Funniest or most memorable sayings...

[El Rhino]

Originally Posted by Jday

I remember in basic the instuctor asked this kid "did you shave this morning son?

the kid said "yessir of course"

instructor:"what did you use, a rock?"

I remember we had a kid that did something stupid and we made him carry around a rock as his ID. "Hey, go show Sergeant so-and-so your ID". If I remember right, someone even drew a smiley face on the rock with a Sharpie for him.

[masonsdaughter]

I was in the Engineers, so a lot of what wento on cannot be published in open forum, but, one morning during morning inspection my platoon sgt asked me a question then snapped out loud enough for the rest of the platoon to hear S.... sound off like you've got a pair. I replied Sgt, they didn't issue me any. The next morning we were informed that the engineers were to fall out then fall b ack into formation in the shop, at which time I was issued a pair. Our cwo had went to the px and bought 2 kids toy. Anyhow I probably have the only army issued pair in existance.

[pickleswanson]

My favorite moment came as a speech from Senior when several newly attained booters found their way into trouble on the way from the airport. No one had a clue anything had happened and of course the entire "A" school had to pay the price for folks we hadn't even met yet. The speach went something along the lines of:

"Who the hell do you think you are? Do you really think you can come into my house, take a beer from my frig, slap my wife on her ass and put your feet up on my desk? I'm gonna break yo d**ks off. On your faces. 1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4. What the f*** do you think you're doing. I better see everybody moving together as one. 1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4. I can do this all day. All of you had better get it together. 8-counts...begin"

This went on for a good 2 hours with everyone having a hard time trying not to laugh from the speach we had just been given and still no clue why we were pouring sweat on hot Mississippi asphalt.

[yhwhshalomjr]

When the Drill Sgts were yellin at us and they would say private sound off like you've got a pair", I'd answer by saying "yessir"; He'd say D---- My name. You don't call me sir "I work
for a livin" ))))
It used to crack me up, because it took me about a week to figure out what the heck they were talking about

[OC Investor2]

Murphy's Laws of combat:

Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder

The easy way is always mined

No plan ever survives initial contact.

Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you

If the enemy is within range, so are you

Tracers work both ways.

If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush

The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack

If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike.

If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short

When in doubt, empty your magazine.

[Alt Dach]

In Army,

"if you don't like the military why didn't you join the Girl Scouts,or if thats too tough,
the Air Force".

[El Rhino]

The Marine Corps is generally very un-PC. In Iraq my battalion commander's office had a sign on the door that said "if this sign is up I am either in sleep mode or it's happy sock time"