Don't scare me from moving to Minneapolis! (St. Paul, St. Peter: high crime, school)

[JanND]

You sound like you are in a very good place now. You seriously need to visit Minneapolis first....because you could be making a huge mistake intending to move someplace that you have never even seen.

[MN_Ski]

Minneapolis has been pretty good to me.

The trick is to not over think, or stress out, about getting burned or rejected by people you meet. There are two kinds of people here. Those who don't want a single new friend, and those who do. Unlike other cities in the country, you will not be able to tell the difference between the two as easily here.

I have found it to be easier to reach out to other transplants, because they will most likely be in the same situation as you. You will find them at meet ups, sport leagues, events, etc. A real easy way to meet people would be to get a bike and join in on the endless amounts of bike related events.

You can find a group for almost any hobby or interest you may have.

Your chances of making friends with strangers here will be much lower than other places. But when you do make friends, even if it takes a number of months, they will become some of the closest friends you can have. Your friend net will also grow with time.

In the end...don't give it on meeting people. It might be a very very strange place, and can sometimes feel like an entirely different country, but after some time you will start to enjoy it here. It will never be as cool as Milwaukee (heh), but it's become a decent second home for me.

[cielpur]

Originally Posted by StPaulGal

I’ve written about this before, but here is my take on the whole “Minnesota nice” thing: It’s about misaligned expectations. I’ll epound.

In my experience, local culture is more friendly toward strangers than the baseline and equally friendly toward acquaintances as the baseline. So this means, for example, that someone here is more likely to offer to help a stranger carry groceries to their car but no more likely to then invite that person out for coffee after than anywhere else. If the recipient of the polite/kind/helpful behavior is accustomed to more brusque interactions, they may misinterpret baseline kindness, reading it as the closeness shared by friends in their home location. Then they feel hurt when it becomes clear that the local does not consider them a friend, at least not yet. Short version: just because people here go out of their way to be nice to you, it doesn’t mean you immediately jump from zero to bestie. Friendships here develop at the same pace as anywhere else, we just treat you with greater-than-average kindness from the start.

Of course the above is a massive overgeneralization. There are friendly people and cold people and passive-aggressive people and aggressive-aggressive people anywhere you go. That’s life.

I personally moved to MSP as a single 24-year-old. I grew up elsewhere in Minnesota, but when I came here I knew precisely one other person and it wasn’t someone I had much of anything in common with. I got out there and met people: in bars, in bookstores, in interest-based Meetup groups, and at work. I had a roommate to begin with, which wasn’t necessary but I found it socially enriching. I dated online and went out with a few people I met by chance. Now I have a great group of friends and a wedding coming up next year. (I wasn’t looking for anything serious at the time, but it found me anyway.)

If this area appeals to you, please don’t let scaremongering and negative Nancies keep you away. Building a new social circle is going to be at least moderately challenging wherever you go. You will see the same kvetching on any other local board in the country, we just have a little buzz phrase that complainers have latched onto.

Hope things work out for you!

I think this post is great insight on this persistent topic, and relates to MN_Ski's point that it may not be as easy here to tell the difference between those who do want new friends and those who don't.

[uptown_urbanist]

Originally Posted by JanND

You sound like you are in a very good place now. You seriously need to visit Minneapolis first....because you could be making a huge mistake intending to move someplace that you have never even seen.

you have a point... but on the other hand, what's life without some adventure? If it doesn't work out he can always move elsewhere, or back. It is SO much easier to move when younger and unattached and without kids.

That said, I'd rent first, not buy.

[PDF]

Originally Posted by uptown_urbanist

you have a point... but on the other hand, what's life without some adventure? If it doesn't work out he can always move elsewhere, or back. It is SO much easier to move when younger and unattached and without kids.

That said, I'd rent first, not buy.

I plan on visiting before moving, but I don't have to. I moved sight unseen to Raleigh and the city is just what I had thought it would be. Minneapolis is also a city I've endlessly researched for years and years. But I'll definitely rent for at least the first year.

[Minnesota Spring]

Originally Posted by PDF

I plan on visiting before moving, but I don't have to. I moved sight unseen to Raleigh and the city is just what I had thought it would be. Minneapolis is also a city I've endlessly researched for years and years. But I'll definitely rent for at least the first year.

Come up and visit! I'd be happy to show you around (on a Saturday or Sunday). All you'll need is a light rail ticket and a bicycle. Seriously, I grew up near Kansas City and I don't see much of a difference between people there and in MSP. You will meet people at work and any other groups that you join. There are a few organizations here that exist to help singles meet as well. Just don't end up moving to some far flung suburb and if you have a non-abrasive personality you'll be fine. People are people, even the natives But there are also many transplants from other states and countries here.

[Ray Yakavonis]

Why Minneapolis tho? Minneapolis is alright but Raleigh to MSP sight unseen seems pretty random.

[JamieKaiser]

We are not scary. This metro is one of the best in the nation. That said, it's not for everyone and it seems those who dislike being here get a louder voice than they should. We hesitate to talk-up or flaunt our greatness, it's just the Scandinavian way.


When are you looking to move?

[StPaulGal]

More positive news: I just saw that Minneapolis was named the #14 best city for singles for 2015.

[Port Pitt Ash]

Originally Posted by PDF

I'm a single male about to turn 26, so meeting people is paramount. Actually, dating is far more important to me than meeting new friends...but both are important. Here in Raleigh, I'm thriving in this so-called family-friendly city. People here are friendly, and I've met cool people in the most unexpected ways.

The feeling I got from the whole "MN Nice" thing (and experience with Midwestern people) was that dating would be no problem, but I wasn't so sure about long-term friendships. It's not Seattle or anything. Minneapolis is still the Midwest and relationships tend to be deeper than say out west. It may just take a little longer.

At 26 I'd say you're in the prime range for living in the Twin Cities so long as you're interested in nightlife, quality of life, and are career focused. People who are still in their wild party stage seem to go to Chicago for a while before coming back. If that's the case for you then you'd probably find it boring. It's not LA or anything, but for the Midwest it has surprisingly good nightlife. If you're into catching music shows in smaller venues it's a great city for that too.

I don't have a lot of experience with Raleigh, but if it's anything like Charlotte I'd pick Minneapolis 10 out of 10 times over it.

One of the things I noticed was around the time you get to the Madison area of the Upper Midwest you really see a change. A lot of people in the Twin Cities are into physical fitness and it's very noticeable. The women were more attractive as a whole than other cities as well. By comparison on the return trip through Indianapolis it looked really lousy when held to the Twin Cities' standards.

Maybe if you gave a list of places you're familiar with I could dial in the social level and dating scene better for you?

As far as to why I never ended up moving to Minneapolis/St. Paul was the winter cold and my preference for walking to get around. Where I grew up -5 was cold and 20s and 30s was the winter norm. But after having been in a -40 degree freezer I know exactly how cold Minneapolis can get and how dangerous that can be.

Living in the south has made me soft. Now 25 is about as cold as I'm willing to go.