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Old 09-29-2018, 11:58 PM
 
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Hi I'm Stefani and I'm new to this whole military thing. My boyfriend left for boot camp about 2 weeks ago and I'm really struggling. It has been extremely hard for me and I need help getting through this. My boyfriend is my best friend who helps me through everything and without him here I've lost that support system. I don't really have anyone to lean on so without him here it is very difficult to make it through the day without shedding a tear. I know the best way to get through it is to stay busy but it's difficult for me since my job refuses to give me more hours. What is the best way I can get through this?
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Old 09-30-2018, 07:36 AM
 
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There are networks of military spouses you can turn to for support. What branch of the military did he join?
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Old 09-30-2018, 07:37 AM
 
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If you are that dependent on someone you need to see a therapist so you can learn some coping skills.
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Old 09-30-2018, 07:39 AM
 
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Type in a search for military spouse support and you’ll find plenty to choose from. If you move with him to his first duty station outside of boot camp then you’ll have access to personal connections with other spouses for support.
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Old 09-30-2018, 07:46 AM
 
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There are groups on FB for GFs and spouses /families. Some are for specific boot camp groups.

Remember (for anything not in a Private message on FB), everything has the potential to be read aloud during BC so don't write anything, anywhere, including in letters, that could possible get your BF "smoked". And never send anything without his permission. Ever. Lol.
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Old 09-30-2018, 08:06 AM
 
5,106 posts, read 6,052,132 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stefani4305 View Post
Hi I'm Stefani and I'm new to this whole military thing. My boyfriend left for boot camp about 2 weeks ago and I'm really struggling. It has been extremely hard for me and I need help getting through this. My boyfriend is my best friend who helps me through everything and without him here I've lost that support system. I don't really have anyone to lean on so without him here it is very difficult to make it through the day without shedding a tear. I know the best way to get through it is to stay busy but it's difficult for me since my job refuses to give me more hours. What is the best way I can get through this?
My suggestion would be to use this time to develop your own inner strength and independence. One thing about being a military spouse is the regularity with which the spouse must handle everything on his/her own. Become strong and resilient. get into a church group or a club. go to your county or city recreation center. Work as many hours as you can, work out to build your body strength, go to the library to build your mental strength, spend time with friends and family or get in touch with them. do activities. walks in the park. go watch kids' ballgames. i don't know. anything free.

good luck.
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Old 09-30-2018, 08:26 AM
 
Location: New Mexico U.S.A.
24,112 posts, read 38,813,962 times
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There are times when there is a difference between a boyfriend and a spouse...

Stefani4305, Here is one of many sites discussing Boot Camp: https://www.todaysmilitary.com/training/boot-camp

Depending on where he is at and where you are at, you might be able to meet him at the end of his Basic Training. Upon completion of Basic Training he might have a short break and then normally continues on to additional training of various lengths which may be at the same location, or at another military facility which could almost be anywhere in the US...

Writing to him on occasion may alleviate some worry's. There also may be times that he might be able to write to you and call you on the phone.
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Old 09-30-2018, 08:46 AM
 
15,819 posts, read 18,409,596 times
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Originally Posted by Poncho_NM View Post
There are times when there is a difference between a boyfriend and a spouse...

Stefani4305, Here is one of many sites discussing Boot Camp: https://www.todaysmilitary.com/training/boot-camp

Depending on where he is at and where you are at, you might be able to meet him at the end of his Basic Training. Upon completion of Basic Training he might have a short break and then normally continues on to additional training of various lengths which may be at the same location, or at another military facility which could almost be anywhere in the US...

Writing to him on occasion may alleviate some worry's. There also may be times that he might be able to write to you and call you on the phone.


Or skype or facetime you.

Look for support as suggested from other military spouses. But i also think that you should take this time to focus on getting used to relying on yourself.

My daughter was a Navy wife for many years. She spent most of her time alone raising the 3 kids....she even completed a degree alone with 3 kids. As a SO of a military person...you have to be independent and be able to be their support and manage the day to day while they are often in dangerous situations while deployed.

Sorry to be blunt, but our soldiers are often in harms way.....so a spouse has to shoulder the load alone....and still keep a stiff upper lip so they do not worry the deployed person.

As a non spouse, you'll have to be proactive in looking for support....because you will not be automatically included in military situations. Perhaps after basic he will make friends with others and if any of them are married their spouses can stay in touch with you and be some support.

Work on yourself.....be the best that you can be....so that you and he together will be a great team.

There are many links. Here a a few that may get you started.

https://www.jointservicessupport.org/PHP/Spouses.aspx

http://www.operationwearehere.com/Mi...nizations.html

https://www.military.com/deployment/...-deployed.html

Last edited by JanND; 09-30-2018 at 08:55 AM.. Reason: edit text
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Old 09-30-2018, 09:14 AM
 
Location: North Dakota
7,016 posts, read 8,176,700 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joe from dayton View Post
If you are that dependent on someone you need to see a therapist so you can learn some coping skills.
Agreed!
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Old 09-30-2018, 09:35 AM
 
Location: Columbia SC
7,936 posts, read 6,689,893 times
Reputation: 10700
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stefani4305 View Post
Hi I'm Stefani and I'm new to this whole military thing. My boyfriend left for boot camp about 2 weeks ago and I'm really struggling. It has been extremely hard for me and I need help getting through this. My boyfriend is my best friend who helps me through everything and without him here I've lost that support system. I don't really have anyone to lean on so without him here it is very difficult to make it through the day without shedding a tear. I know the best way to get through it is to stay busy but it's difficult for me since my job refuses to give me more hours. What is the best way I can get through this?
You need to talk to an older man or woman to help you with this.

Last edited by volosong; 10-02-2018 at 08:27 PM..
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