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Old 02-08-2018, 12:05 AM
 
Location: Colorado
1,054 posts, read 776,416 times
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I have a couple, but my all-time favorite....

This was early in Basic Training, at the 'scaring the snot out of you' stage. We got woken up at 2 a.m. and dragged outside to do PT. It's January, it's the middle of the night, the majority of us were 18 or 19 years old, away from home for the first time, and between the cold, homesickness, the shock of being woken up like that and getting yelled at to do exercises and thinking at that moment we'd made the WORST mistake of our lives, there was plenty of sniffling and sobbing. (And I will own up to being one of them.)

I was in formation next to tiny little Private B., who was NOT sniffling and crying. And our DI was going through the formation as he put us through the motions, yelling at us. And we were doing side-straddle hops when he passed by Private B. and noticed she wasn't showing any signs of distress.

So he gets into her face and yells out, "PRIVATE B!"

And Private B. freezes in the middle of a side-straddle hop. You ever see that picture of da Vinci's "Vitruvian Man"? Like that. I think she panicked and just couldn't remember if she was supposed to come to attention or continue with the exercise. Either way, she's there, arms and legs splayed out, and squeaking out, "Yes, Drill Sergeant!"

DI: "AREN'T YOU COLD PRIVATE B.?"

Private B (looking confused and panicky and still squeaking): "No, Drill Sergeant?"

DI: "WHAT DID YOU SAY, PRIVATE B?"

Private B: "No, Drill Sergeant!"

DI: "YOU BETTER SOUND OFF, PRIVATE B!"

Private B: "NO, DRILL SERGEANT!"

DI: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT COLD, PRIVATE B? EVERYBODY ELSE HERE IS WHINING AND BOO-HOOING THAT THEY'RE SO COLD, AND YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU'RE NOT COLD? WHY AREN'T YOU COLD, PRIVATE B?"

Private B: "DRILL SERGEANT! I AM AN ESKIMO FROM ALASKA!"

......ladies and gentlemen....I lost it. I went from sobbing to giggling hysterically in a split second. Private B looked even *more* panicked (if that were even possible), and the DI ducked his head and pulled on the brim of his Smokey and pulled it over his face a little, shaking his head. For the sake of not getting myself permanently banned from CD, I am going to slightly alter the DI's language in the following (but you'll all be able to figure out what really got said....)

DI: "Goshdarnit.....just....goshdarnit....goshdarn Eskimo from goshdarn Alaska my goshdarn black butt. Private B, you get back to the barracks and you take goshdarn giggling Private Cardinal (side note--this is what he wound up calling me the rest of basic) with you! Goshdarn privates messing up my goshdarn formation--I'll goshdarn Eskimo from Alaska YOU, Private B! You stop that giggling, goshdarn giggling Private Cardinal! You two just get out of here! I don't even want to SEE you!" (We scramble to get out of formation and back to the barracks as ordered, all the time hearing him mutter) "Goshdarn Eskimos, Goshdarn Alaska, Goshdarn Privates--I DIDN'T SAY FOR THE REST OF YOU TO STOP!" (Goes back to making the rest of the company do exercises.) I am *still* giggling uncontrollably all the way back to the barracks, and I finally get them under control just as we reach our bunks, when Private B., *still* looking panicky, asks....

"Do you think I'm in trouble for what I said?"

And I lost it again. I was still laughing when the rest of the company was finally brought back in. The DI saw me, just shook his head, and said, "You got issues, Cardinal." But he let it go.

I honestly suspect he'd been trying to do his best to not break out laughing himself.

(And for the record, she really *was* an Eskimo from Alaska.)
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Old 02-08-2018, 06:28 AM
 
Location: Hawaii/Alabama
1,480 posts, read 2,766,841 times
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So, we were in USD training and the instructor wanted to demonstrate the goose neck come along, which involves cranking down hard on the wrist.

He surveys us and wants me to get on the platform so he could make me cry out (I was 103 lbs then), he totally ignored the 3 male platoons.

So, I get up there and he positions me to give the other trainees the best view and cranks down hard. Nothing happens. I have no reaction and deprive him of his expected scream of pain. He tries again with the same result. He tries my other wrist - nothing.

He is getting pissed, so I very loudly and clearly told him, "Sergeant, I am double jointed!". The entire place went up in laughter and I was instructed to get the hell off his platform. USD was so much fun for me, and soooo frustrating for my sparring partners and instructors.
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Old 02-08-2018, 02:39 PM
 
4,994 posts, read 3,754,331 times
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I'm pretty sure every Marine went through something like this at one point in boot camp, but when I went through it, it was some of the funniest stuff to happen.


We messed up somehow, I can't recall exactly what we did, but we messed up pretty bad. Next thing you know, we are all emptying our foot lockers in front of us. Then we were told to pick up everything including our footlockers and throw it into the middle of the squad bay. The DI instructed the guide to grab our guidon and 'plant' it in the middle of the pile. He then said, "look platoon, it is Mount Suribachi! My squadbay is now a f***ing historical landmark. We should charge admission for this ***** because I'm sure as hell not paid enough to put up with all your stupidity."

Last edited by headingtoDenver; 02-08-2018 at 02:55 PM..
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Old 02-08-2018, 08:57 PM
 
Location: Wasilla, AK
4,551 posts, read 2,237,969 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by headingtoDenver View Post
I'm pretty sure every Marine went through something like this at one point in boot camp, but when I went through it, it was some of the funniest stuff to happen.


We messed up somehow, I can't recall exactly what we did, but we messed up pretty bad. Next thing you know, we are all emptying our foot lockers in front of us. Then we were told to pick up everything including our footlockers and throw it into the middle of the squad bay. The DI instructed the guide to grab our guidon and 'plant' it in the middle of the pile. He then said, "look platoon, it is Mount Suribachi! My squadbay is now a f***ing historical landmark. We should charge admission for this ***** because I'm sure as hell not paid enough to put up with all your stupidity."

When I went through MCRD San Diego they would just dump everything out while we were at chow. It's done to every platoon. Your DIs were just a little more creative!


As for Mt Suribachi, I actually got to go to the top of Mt Suribachi. We took a group of sailors to Iwo Jima for some sort of exercise. So we took the opportunity to go to the top and see the memorial for ourselves. Pretty humbling experience.
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Old 02-09-2018, 11:35 AM
 
4,994 posts, read 3,754,331 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlaskaErik View Post
When I went through MCRD San Diego they would just dump everything out while we were at chow. It's done to every platoon. Your DIs were just a little more creative!


As for Mt Suribachi, I actually got to go to the top of Mt Suribachi. We took a group of sailors to Iwo Jima for some sort of exercise. So we took the opportunity to go to the top and see the memorial for ourselves. Pretty humbling experience.
Very cool that you got to experience Mt. Suribachi. As for our DIs, that's what made it hilarious. We strung our crap all over the squad bay so many times I lost count, but this particular time is stuck in my head because of their creativity.
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Old Today, 12:09 PM
 
Location: San Diego CA
3,009 posts, read 2,449,775 times
Reputation: 4599
Quote:
Originally Posted by headingtoDenver View Post
I'm pretty sure every Marine went through something like this at one point in boot camp, but when I went through it, it was some of the funniest stuff to happen.


We messed up somehow, I can't recall exactly what we did, but we messed up pretty bad. Next thing you know, we are all emptying our foot lockers in front of us. Then we were told to pick up everything including our footlockers and throw it into the middle of the squad bay. The DI instructed the guide to grab our guidon and 'plant' it in the middle of the pile. He then said, "look platoon, it is Mount Suribachi! My squadbay is now a f***ing historical landmark. We should charge admission for this ***** because I'm sure as hell not paid enough to put up with all your stupidity."
Went through similar experience in the Vietnam era. In our case the DI's disassembled our racks and heaped them up in the middle of the squad bay along with our mattreses . I've spoke to other Marines over the years from different time periods and the same stuff happened to them. It's a time honored tradition if you can call it that.
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Old Today, 04:24 PM
 
Location: Alaska
73 posts, read 28,081 times
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MCRD PI 1982


3rd phase toward the end of my "summer camp" at PI one the DIs brings in a trumpet and asks "who can play this, no one answers... who has ever played and you better step forward NOW!"
So three of us step out, we take turns auditioning .... I'm the winner.


fast forward a few weeks we are almost at graduation. I'm dressed in skivvies, flip flops and still wearing a long tie that we have practiced tying for upcoming graduation, it's lights out. Several platoons know of me ..I'm sent out to play the Marine Corps Hymn just after everyone has hit the rack. It echos through the concrete squad bays.


3 DIs in our platoon, 2 of them tell me they will wrap the horn around my neck if I ever go after it while they are on Duty.


So one of the DIs who doesn't like the horn, I guess thinks about, he has a couple of privates on the quarter deck making pools of sweat and he asks me to get the horn and play something. Something pops into my head and I start playing I later find out is Chopins Death march. He cracks a smile and tries not to but starts laughing, sees me looking at him, yells makes me join the action.
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