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Old 09-30-2018, 10:15 AM
 
Location: Hard aground in the Sonoran Desert
4,549 posts, read 7,974,604 times
Reputation: 6272

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To the OP...he's only in bootcamp, it isn't going to get any easier later on. When he deploys overseas to support combat operations it is going to be much harder. Are you sure you want to continue in a military relationship?

You need help from family and friends. This forum isn't going to give you what you need.

Last edited by volosong; 10-02-2018 at 08:27 PM..
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Old 09-30-2018, 05:07 PM
 
99 posts, read 23,062 times
Reputation: 343
Do both you and your significant other a favor and stay out of bars, loneliness and alcohol can lead to unwanted memories and broken relationships. Do you have close family? How about his family? Church? If not, you need to broaden your social contacts. Go to school and improve your job prospects, work more, take on hobbies that have the side benefit of self-improvement. Your BF is working hard in the military to improve both of your lives, you should do the same. Take it from someone who learned the hard way that idle hands truly are the Devil's workshop. JMHO.
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Old 09-30-2018, 05:44 PM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,413 posts, read 42,571,594 times
Reputation: 56947
What did you think would happen when you married a soldier? You are expected to get a backbone, NOW.
When you marry a soldier you are like a soldier yourself. You need to hold down the fort while your husband is gone, not just now, but many times in the future.
No whining wives are allowed. Whining wives get dumped for wives that can get with the program.
As others have said, there is plenty of support in the Army for wives and families. You need to put on your big girl pants and step up.
If your husband is only in boot camp, you have the ability to make him fail. Is that what you want? If so, keep on whining and being needy.
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Old 09-30-2018, 08:08 PM
 
Location: New Mexico U.S.A.
24,080 posts, read 38,758,901 times
Reputation: 28047
The original poster never stated she had a husband. She had always stated it was her boyfriend...
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Old 09-30-2018, 11:33 PM
 
5,756 posts, read 3,271,941 times
Reputation: 13490
If you aren't getting enough work hours, how about taking some classes to get a better job?
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Old 10-01-2018, 07:26 AM
 
Location: San Antonio
3,176 posts, read 9,190,248 times
Reputation: 4681
Write him letters when you feel lonely, but don't guilt trip him.
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Old 10-01-2018, 10:06 AM
 
Location: U.S.A., Earth
4,325 posts, read 2,596,779 times
Reputation: 3794
Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
What did you think would happen when you married a soldier? You are expected to get a backbone, NOW.
When you marry a soldier you are like a soldier yourself. You need to hold down the fort while your husband is gone, not just now, but many times in the future.
No whining wives are allowed. Whining wives get dumped for wives that can get with the program.
As others have said, there is plenty of support in the Army for wives and families. You need to put on your big girl pants and step up.
If your husband is only in boot camp, you have the ability to make him fail. Is that what you want? If so, keep on whining and being needy.
As much as I'd hate to say this, one does need to learn to be more independent with a military bf/gf. I've talked with a few who served (one who served in the Air Force) and he can say for certainty that him being deployed constantly lead to his divorce.


@OP, it's great that you have a significant other you can count on. However, I'm going to chime in with the others and say to also build up a support system with your community and other military spouses/significant others
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Old 10-01-2018, 10:25 AM
 
83 posts, read 16,245 times
Reputation: 248
OP. You will just have to learn to become independent. What happens if you get married and he gets deployed for 6 to 9 months? What happens if you get married and he gets deployed to someplace like South Korean which is an accompanied tour? Are you going to spend all your time in your on-base housing (and yes, I have seen some spouses do that for the entire 2 years they were there)? Life is to be enjoyed, so get cracking.
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Old 10-01-2018, 11:51 AM
Status: "I can retire today...but I love my job so...." (set 14 days ago)
 
Location: USA
534 posts, read 186,676 times
Reputation: 1448
Quote:
Originally Posted by dmarie123 View Post
Write him letters when you feel lonely, but don't guilt trip him.
This. He needs to keep his head in the game and since he's only been gone two weeks, he's still so new to the service, he hasn't figured out which way is up yet.

Write him but do not give him anything to worry about. He needs to be focused and worried about one thing: basic training and his service.
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Old 10-01-2018, 01:57 PM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,413 posts, read 42,571,594 times
Reputation: 56947
Quote:
Originally Posted by ackmondual View Post
As much as I'd hate to say this, one does need to learn to be more independent with a military bf/gf. I've talked with a few who served (one who served in the Air Force) and he can say for certainty that him being deployed constantly lead to his divorce.


@OP, it's great that you have a significant other you can count on. However, I'm going to chime in with the others and say to also build up a support system with your community and other military spouses/significant others
Iím the mother of soldiers. The military is hard on marriages. Younger soldiers frequently marry the high school sweetheart. The girls are lured by a chance to feel grown up, and the young soldierís regular paycheck and benefits. Iíve seen it happen so many times. Once the wives find themselves living on some barren Army base with the husband gone for a year, with no friends or support system, they find out itís not what they expected. They either find romance with someone else, or run home to mommy.

The smart ones either marry other soldiers who understand the challenges, or wait until the women they marry are well established in their own careers, so they have a career to occupy them while their husband is gone.
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