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Old 03-25-2019, 09:06 PM
 
1 posts, read 69 times
Reputation: 10

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A couple of decades ago, I worked in a recruiting office briefly before I shipped out but I would guess things have changed a great deal. My question isnít about myself, itís about a young man who is sleeping on my couch, dating my daughter. After a year of refusing to get a job, a drivers license or an education, I finally bought him a one way ticket home but my daughter convinced him to join the Army. However, I think he is lying about his interactions with the recruiting office because he told his friends he would never sign. He took the ASVAB and went to medical screening at MEPS. That was 6 months ago. He says that MEPS is still reviewing his file. When I ask him to call for an update he has told me that his recruiter is away for training (for a month), in the field, and when I ask him to ask another recruiter or the station commander he says that he can only get the information from that one guy. My son enlisted a year ago and his recruiting station worked in teams and the station commander knew every single case as well. In addition, my son was required to show up once a week to train to meet minimum entry physical fitness standards, which this kid did for one week and I know for a fact he canít meet them. He says the recruiter told him heís no longer required to come to these sessions after just one? At this point, I do not care if the Army takes him, Iím pretty sure they would just send him back home a week after arriving at basic. I want to ship him back to his parents in another state. I have two questions because my daughter is concerned I would derail his chances at enlisting. First, is there any way to check if this kid was already turned down or is even still in the process? And second, if he is still waiting on a determination from MEPS, would he still be able to sign up if he moved out of state while he waited for an answer?
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Old 03-26-2019, 04:21 AM
 
Location: Boydton, VA
2,315 posts, read 2,926,619 times
Reputation: 4270
I would think with an adequate explanation about your concern for your daughter, the recruiting office personnel could tell you whether his processing is active or closed....why don't you pay them a visit, then have a come to jesus meeting with the kid on the couch ? My goal would be to ensure he "see's the light" (time to move on), without alienating my daughter is the process.

Good Luck
Gemstone1
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Old 03-26-2019, 04:44 AM
 
Location: San Antonio
3,308 posts, read 9,623,705 times
Reputation: 5096
No one will give you an answer on his recruitment status, as that's a violation of his privacy. He has to get the answers. Go together? If they do tell you anything, they're not following procedures. Maybe you'll get lucky :-)

Medical waivers can take months, but not 6 months, and the Army is usually fast.

He isn't joining. He either was turned down for some medical or legal issue you don't know about, or he doesn't want to join. You can't make him. Sorry!
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Old 03-26-2019, 01:02 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
30,377 posts, read 48,693,526 times
Reputation: 18592
He is not enlisting.

It can't hurt to spend a few minutes talking to the recruiter yourself. Maybe?

Have a conversation with his parents, to let them know what is happening and that he will be coming home.

Put him on a bus [watch that he gets on it and stays seated].

Have a long talk with your daughter. This boy is a lazy slug, our culture has made a lot of them. Your daughter will run into many of them. She needs to learn, that she can not be falling for lazy slugs.
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Old 03-26-2019, 02:15 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
32,490 posts, read 19,468,363 times
Reputation: 12635
I don't know anything about the Army, but when one of my friends wanted to enlist in the Marine Corps, I said I could ask his recruiter about the status for him. (He didn't want to ask himself for reasons I don't want to talk about here) The recruiter did not even talk to me. The recruiter was very polite and pleasant, but he didn't want to talk to me about him at all.
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Old 03-26-2019, 02:28 PM
 
Location: New Mexico U.S.A.
24,887 posts, read 40,397,522 times
Reputation: 28982
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaniGArmy View Post
My question isnít about myself, itís about a young man who is sleeping on my couch, dating my daughter.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaniGArmy View Post
After a year of refusing to get a job, a drivers license or an education,
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaniGArmy View Post
I finally bought him a one way ticket home but my daughter convinced him to join the Army. However, I think he is lying about his interactions with the recruiting office because he told his friends he would never sign.
He is a slug....

Get rid of him....

Tell him if he completes, graduates from basic training, your daughter will be there for his graduation.

I wager six Tecate's or Negra Modelo's he will be gone. Never to be heard from again...

A drafted Soldier who made it to 22 years...
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Old 03-26-2019, 03:50 PM
 
4,878 posts, read 2,099,662 times
Reputation: 3751
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaniGArmy View Post
A couple of decades ago, I worked in a recruiting office briefly before I shipped out but I would guess things have changed a great deal. My question isnít about myself, itís about a young man who is sleeping on my couch, dating my daughter. After a year of refusing to get a job, a drivers license or an education, I finally bought him a one way ticket home but my daughter convinced him to join the Army. However, I think he is lying about his interactions with the recruiting office because he told his friends he would never sign. He took the ASVAB and went to medical screening at MEPS. That was 6 months ago. He says that MEPS is still reviewing his file. When I ask him to call for an update he has told me that his recruiter is away for training (for a month), in the field, and when I ask him to ask another recruiter or the station commander he says that he can only get the information from that one guy. My son enlisted a year ago and his recruiting station worked in teams and the station commander knew every single case as well. In addition, my son was required to show up once a week to train to meet minimum entry physical fitness standards, which this kid did for one week and I know for a fact he canít meet them. He says the recruiter told him heís no longer required to come to these sessions after just one? At this point, I do not care if the Army takes him, Iím pretty sure they would just send him back home a week after arriving at basic. I want to ship him back to his parents in another state. I have two questions because my daughter is concerned I would derail his chances at enlisting. First, is there any way to check if this kid was already turned down or is even still in the process? And second, if he is still waiting on a determination from MEPS, would he still be able to sign up if he moved out of state while he waited for an answer?
All I can say is I feel your pain...ÖÖ..Have two daughters who dated more than their share of these kind of guys...Ö...
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Old Yesterday, 12:51 PM
 
20 posts, read 3,363 times
Reputation: 65
He needs to be homeless. Change the locks. Toss his stuff on the porch in a trash bag. Do it yesterday.
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Old Yesterday, 02:28 PM
 
5,250 posts, read 6,337,971 times
Reputation: 10041
Or you can try the trust the good sense you taught your daughter comes to the forefront when she sees that you are not opposing her or negative towards the man she 'loves'.

overall be positive but dismissive toward the man with obvious facts: "He is such a good looking guy, too bad he is bow legged." "He has beautiful eyes, too bad he doesn't know to close the door". Just occasionally with obvious facts that you are sure she has noticed. but not overly negative. Manipulative yes but it helps to be manipulative with girls. they see it for what it is and it allows them to open their eyes to the truth that they already know.

with boys, straight forward usually works better.

As to him living on your couch, that (to me) is totally inappropriate other than for an overnight emergency like the bridge being washed out and you put him up for the night only. It seems to me that you are well within your rights to call an end to what I am sure was a temporary situation on your part. Positively that is. "Joe and Mary Beth, I am sure you realize the time has come to end this temporary arrangement and I must ask Joe to find his own place. " then set the date for move out.

As to the military, if he were interested or had been accepted something would have happened by now.

Good luck.
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Old Yesterday, 11:29 PM
PFM
 
Location: Endicott, NY
128 posts, read 112,849 times
Reputation: 274
The Army already has enough pains in the ass to go around - don't add to some poor squad leader's workload.
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