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Old 03-30-2018, 11:38 PM
 
Location: Greenville, SC
910 posts, read 1,794,141 times
Reputation: 942

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If single parents only knew of the consequences of not raising their own children they would not be enlisting in the military in the first place.

I have firsthand experience from having been separated from my parents as a baby, but my case was different because I had my 2 parents. My Dad was in the army (in another country) and he was transferred to a small town where a dangerous illness was killing babies and I was just a newborn who was born underweight, so my maternal grandparents pleaded with them to leave me with them, and remained with them for 2 years. My parents visited I think every month but it was just not the same, when I returned with my parents I think I never quite bonded with them as I had with my grandparents, aunts and uncles. However, I didn't even know this until maybe my late teens, and I thought it was just a year. Years later a psychologist I consulted explained that I'd bonded with my grandparents and that's why I always wanted to be with them; it also explained why I didn't have a good relationship with parents. Small wonder that at 14 I wondered if I was adopted!

I myself raised 2 kids by mostly by myself, and while it's true that sometimes I needed government help for daycare and food stamps but except for a period of 10 mo. when they were 9 and 7 that they had to be with my parents I was with my kids all the time. That period was very hard for me and my son (but my daughter didn't care as much, she was having fun). Then when she was 12 she was separated from me for a whole year, she and her brother had gone to visit my parents for the summer while I tried to get settled in another state where I had moved, but when it was time to come back she didn't want to, she was being spoiled by my mother, had cousins and friends there and was afraid of going to a new school in the new state, my mother said she'd take care of things if I let her stay and since my apt. was very small I agreed but it again was very hard on me and when she returned things were not the same between us and we were never close again to this day. So, no, I don't think separating from one's children has good consequences on the long run.

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Old 03-30-2018, 11:50 PM
 
Location: Middle America
35,804 posts, read 39,237,223 times
Reputation: 48597
Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredOfSFL View Post
If single parents only knew of the consequences of not raising their own children they would not be enlisting in the military in the first place.
Single parents often enlist in no small part as a means of providing quality healthcare for their children, and a career track that they can embark upon without necessarily having to sink time into additional schooling.
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Old 03-31-2018, 04:09 AM
 
Location: Georgia, USA
21,396 posts, read 25,996,565 times
Reputation: 26309
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
Then maybe talk to the owner of the site if you think they are wrong.
Do you not realize you are arguing with a recruiter? You would rather believe a website that appears to be out of date?
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Old 03-31-2018, 08:32 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
31,337 posts, read 18,362,733 times
Reputation: 12119
Quote:
Originally Posted by suzy_q2010 View Post
Do you not realize you are arguing with a recruiter? You would rather believe a website that appears to be out of date?
well, Not arguing with anybody. I don't know if he/she is a recruiter. Plus, I didn't post this to be snarky.

I think she/he should contact the owner of the website and demand a correction, so civilians like us won't be misled by the misleading information. Don't you think?

I remember you, you and I argued quite a bit. (the last one is about the definition of army ranger. LOL) Plus, the author of the article (I checked) is a retired airforce officer and he published quite a few ebooks. The article I posted was published in year 2018 (so pretty new. unless I am a psychic, I wouldn't have known that information is out of date.) You are not being fair, don't you think?

Yes, I do believe the recruiter should contact the person and ask him to correct the infor. When I typed "can a single mother join the military" on google, that is the first article popped up, just so you know.

Here is the contact infor



https://www.thebalance.com/rod-powers-3331657

I certainly have emailed the author and I will tell you what he has to say about it. Feel free to email him as well.

Last edited by lilyflower3191981; 03-31-2018 at 08:56 AM..
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Old 03-31-2018, 10:08 AM
 
Location: Central Massachusetts
4,672 posts, read 4,470,062 times
Reputation: 5943
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
well, Not arguing with anybody. I don't know if he/she is a recruiter. Plus, I didn't post this to be snarky.

I think she/he should contact the owner of the website and demand a correction, so civilians like us won't be misled by the misleading information. Don't you think?

I remember you, you and I argued quite a bit. (the last one is about the definition of army ranger. LOL) Plus, the author of the article (I checked) is a retired airforce officer and he published quite a few ebooks. The article I posted was published in year 2018 (so pretty new. unless I am a psychic, I wouldn't have known that information is out of date.) You are not being fair, don't you think?

Yes, I do believe the recruiter should contact the person and ask him to correct the infor. When I typed "can a single mother join the military" on google, that is the first article popped up, just so you know.

Here is the contact infor



https://www.thebalance.com/rod-powers-3331657

I certainly have emailed the author and I will tell you what he has to say about it. Feel free to email him as well.
Honestly the only way to know for certain is not from some website. Especially not one that that isn't associated with any of the military branches. You were in fact arguing with an AF recruiter. It is all good though. She has put out the correct information for anyone that is interested in joining the AF and are an unmarried parent. I know of at least two army mom who joined in the last few years. They were single and while they were in their training (basic combat training and advanced individual training) their parents took care of the children. I am not a recruiter but I did spend a great deal of time. On this forum you will find several active duty soldiers/sailors/airmen that have assisted with many a question and dmarie123 is one of the best. I have never found her information faulty or problematic. If she don't know she will say so and attempt to get the answer as she did for you here.
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Old 03-31-2018, 10:09 AM
 
5,525 posts, read 4,356,777 times
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how come the author is Stew Smith, but when you click on his name it takes you to Rod Powers' information?

I used to read Rod's page on About.com. It was interesting, but I'm more inclined to think DMarie has more accurate information. He does distinguish between single parents and custody arrangements in the branches - navy and marines have to give legal custody by court order - air force and army - just have to indicate that someone else has custody.

so maybe both right?
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Old 03-31-2018, 11:05 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
31,337 posts, read 18,362,733 times
Reputation: 12119
Quote:
Originally Posted by oldsoldier1976 View Post
Honestly the only way to know for certain is not from some website. Especially not one that that isn't associated with any of the military branches. You were in fact arguing with an AF recruiter. It is all good though. She has put out the correct information for anyone that is interested in joining the AF and are an unmarried parent. I know of at least two army mom who joined in the last few years. They were single and while they were in their training (basic combat training and advanced individual training) their parents took care of the children. I am not a recruiter but I did spend a great deal of time. On this forum you will find several active duty soldiers/sailors/airmen that have assisted with many a question and dmarie123 is one of the best. I have never found her information faulty or problematic. If she don't know she will say so and attempt to get the answer as she did for you here.
Okay. I wasn't arguing with her/him. So I feel I have to defend myself here. Other than that, it is all good.
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Old 03-31-2018, 11:06 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
31,337 posts, read 18,362,733 times
Reputation: 12119
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
how come the author is Stew Smith, but when you click on his name it takes you to Rod Powers' information?

I used to read Rod's page on About.com. It was interesting, but I'm more inclined to think DMarie has more accurate information. He does distinguish between single parents and custody arrangements in the branches - navy and marines have to give legal custody by court order - air force and army - just have to indicate that someone else has custody.

so maybe both right?
I assume Rod Powers is the original author. Stew Smith reposted the article.

I have contacted Rod Powers, and am waiting for an answer.

I have a friend who is a single father and I know for sure he couldn't join the Marine Corps. So I'd agree with your last paragraph. This is several years ago though, so if they updated the policy, then wow.

Plus, the article says

Additionally, the military services stopped accepting single-parents for enlistment in the military because they saw the problems that long-term combat deployments caused. After the attacks on September 11, 2001, with more than 15 years of sustained combat action, the chances for single parents joining is impossible without custody transfer.

So it leads me to believe that they USED to accept single-parents with custody, but they stopped.

Last edited by lilyflower3191981; 03-31-2018 at 11:29 AM..
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Old 03-31-2018, 11:50 AM
 
Location: Greenville, SC
910 posts, read 1,794,141 times
Reputation: 942
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
Single parents often enlist in no small part as a means of providing quality healthcare for their children, and a career track that they can embark upon without necessarily having to sink time into additional schooling.
Whatever the reason(s)the fact is that for children the most important thing is for their parents to be with them. What good is "quality healthcare" if the parents are not there when the child is sick anyway? And it's not just the children affected, the stress on the single parent increases due to having to be away. People very often make choices that seem to be good at the time but they probably have no idea of the future consequences. Here's a study I found about the impact of militarylife on children in single-parent military families, it was apparently not a very in-depth study nor long term but still shows some considerable effect on the children and their relationship with the absent parent.
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Old 03-31-2018, 12:33 PM
 
Location: Central Massachusetts
4,672 posts, read 4,470,062 times
Reputation: 5943
Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredOfSFL View Post
Whatever the reason(s)the fact is that for children the most important thing is for their parents to be with them. What good is "quality healthcare" if the parents are not there when the child is sick anyway? And it's not just the children affected, the stress on the single parent increases due to having to be away. People very often make choices that seem to be good at the time but they probably have no idea of the future consequences. Here's a study I found about the impact of militarylife on children in single-parent military families, it was apparently not a very in-depth study nor long term but still shows some considerable effect on the children and their relationship with the absent parent.
Not for anything the study has flaws. I know many a army brat that turned out to be amazing people. I know many military families that raise wonderful kids. I for one raised a daughter with whom I am very proud of.

So how about some interesting facts about military families?
  • Over 2 Million U.S. Children Have a Parent Who Served in Iraq or Afghanistan
  • The Average Military Family Moves Every Two to Three Years
  • Deployments Typically Last One Year
  • Sometimes, Both Parents Get Deployed at the Same Time
  • The Average Military Child Will Change Schools Six to Nine Times
  • Military Families Often Have to Give up Their Beloved Pets
  • The Unemployment Rate Among Military Spouses Is More Than Three times the National Average
  • Service Members Divorce Less Frequently Than Civilians
  • Military Children Are Twice as Likely to Join the Military as Civilian Children

https://www.care.com/c/stories/4374/...military-fami/
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