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Old 10-02-2018, 01:18 AM
 
287 posts, read 159,591 times
Reputation: 443

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I'm not in the military nor I ever was due to deafness. I was an army brat. I'd hear stories about "dependas" and the worst kind of army spouses.

Examples being:

"You can't talk to me like that! My husband is a staff sergeant, and your husband is a corporal! I outrank you!"

Or

A military police officer pulls over a woman driving on base due to excessive speeding. Woman said, "My husband is a colonel. I do not feel I deserve the speeding ticket." MP gives her the ticket anyway. She gets furious and tells her colonel husband.

Post your own.
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Old 10-02-2018, 09:17 AM
 
Location: Richmond, VA
2,633 posts, read 4,391,959 times
Reputation: 4213
I once knew this woman-a military spouse. You would not BELIEVE this woman!
She met her husband while he was an O-3, in company command. She kept dating him and fell in love, and then, get this-stayed faithful and supportive during a short tour!

Then, to top it all off, she MARRIED this chump and supported him during his career by accepting the hardships of moving every couple of years during her prime professional years! To add insult to injury, they had 2 beautiful children-TOGETHER!

After over 20 years together, they retired from active duty. Sure, he was still healthy, but this harpy asked him to find ANOTHER job using his skills and abilities so they could put the kids through college and continue enjoying the off time they had together! All in all, just an incredible tragedy.

/sarcasm off

Not sure why you want to know about ‘dependas’ and I won’t pander to this one. They exist everywhere, not just in the military, and are probably a very small minority. Many couples are very happy together.
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Old 10-02-2018, 09:52 AM
 
Location: New Mexico U.S.A.
24,130 posts, read 38,859,608 times
Reputation: 28092
Your Military
'Dependa' bashing: Mudslingers stun military spouses
By: Karen Jowers, June 22, 2015

https://www.militarytimes.com/news/y...itary-spouses/

Quote:
Experts say cyberbullying of military spouses has been on the rise, manifesting in various ways: online gathering spots in social media for those with similar inclinations; comments and stories posted to blogs online; and trolls who specifically seek out military spouses to personally attack.

Women are the main target for the abuse in this hostile realm, which has received little oversight, largely due to the unchallenged assumption that the Internet's anonymity makes accountability all but impossible.
I am a retired U.S. Army soldier. My wife faithfully endured my military obligations.

I do not condone the crap this thread is leading to. I'm outta here.
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Old 10-02-2018, 10:23 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
31,385 posts, read 18,420,530 times
Reputation: 12142
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBAinTexas View Post
I'm not in the military nor I ever was due to deafness. I was an army brat. I'd hear stories about "dependas" and the worst kind of army spouses.

Examples being:

"You can't talk to me like that! My husband is a staff sergeant, and your husband is a corporal! I outrank you!"

Or

A military police officer pulls over a woman driving on base due to excessive speeding. Woman said, "My husband is a colonel. I do not feel I deserve the speeding ticket." MP gives her the ticket anyway. She gets furious and tells her colonel husband.

Post your own.
So, these stories you heard are entertaining to you?

I started dating Marines when I was in college. I've been told

Officer spouses are snobs.

Enlisted spouses are uneducated.

We wear our service members rank. The list goes on and on..

There are military spouses in the community who fit the negative stereotypes, but also those who embody the positive stereotypes as well.

I think there is a middle ground. Sure, some military wives fit the negative stereotypes, many are the strong, saintly depictions husbands want their wives to be. Just be realistic about all of it.

Military spouses are a special breed of people trying to endure the military lifestyle, from a three-month sea deployment to a year’s tour in Afghanistan. But the thing is, spouses are still just people, and there will be good and bad people everywhere. As with any community, there will be gossip, jealousy, and a perceived hierarchy. Military spouses don’t have superpowers; they just know when to be strong. Or not.

Many people have good marriages, many people's marriages are doomed. This is life. I am engaged to a former Marine and I view him as a man first, a Marine second. I was engaged to him when he was still active duty and I enjoyed our time together. We were a normal loving couple then, we are a normal loving couple now. A lot of military relationships are just like ours.

It takes a special man to be a military service member, it takes a special woman to be a military wife. I don't view "Dependapotamus" as military wives.

Last edited by lilyflower3191981; 10-02-2018 at 10:44 AM..
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Old 10-02-2018, 10:42 AM
 
1,210 posts, read 240,347 times
Reputation: 1588
What's a dependa?
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Old 10-02-2018, 10:56 AM
 
Location: Hawaii/Alabama
1,595 posts, read 2,967,085 times
Reputation: 3983
Hmm,

I met my DH in 1985 when we were in Basic. We married in 1987 and are still together (33 year total). We have two sons who both became soldiers (one is still AD).

We have made friends that we have kept (some over three decades) from all ranks.

My DH broke his neck in 1994 and the Army and his command made certain that he received the best care available and gave him the medical leave necessary to recover and return to full duty.

When I had my first stroke the next year they again supported us (as did ALL of his future commands including when he was a Drill Sgt). They unconditionally supported our family when I ended up in a wheelchair and eventually lost my sight. We were provided with handicapped qtrs near our children's school and they allowed one of our boys to run home when I would fall out of my chair (a regular occurrence).

We lived in Europe, Hawaii and across the continental United States. Due to DH's MOS (select places we could be stationed) we always had friends waiting for us when we arrived.

The military provided us with a GOOD life. We have absolutely zero regrets and a lifetime of friends and stories that still make us laugh to this day.

HOOAH!
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Old 10-02-2018, 11:42 AM
Status: "I can retire today...but I love my job so...." (set 24 days ago)
 
Location: USA
552 posts, read 196,003 times
Reputation: 1537
I had a prisoner who was being jailed at the federal prison camp at Maxwell AFB in 1977 come into the lab with a trustee as part of the intake process. Prisoners were all over the base doing duties that might typically fall to young airmen like myself. The trustee with the prisoner came to me and asked for special treatment for the guy, John Mitchell, who was the former attorney general of the US under Nixon.

This trustee was a good guy so I accommodated both of them despite the fact that we were putting a prisoner ahead of our other active duty & dependent patients waiting in the lab. I know...the horror...the horror of being a nice guy. I was one of the few 'mericans who got to 'stick it to Mitchell'.



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Old 10-02-2018, 11:43 AM
Status: "I can retire today...but I love my job so...." (set 24 days ago)
 
Location: USA
552 posts, read 196,003 times
Reputation: 1537
Quote:
Originally Posted by melaniej65 View Post
Hmm,

I met my DH in 1985 when we were in Basic. We married in 1987 and are still together (33 year total). We have two sons who both became soldiers (one is still AD).

We have made friends that we have kept (some over three decades) from all ranks.

My DH broke his neck in 1994 and the Army and his command made certain that he received the best care available and gave him the medical leave necessary to recover and return to full duty.

When I had my first stroke the next year they again supported us (as did ALL of his future commands including when he was a Drill Sgt). They unconditionally supported our family when I ended up in a wheelchair and eventually lost my sight. We were provided with handicapped qtrs near our children's school and they allowed one of our boys to run home when I would fall out of my chair (a regular occurrence).

We lived in Europe, Hawaii and across the continental United States. Due to DH's MOS (select places we could be stationed) we always had friends waiting for us when we arrived.

The military provided us with a GOOD life. We have absolutely zero regrets and a lifetime of friends and stories that still make us laugh to this day.

HOOAH!
Bless you and your family - that's a great story. Hopefully, you guys are now comfortable in Sweet Home Alabama!
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Old 10-02-2018, 12:10 PM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,531 posts, read 42,694,765 times
Reputation: 57179
I’m not in the life, but all 3 of my sons are/were. The only bad thing I’ve heard about military wives is some get all their self esteem vicariously through the husbands, and there is far too much gossiping about each other. They want to know the rank of the husband, and how many deployments. The wife’s accomplishments make her less desirable, not more. What I mean is, a woman who is interesting in her own right, make the others feel bad about themselves.

My two DILs who were military wives, lasted through two get togethers with other wives before they had had enough. The third DIL was a First Sgt herself, so forget about it.

My youngest DIL is a pretty, soft spoken girl. At one meeting with other wives, they just assumed she was the uneducated little wife of a new soldier. She didn’t say otherwise. Her friend told her later, she told them my DIL was an architect and my son had been on 11 deployments, and that shut them up.

I dont really blame the wives though. With all the moving around, and having full responsibility for the kids, it must be very hard to forge an identity for yourself.
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Old 10-02-2018, 12:39 PM
 
Location: New Mexico U.S.A.
24,130 posts, read 38,859,608 times
Reputation: 28092
Quote:
Originally Posted by USMC1984 View Post
What's a dependa?
You might get called a dependa if…

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