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Old 03-20-2009, 10:52 AM
 
756 posts, read 1,939,529 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hinton Bound View Post
My wife went to exactly ONE wives club meeting when I arrived at my first squadron (I'm an active duty Officer, just finished my Dept Hd squadron tour). My wife works a full day, often 9 hours or more, as a Director of Nursing. The entire "meeting" consisted of wives discussing who their husbands were, who was next in line for the coveted jobs, and how "hard" their stay-at-home lives were. It was as if they had no lives themselves. My wife works a full-time job, makes home cooked meals every night, does the laundry, tends the kids and pets (2 boys, 3 great danes, a snake, a turtle, a fish, and a mouse), and takes care of 3 acres when I'm deployed for 6 months or more. The wives club was nothing more than a place for them to feel good about their "hard" stay-at-home lifestyle, and have a group of like minded. My wife would got a phone call "hey, we're meeting at ______ restaurant at 2:30 on Wednesday, can you come?" "Geez, no I can't, you see I actually have a job". No more invites after that.


Another thing that PO's my wife are those " Army/Navy/Marine wife...toughest job in the military" stickers. She thinks that if they think it's that's tough, try going away from your family for 6 months or more, to places where everyone wants you dead.

Sadly, for Officers anyway, the participation of your wife in the wives club "society" ties directly to your future, above the O-5 level. The services want to promote the "family unit" to Flag rank. They want the dedicated spouse who can host parties, and be the OMBUDSMAN. The CO's wife is usually the President of the wives club. No wonder they feel the sense of entitlement to their husbands rank.

So I can say I know many, many spouses. Very few are little more than spoiled entitlement seekers. All of them? Of course not, but most.
Wow, wonder what your comrades would say if you let your feelings publically known at the next squadron social?

So when you are deployed, if your wife were to need help, who would she call? If there is an emergency or she needs/wants squadron info? I certainly hope she doesn't call those spoiled entitlement seekers.

Most CO/XO wives do what they do for their husbands, not because they want to.
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Old 03-20-2009, 11:52 AM
 
Location: Puerto Penasco, Mexico
967 posts, read 2,646,965 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by usmcfamily View Post
Wow, wonder what your comrades would say if you let your feelings publically known at the next squadron social?
Don't know, I don't go! My Mess name (not callsign) is Mr. PC (politically correct). I don't believe in sugar coating my feelings to make them more palatable- it's accepted. For mandatory fun, I show up, make sure I'm seen by those who need to see me, then I'm out. My family is far more important than hanging out with people I see every day, all day- sometimes for months on end.

Quote:
Originally Posted by usmcfamily View Post
So when you are deployed, if your wife were to need help, who would she call? If there is an emergency or she needs/wants squadron info? I certainly hope she doesn't call those spoiled entitlement seekers.
Through 6 long cruises (6+ months) and an IA of 9 months, she has managed to. She is tough and smart. Able to fix wiring issues, basic plumbing skill, operate most machinery... not bad for a Director of Nursing. We have neighbors that will help if needed. We live in a rural community, help doesn't need to be asked for- it just happens. There is nothing those spoiled entitlement seekers could offer in the way of help- unless it was to tell her how hard it is to be a military spouse![/quote]

Quote:
Originally Posted by usmcfamily View Post
Most CO/XO wives do what they do for their husbands, not because they want to.
I won't disagree there. Many see it as beneficial to the family as a whole, because they all benefit from the promotion. As my wife say's " You are in the Navy, not me". Her work doesn't call me and invite me to social functions (not that I would attend anyway...), and her status at work isn't determined by my participation at her functions. I realize the military isn't corporate America, but I hold fast on my belief that a person should be promoted on their merit alone- not how much spare time their spouse has to socialize.
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Old 03-20-2009, 12:27 PM
 
756 posts, read 1,939,529 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hinton Bound View Post
Her work doesn't call me and invite me to social functions (not that I would attend anyway...), and her status at work isn't determined by my participation at her functions. I realize the military isn't corporate America, but I hold fast on my belief that a person should be promoted on their merit alone- not how much spare time their spouse has to socialize.
My last thought on this is that no one is selected for command because their spouse is social! If you were passed over for command, sorry, it's not because your wife doesn't attend squadron functions.

There are plenty of single CO/XO's that aren't even married! A spouse's social status has no bearing on her husband promotions or lackof.

Over and Out!
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Old 03-20-2009, 03:43 PM
 
3,651 posts, read 8,086,554 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by usmcfamily View Post
No one said a thing about excusing "obnoxious" behavior.
You implied it in your post, or so it seemed. Nobody is saying officer spouses are jerks, period. But there is a notorious % who cop that attitude of thinking they have their spouse's rank and can "use" that to be elitest, often in an obnoxious way.

Quote:
My point was stereotyping a group of people, without knowing them.
? Nobody is doing that here.

Quote:
Curious though, in what capacity did you have the opportunity to get to personally know hundreds of officer spouses/wives?
My lengthy military career. You?
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Old 03-20-2009, 03:55 PM
 
3,651 posts, read 8,086,554 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thechappells View Post
as a former enlisted member (who worked hand in hand w/ spouses on multiple functions) turned dependent spouse, i can say that it is easy to jump to the stereotypical conclusion of these spouses, because the vast majority of them "wear the rank" and get quite obnoxious with it.
I quite disagree that it's the majority. The people we're talking about are, thankfully, the exception.

Quote:
most of the O's wives weren't as bad as the enlisted wives, though (and i'm talking junior NCO wives were the absolute worst of the bunch. . ."your husband is a SSgt not SECAF, ma'am. get over yourself
Really, I never encountered that in AF - odd - (lol @ SSgt wife pulling an attitude)
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Old 03-20-2009, 04:27 PM
 
Location: Puerto Penasco, Mexico
967 posts, read 2,646,965 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by usmcfamily View Post
My last thought on this is that no one is selected for command because their spouse is social! If you were passed over for command, sorry, it's not because your wife doesn't attend squadron functions.

There are plenty of single CO/XO's that aren't even married! A spouse's social status has no bearing on her husband promotions or lackof.

Over and Out!
Thought you might assume that... For the record, I'm not on the Command screen board until Mar 2010, O-5 board Feb 10. I'll be gloriously retired by then, thanks to 8 years of prior enlisted service.

I gotta get out before things get any worse!
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Old 03-20-2009, 05:13 PM
 
756 posts, read 1,939,529 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hinton Bound View Post
Thought you might assume that... For the record, I'm not on the Command screen board until Mar 2010, O-5 board Feb 10. I'll be gloriously retired by then, thanks to 8 years of prior enlisted service.

I gotta get out before things get any worse!
Congratulations! We loved AD but love "retirement", as well! My husband retired right before the economy went haywire and was able to start his "civilian career" at a great job. I feel for you and the others retiring soon. Best of luck to you
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Old 03-20-2009, 05:19 PM
 
756 posts, read 1,939,529 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joey2000 View Post
You implied it in your post, or so it seemed. Nobody is saying officer spouses are jerks, period. But there is a notorious % who cop that attitude of thinking they have their spouse's rank and can "use" that to be elitest, often in an obnoxious way.

? Nobody is doing that here.

My lengthy military career. You?

Left AD an O3. Better for our growing family. Spent the next 15 years as a dependent working/volunteering for MCCS and MCFTB. Did two CO wife tours. Now retired.
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Old 03-20-2009, 07:25 PM
 
Location: Maine!
469 posts, read 1,625,605 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joey2000 View Post
I quite disagree that it's the majority. The people we're talking about are, thankfully, the exception.

Really, I never encountered that in AF - odd - (lol @ SSgt wife pulling an attitude)

you're welcome to disagree, joey. i'm relating my experiences.
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Old 03-21-2009, 06:47 PM
 
Location: Puerto Penasco, Mexico
967 posts, read 2,646,965 times
Reputation: 516
Quote:
Originally Posted by usmcfamily View Post
Congratulations! We loved AD but love "retirement", as well! My husband retired right before the economy went haywire and was able to start his "civilian career" at a great job. I feel for you and the others retiring soon. Best of luck to you
Thanks for the wishes

I owe much to the Marine Corps. My entire Navy career, from my enlisted days of AE "A" school, to 16 weeks of AOCS with Marine Corps DI's, to flight school with Marine Corps instructors, they've always been an impressive group.

Best wishes to you in the "after life"!

Semper Fidelis
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