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Old 05-14-2018, 09:50 PM
 
Location: Approximately 50 miles from Missoula MT/38 yrs full time after 4 yrs part time
2,256 posts, read 3,164,141 times
Reputation: 4689

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I have a very close friend, age 92, who saw a lot of action as a BAR man in the 2nd Marine Raider Batallion in 1943 and 1944.
He lives alone, by choice, outside of a small town in Montana.
He has 3 grown children who live in three different states who come to see him on a rotation basis so that one of them sees him every month. He gets along with them quite well.
He gives up very little information re his 18 months in combat and lives a very quiet but comfortable life........however he is showing signs of failing ......
There is a local Marine Corp League in the area, ..however he has never contacted them and does not want to do so.
He will be buried locally next to his wife, .....and I think it would be a terrible shame if the local Marine Corp League is not involved with his funeral.
My question is this:..........should I (anonamosly make the local MCL aware of the situation, so that at the time of his death, he is honored for his service to this country.
Opinions please.
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Old 05-14-2018, 10:40 PM
 
12,566 posts, read 12,032,141 times
Reputation: 17193
What do his kids think?

I tend to side with what he wants and displayed (as in he seems not interested in the Marine League) and also curious what his kids have to say.

I myself would never impose such thing on him at his funeral, especially since he has shown he does not want anything to do with them.
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Old 05-14-2018, 10:55 PM
 
1,152 posts, read 233,133 times
Reputation: 1516
Quote:
Originally Posted by boxus View Post
What do his kids think?

I tend to side with what he wants and displayed (as in he seems not interested in the Marine League) and also curious what his kids have to say.

I myself would never impose such thing on him at his funeral, especially since he has shown he does not want anything to do with them.

As a former Marine myself, I completely agree with this.
He's aware of the league and has chosen not to associate, why does the OP thin k they know better?
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Old 05-15-2018, 03:48 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
29,700 posts, read 47,418,342 times
Reputation: 17535
Even without the Marine League, any time that any vet dies you can call the nearest VFW. They will try to setup a nice funeral and graveside service.

I am Chaplain of my VFW post, we do these funerals regularly.
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Old 05-17-2018, 07:50 PM
 
4,026 posts, read 1,827,946 times
Reputation: 3202
Quote:
Originally Posted by USMC1984 View Post
As a former Marine myself, I completely agree with this.
He's aware of the league and has chosen not to associate, why does the OP thin k they know better?
Its a nice thought on the op's part..........and he is asking opinions..........so it is not like he "thinks he knows better"
Asking the sons is a good idea,,,,,,,,,,
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Old 05-17-2018, 07:54 PM
 
4,026 posts, read 1,827,946 times
Reputation: 3202
Quote:
Originally Posted by Montana Griz View Post
I have a very close friend, age 92, who saw a lot of action as a BAR man in the 2nd Marine Raider Batallion in 1943 and 1944.
He lives alone, by choice, outside of a small town in Montana.
He has 3 grown children who live in three different states who come to see him on a rotation basis so that one of them sees him every month. He gets along with them quite well.
He gives up very little information re his 18 months in combat and lives a very quiet but comfortable life........however he is showing signs of failing ......
There is a local Marine Corp League in the area, ..however he has never contacted them and does not want to do so.
He will be buried locally next to his wife, .....and I think it would be a terrible shame if the local Marine Corp League is not involved with his funeral.
My question is this:..........should I (anonamosly make the local MCL aware of the situation, so that at the time of his death, he is honored for his service to this country.
Opinions please.
My father passed away in 2005.... he may have even known this guy.......too few of them left........Please mention that the son of a Guadalcanal marine says "salute"
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Old 05-17-2018, 08:48 PM
 
968 posts, read 424,004 times
Reputation: 2451
It could be a matter of modesty. He might not want attention or recognition....even though he deserves it.


Try to speak to him and his sons.. He may just be being modest or shy, or he may really just not want attention.

I'm glad you recognise him as being a great man who deserves recognition but I would run it by his next of kin out of respect for them.
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Old 05-17-2018, 09:50 PM
 
Location: Henderson, NV
818 posts, read 481,366 times
Reputation: 2212
Quote:
Originally Posted by drinkthekoolaid View Post
It could be a matter of modesty. He might not want attention or recognition....even though he deserves it.


Try to speak to him and his sons.. He may just be being modest or shy, or he may really just not want attention.

I'm glad you recognise him as being a great man who deserves recognition but I would run it by his next of kin out of respect for them.
Some combat veterans don't have fond memories of combat. I agree with what you're saying, but some of these guys learned to suppress or bury dark memories and don't want to live it again. It doesn't take much to trigger.

I know it's not the popular psychology of today, but avoiding triggers and suppressing horrible events is just as likely as modesty. I would honor him by honoring his wishes.
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Old 05-18-2018, 12:32 AM
 
Location: Approximately 50 miles from Missoula MT/38 yrs full time after 4 yrs part time
2,256 posts, read 3,164,141 times
Reputation: 4689
Thanks for the various responses (opinions).

Let me be clear.....I would never take it upon myself to make the decision regarding a military presence at his funeral.
That choice would come from his 3 children(1 son & 2 daughters).......AND several months ago I did briefly mention to his son about the MCL having an active presence in this area. I don't know if the son has had any discussion with his dad or if anything has been decided.
Yes he is a "quiet/somewhat introvert type" who did very well in his law-career and was married for almost 69 yrs.
.
He has taken the death of his wife very hard.
Two things he did make clear to me several yrs ago was that he did not believe in detailed and lengthy obits..........in fact he would be quite satisfied if his read: .... "..........
That is a direct quote from him.
Mr. XXXX XXXXX was born in 1925 and died in 20XX.

The 2nd thing he mentioned was that he joined the Marines the day after he graduated High School and had to provide parental consent since he was not quite 18 yr old.
At this point, I will just continue to be an observer.
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Old 05-19-2018, 04:09 PM
 
10,345 posts, read 7,438,412 times
Reputation: 18190
Please tell him a BAM said Semper Fi!
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