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Old 10-26-2010, 09:15 AM
 
Location: Home in NOMI
1,635 posts, read 2,209,434 times
Reputation: 740

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Just goes to show that shallow people come in all sizes and sexual orientations...
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Old 10-26-2010, 09:22 AM
 
Location: Minneapolis, MN
7,364 posts, read 13,079,919 times
Reputation: 3375
Quote:
Originally Posted by audadvnc View Post
Just goes to show that shallow people come in all sizes and sexual orientations...
Yeah, I was going to say...that same feedback could be applied to ALOT of heterosexual women in the Twin Cities as well.
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:24 AM
 
1 posts, read 1,386 times
Reputation: 10
I'm in the same boat as you, but I'm stuck here while I finish school. If I go back to the West Coast, I'll end up paying 3 times the tuition - but I sit awake three or four nights a week wondering if that wouldn't be such a bad deal as long as I could get the HELL OUT OF HERE!

When it comes to the things I find desirable, the gay guys here are lacking in almost every category. Nothing personal - let's just say it's "not a fit". Conformity is an earmark of MidWestern people - they seem to be suffering from a widespread inferiority complex. I have lived lots of places and I have NEVER seen so many angry people in one place! The gay guys are pretty much the same - repulsed by differences, confused by creativity, and judgmental of those who don't readily accept the status quo as absolute truth. Ha - it would be easier to put up with if they were at least good looking - and most of them aren't!

Back home I have NO problem getting a date, NO problem making friends, and NO problem expressing myself. Usually when I have difficulties in life I look at myself first, but in this case I already HAVE a frame of reference and know that the location really IS to blame!! As I already said, it's just "not a fit" for me, and my heart goes out to anyone else in the same predicament. Unless you're FROM the MidWest (or you're secretly boring) my guess is that you won't do well here. No big deal - you're not missing much.

I've lived here 3 years - I've spent a lot of that time "working on myself" because I've pretty much given up on dating here. I pity any younger gay guys who might be feeling like outsiders here when just about ANY OTHER CITY (especially ones near an ocean) would serve as a MUCH better alternative. Hmph....that's an understatement.

The point is - if you're feeling the same way, don't wait around and ANALYZE why. MOVE AWAY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!! You have my permission (as someone who's been around) to ignore anyone who tells you it's YOUR problem. Moving to the Twin Cities was (hands down) one of the worst mistakes of my life and every day I wake up excited that I'm one day closer to leaving - They can keep it.
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Old 07-24-2013, 12:23 PM
 
Location: Carver County, MN
1,395 posts, read 2,231,622 times
Reputation: 1241
Quote:
Originally Posted by fullyintegrated View Post
I'm in the same boat as you, but I'm stuck here while I finish school. If I go back to the West Coast, I'll end up paying 3 times the tuition - but I sit awake three or four nights a week wondering if that wouldn't be such a bad deal as long as I could get the HELL OUT OF HERE!

When it comes to the things I find desirable, the gay guys here are lacking in almost every category. Nothing personal - let's just say it's "not a fit". Conformity is an earmark of MidWestern people - they seem to be suffering from a widespread inferiority complex. I have lived lots of places and I have NEVER seen so many angry people in one place! The gay guys are pretty much the same - repulsed by differences, confused by creativity, and judgmental of those who don't readily accept the status quo as absolute truth. Ha - it would be easier to put up with if they were at least good looking - and most of them aren't!

Back home I have NO problem getting a date, NO problem making friends, and NO problem expressing myself. Usually when I have difficulties in life I look at myself first, but in this case I already HAVE a frame of reference and know that the location really IS to blame!! As I already said, it's just "not a fit" for me, and my heart goes out to anyone else in the same predicament. Unless you're FROM the MidWest (or you're secretly boring) my guess is that you won't do well here. No big deal - you're not missing much.

I've lived here 3 years - I've spent a lot of that time "working on myself" because I've pretty much given up on dating here. I pity any younger gay guys who might be feeling like outsiders here when just about ANY OTHER CITY (especially ones near an ocean) would serve as a MUCH better alternative. Hmph....that's an understatement.

The point is - if you're feeling the same way, don't wait around and ANALYZE why. MOVE AWAY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!! You have my permission (as someone who's been around) to ignore anyone who tells you it's YOUR problem. Moving to the Twin Cities was (hands down) one of the worst mistakes of my life and every day I wake up excited that I'm one day closer to leaving - They can keep it.
Wow! Just wow.
Way to categorize a whole region of the USA and the people that inhabit it. I can clearly see the reason why you are having difficulty making friends here.
Don't let the door hit you on your way back to the west coast.
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Old 07-25-2013, 09:51 AM
 
1 posts, read 1,355 times
Reputation: 10
As a Minnesotan, I can see why you would have trouble here. You said you HAVE to be here for school, but you should not limit your search for friends to the people you would meet there. Most of them aren't from Minnesota. If you broaden your search area, you won't find a kinder and more helpful group of people. Maybe it's the cold weather, we have to stay close to keep warm in the winter!

I have traveled extensively as well, and found a huge lack of compassion in many places. You say "just about ANY OTHER CITY (especially ones near an ocean) would serve as a MUCH better alternative". I lived in California for almost 3 years (San Francisco), visited MANY cities nearby, as well as LA, La Jolla, Sacramento, Oakland, and Pasadena. I met some very nice people everywhere, but I met just as many self-absorbed snobs. They would leave you stranded on the highway before lifting a finger to help you, ESPECIALLY if you are from out of the state. And lets not even talk about Florida or New York!! No, people near the ocean may be lucky enough to see an ocean everyday, but it sure does not help their personalities any.

I am a 60 year old straight woman, so your take on the gay community here would be different than mine, of course. However, one of my sons is a 27 year old gay man, ex-model and quite attractive, and has earned 4 degrees at the U of M. When I met some of his friends I found them very sincere, very nice (except 1!!), and quite attractive. Do you think you had such a problem because you were way out of your comfort zone? California and Minnesota truly are completely different in almost every way.

I am sorry you had such a bad experience. When you say you HAVE to be here, of course you aren't going to like being anywhere you don't want to be. Many people come here because it's a well known fact that Minnesota is an easy place to get assistance, except if you're from here! Believe me, if it seems some people have a bad attitude toward non-Minnesotans, there is, at times, a good reason for it. Maybe you should pay a little more for school and not take the benefits you get from such a horrible place. Just saying...
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Old 07-25-2013, 01:31 PM
 
Location: MN
1,669 posts, read 5,671,048 times
Reputation: 948
Maybe all of the people that complain about not being able to find friends should get together and hang out as friends.
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Old 07-25-2013, 01:52 PM
 
Location: Bel Air, California
21,823 posts, read 22,746,627 times
Reputation: 34476
Quote:
Originally Posted by moving123456 View Post
Maybe all of the people that complain about not being able to find friends should get together and hang out as friends.
nahhhh, probably wouldn't like each other much
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Old 07-25-2013, 01:59 PM
 
Location: M I N N E S O T A
14,800 posts, read 18,160,872 times
Reputation: 9046
Quote:
Originally Posted by fullyintegrated View Post
I'm in the same boat as you, but I'm stuck here while I finish school. If I go back to the West Coast, I'll end up paying 3 times the tuition - but I sit awake three or four nights a week wondering if that wouldn't be such a bad deal as long as I could get the HELL OUT OF HERE!

When it comes to the things I find desirable, the gay guys here are lacking in almost every category. Nothing personal - let's just say it's "not a fit". Conformity is an earmark of MidWestern people - they seem to be suffering from a widespread inferiority complex. I have lived lots of places and I have NEVER seen so many angry people in one place! The gay guys are pretty much the same - repulsed by differences, confused by creativity, and judgmental of those who don't readily accept the status quo as absolute truth. Ha - it would be easier to put up with if they were at least good looking - and most of them aren't!

Back home I have NO problem getting a date, NO problem making friends, and NO problem expressing myself. Usually when I have difficulties in life I look at myself first, but in this case I already HAVE a frame of reference and know that the location really IS to blame!! As I already said, it's just "not a fit" for me, and my heart goes out to anyone else in the same predicament. Unless you're FROM the MidWest (or you're secretly boring) my guess is that you won't do well here. No big deal - you're not missing much.

I've lived here 3 years - I've spent a lot of that time "working on myself" because I've pretty much given up on dating here. I pity any younger gay guys who might be feeling like outsiders here when just about ANY OTHER CITY (especially ones near an ocean) would serve as a MUCH better alternative. Hmph....that's an understatement.

The point is - if you're feeling the same way, don't wait around and ANALYZE why. MOVE AWAY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!! You have my permission (as someone who's been around) to ignore anyone who tells you it's YOUR problem. Moving to the Twin Cities was (hands down) one of the worst mistakes of my life and every day I wake up excited that I'm one day closer to leaving - They can keep it.
Go to Manitoba, tuition is very low and the people are very friendly.
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Old 07-25-2013, 02:42 PM
 
Location: MN
1,669 posts, read 5,671,048 times
Reputation: 948
Quote:
Originally Posted by iNviNciBL3 View Post
Go to Manitoba, tuition is very low and the people are very friendly.
If he/she has been in MN long enough, Manitoba even has a tuition reciprocity agreement with MN.

Surprisingly few MN students take advantage of it even though it could save them many thousands of dollars.

I didn't even know about it when I went to college.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MPR
Canada tempts MN college students with tuition reciprocity | Minnesota Public Radio News

Tuition is Manitoba's biggest selling point — a year of tuition at a Manitoban university runs between $3,500 and $4,000. Students from Minnesota can use U.S. federal student loans to pay for tuition at most Manitoba colleges. However students are not allowed to use federal Pell Grant money.

Jillayne Bohlen, 18, of St. Joseph, Minn., is a first-year student at the University of Manitoba in Winnipeg.

Despite being an international student she pays the same tuition rate as Manitoba residents, thanks to the reciprocity agreement with Minnesota.

"I pay $3,800 for tuition. Which is super cheap compared to back home," Bohlen said.

That's about $1,000 less than a year's tuition at a Minnesota community college, a few thousand dollars less than a year at a state-run university, and $8,000 less than in-state tuition at the University of Minnesota.
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Old 09-17-2013, 09:15 PM
 
3 posts, read 9,885 times
Reputation: 11
Default Meeting Others In the Twin Cities

All of the advice given is really good and well intentioned--especially the advice by urbanist. But I have tried all of those things at one time or another and no long term friendships come to fruition. I have lived here all my life and the gays are more unfriendly than the straights. I agree with the other entry that professionals come here and this is a stepping stone for them. The bars have been a total disaster for me and I haven't been in them for twenty years--they are snotty, arrogant, bitchy. Other gays do judge other gays harshly and everyone is looking for the "perfect specimen". I have joined gay clubs and they have their long standing cliques and it takes years to be accepted. Again, the TC area is a very unfriendly area for anyone, gay, straight or bi, and as one other mentioned, people do everything in couples and pairs. People with whom I worked have come here from the east coast and will say how unfriendly it is. I also have tried gay churches and gay friendly churches and these were OK but no friendships. Just keep on moving forward and pray. Its the same for us all. Count your blessings and thank God for your health and stability.
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