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Old 09-13-2008, 10:10 AM
 
1 posts, read 2,747 times
Reputation: 11

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Any info would be helpful, please. A family member (American citizen) is married to a NCO of another country. They have been married in excess of 10 years, 7 of which she spent living over there. They are now in the U. S., stationed here under NATO. There has been mental and verbal abuse for several years and she now has refuses to go back. She has spent the past 2 years taking courses to prepare for nursing school. She is in school all day and has 2 children to care for besides that. He has withdrawn all moines from the joint account and deposited it in his name only. She has to ask for money for anything that is needed. An appointment with a Lawyer has been made, but not for several weeks.
I'm at a loss to tell her where to go from here. She's numb, despondent and can't focus on school. Any info to guide her would be appreciated.
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Old 09-13-2008, 05:33 PM
 
2,664 posts, read 4,474,954 times
Reputation: 1556
Contacting a lawyer is a good start. Also tell her to get in touch with a counselor. I know it sounds crazy, but its really not. The counselor will be someone that can help her build up her self confidence and help her get through this. I cant remember if they are here under NATO what healthcare they have, but if its Tricare they go through, she may be able to use Military one source or be able to contact Tricare to find a counselor in her area.
Just keep encouraging her that she will get through this and be there for her when she needs someone to talk to.
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Old 09-14-2008, 08:05 AM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
30,624 posts, read 49,262,259 times
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Many other nations will have an entirely different set of morals.

Depending on which nation she went to and found a husband in, it is possible that she clearly has no rights within their understanding.

When we lived in Italy, I was amazed at the American females that I saw. Who dated Italian men, married into Italian families, got out of the US military, and were then subjected to the Italian lifestyle. I befriended one lady, who thus worked on base in a movie rental. Her income supported a large In-law family, yet she was not allowed to touch any of her money. She was denied seeing a doctor, she was denied a driver's license, she was forced to live within that culture's norm. These US citizens give up a great deal.

Finding a counselor for her, who is fluent in that culture, may be difficult, and yet obviously she can not pay for it.
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Old 09-14-2008, 09:56 AM
 
2,664 posts, read 4,474,954 times
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I did a quick search. Here is some info that may be helpful.
Quote:
Spouses and children of North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) and "Partners for Peace" (PFP) nation representatives who are officially accompanying the NATO or PFP nation representatives while stationed in, or passing through, the United States on official business. These family members are eligible for outpatient benefits only (including ambulatory surgery). They are not listed in the DEERS files, and should check with a BCAC/HBA/TSC for assistance before getting care or filing claims. (NATO and PFP family members cannot enroll in TRICARE Prime.)
Army.com - TRICARE Eligibility (http://www.army.com/resources/item/600 - broken link)
HTH.
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Old 09-16-2008, 11:47 AM
 
Location: killeen, texas
2 posts, read 4,047 times
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Army Wife and I need help too! I'm moving to PA with my husband and I was wondering how the job market was looking around New Cumberland, Pennsylvania. Right now I'm in Texas and I am finishing up my BA in Liberal Studies with Psy emphasis. So if anyone know about any opening around the VA in Hbg Pa or any other place please let me know.
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Old 09-17-2008, 07:33 AM
 
443 posts, read 1,938,207 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by weatherthestorm View Post
Any info would be helpful, please. A family member (American citizen) is married to a NCO of another country. They have been married in excess of 10 years, 7 of which she spent living over there. They are now in the U. S., stationed here under NATO. There has been mental and verbal abuse for several years and she now has refuses to go back. She has spent the past 2 years taking courses to prepare for nursing school. She is in school all day and has 2 children to care for besides that. He has withdrawn all moines from the joint account and deposited it in his name only. She has to ask for money for anything that is needed. An appointment with a Lawyer has been made, but not for several weeks.
I'm at a loss to tell her where to go from here. She's numb, despondent and can't focus on school. Any info to guide her would be appreciated.
try checking out www.cinchouse.com it's a website for military spouses..I am sure someone on there can help
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Old 09-17-2008, 09:56 PM
 
1,477 posts, read 4,135,193 times
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This is an official DoD website there is plenty of help to be found here, they will point you in the right direction.

Military OneSource
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Old 09-18-2008, 06:08 AM
 
Location: Washington, DC
425 posts, read 599,284 times
Reputation: 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by apemae View Post
Army Wife and I need help too! I'm moving to PA with my husband and I was wondering how the job market was looking around New Cumberland, Pennsylvania. Right now I'm in Texas and I am finishing up my BA in Liberal Studies with Psy emphasis. So if anyone know about any opening around the VA in Hbg Pa or any other place please let me know.
There are quite a few private hospitals in Harrisburg and I hear the VA Hospitals are always looking, even if they don't post the announcements

USAJOBS - (http://jobsearch.usajobs.opm.gov/jobsearch.asp?re=5&pg=1&q=Regional+HR+Manager&sort =jt&sorder=d&vw=d&FedEmp=N&brd=3876&ss=0&FedPub=Y - broken link)

On the left hand side of this webpage is a "Jobs" menu...

U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs
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Old 02-10-2009, 09:58 AM
 
Location: Fly-over country.
1,765 posts, read 6,366,800 times
Reputation: 907
She's a US Citizen so nothing else really matters.

Step 1 - secure children and identification for herself and children
Step 2- get away from abuse
Step 3 - report to local authorities, delclare abuse, ask for referal to women's shelter

That's it. It won't be pretty. She may be tied up in paperwork for hours and end up in a crowded secluded shelter away from friends and school, but she'll be safe and on her way to ridding herself of this guy.

Clean break is the only way.

If she's a citizen of the US, his foriegn military status means nothing, except when it comes to any punishment he may skate way from and money she deserves to support the kids but will probably never get.
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Old 02-10-2009, 03:42 PM
 
Location: Northern VA
798 posts, read 2,478,696 times
Reputation: 354
If he is here on a NATO assignment, he should have a unit he is assigned to that would be another option to consider. But as caution said, she should remove herself and her children from the abuse and report it to the local authorities. She obviously has family that cares about her so perhaps she will have a place to stay while she goes through this.
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