Any Southerners in Minnesota?? (Chaska, Fergus Falls: appointed, fit in, wedding)

[joeyonastick]

My partner moved here (Southern Mn.) 6 months ago from Atlanta. The first thing he noticed was "Minnesota Nice".

[cjckco]

When I first moved to Minneapolis 18 years ago, I, too, was impressed with the "Minnesota nice" people. But what I've come to learn since is that's it's very superficial. People can be nice, but it's not genuine.

It's also impossible to make friends here if you're from out of state. The natives who have grown up here have their friends and family from high school days and have no need to include outsiders in their circle of friends. (I've also heard this from others who have moved here.) Or if you do happen to make friends with a native, they'll do activities with you alone, but not include you with their other friends. I have lived in the north and south before moving here and have never had a problem making friends until I moved here.

I am looking forward to moving south where the people are genuinely friendly and want to get to know you.

[rcsteiner]

Originally Posted by cjckco

When I first moved to Minneapolis 18 years ago, I, too, was impressed with the "Minnesota nice" people. But what I've come to learn since is that's it's very superficial. People can be nice, but it's not genuine.

I lived in MN for almost 41 years, and I never smiled at anyone or said hello if I didn't mean it. There were times when I helped people out -- I mainly did it because it seemed like a helpful thing to do. I'd hate being stuck in the snow or mud myself in a car, and I like having doors opened for me when I have my arms full. That's why I do similar things for others.

Maybe we have different definitions of "nice"...? Or maybe you made a mistake by moving into the city itself instead of the suburbs?

It's also impossible to make friends here if you're from out of state. The natives who have grown up here have their friends and family from high school days and have no need to include outsiders in their circle of friends. (I've also heard this from others who have moved here.) Or if you do happen to make friends with a native, they'll do activities with you alone, but not include you with their other friends. I have lived in the north and south before moving here and have never had a problem making friends until I moved here.

I had a large group of friends that I'd built up through high school, my work, college, and various other spin-offs of those things, and I admit that the fact that I had so many friends made it less important for me to go out of my way to meet new people. However, I had no issues at all bringing new people to meet the rest of my friends if they had some of the same interests.

I am looking forward to moving south where the people are genuinely friendly and want to get to know you.

I've been in Atlanta for almost four years now, and I really don't see much difference between folks here and folks up there. Some are open, some aren't. Welcome to humanity.

[rcsteiner]

Originally Posted by joeyonastick

My partner moved here (Southern Mn.) 6 months ago from Atlanta. The first thing he noticed was "Minnesota Nice".

What did he notice? I live in Atlanta now (well, the NW suburbs), and people tend to smile and wave here just as much as they did up in the Twin Cities.

Of course, small town MN might be different. I don't know...

[moving123456]

Originally Posted by TheNip73

I've been to Charlotte a few times for work and from what I have seen, I love it. Maybe in a few years I will relocate.

Originally Posted by BlackOut

I lived in Charlotte for a short time. I liked it's location and the weather was descent. I found it to be far too boring however. Its local music scene was awful and the people acted as though Charlotte was the only city in the US experiencing growth. It was quite funny.

I made the Charlotte move a few years ago. I also loved it during visits, but loved it much less after actually moving there. I am now back in MN.

[J_Lurk]

I'm from NC and I lived in St. Paul for almost 10 years and moved back to NC in 2003. The problem I found was that many people in Minnesota were from there and had no idea what it felt like to relocate. Yes, they were nice, but they didn't invite you home. I don't think that means that Minnesota Nice is superficial, it was just that they had their own social life and they assumed you did too because they hadn't had the experience of relocating. If you explicitly say to them "I would really like to meet some new people" then you'll see a little light bulb go off and they will invite you along, but they don't usually guess that on their own.

Here in NC, I'm in the reverse situation, because so many people are moving to the area and I'm the one with an established social group and I often feel apologetic that I'm unable to spend as much time as others at impromptu meet-ups. It's just a function of being a native vs. being a new resident wherever you are.

[rcsteiner]

Originally Posted by J_Lurk

I'm from NC and I lived in St. Paul for almost 10 years and moved back to NC in 2003. The problem I found was that many people in Minnesota were from there and had no idea what it felt like to relocate. Yes, they were nice, but they didn't invite you home. I don't think that means that Minnesota Nice is superficial, it was just that they had their own social life and they assumed you did too because they hadn't had the experience of relocating. If you explicitly say to them "I would really like to meet some new people" then you'll see a little light bulb go off and they will invite you along, but they don't usually guess that on their own.

I think there's a lot of truth in what you say above.

While I think the people in general are very similar between the Twin Cities and Atlanta, for example, the influx of new people here in Atlanta has been tremendous -- the Atlanta metro has been averaging 100,000 new people a year for the past decade plus! That means that transplants like myself are all over the place, and the neightborhood we moved into here is a mix of perhaps 40% native Georgians and 60% people from someplace else. It does make for a different set of social assumptions -- one of the things people ask a lot down here is "where are you from?"

[gball721]

Interesting posts, all.
My parents (I'm a Maryland native now living in NC) have a lake house outside Walker, MN, and so I'm lucky enough to travel up there for some R&R each summer. Was just there and on my trip home (via MSP) I again was impressed with the 'polish' of folks (regular rural folk, and city folk) in Minnesota. For example, customer service (like the folks behind the counter at Hertz, or waiters at restaurants) workers seem to actually take more pride in their work than you see elsewhere, and it shows. Minnesota is the only place where I've seen this part of the U.S. work ethic shine so brightly. In the south, the northeast, etc., customer service folks don't seem to care, or not care much. Perhaps there's some facade in MN. folks putting on a happy face, but at least they really seem glad to be renting you that car. It puts a local, caring face on an otherwise huge corporation. And it's not robotic, forced-- seems genuine to me. Just a little personal perk to dropping 100's of bucks on an 11 day car rental-- seeing a smile and polite tone just is nice once in a while as a 'customer'. A 'polite' moment that stands out from my visit was my stop at the I-94 rest stop eastbound just outside I-494 (near St Michael or Rogers, I guess?-- heading back south/east from the lake to MSP). I threw out some trash in the garbage can near the pull-in/parking lot, but also had an aluminum can to toss, but the recycling can was maybe 100 feet out of the way (opposite direction from the bathrooms, where I was headed) so I walked over to the recycling and tossed the can. Suddenly I hear someone say "Thanks for recycling!" And I thought "What the?!" - it was a sheriff's deputy?? or security guard for the rest area in plain cloths but an embroidered badge??? (star) on his shirt, just thanking me for making that little extra trip to the correct bin. I swear I don't think that sort of simple thank you would be as likely to be heard elsewhere. Minnesota just has a unique thing going on when it comes to politeness and polish. Two cents, and ramblings; but there it is.
Mike in NC

[BlackOut]

Originally Posted by J_Lurk

I'm from NC and I lived in St. Paul for almost 10 years and moved back to NC in 2003. The problem I found was that many people in Minnesota were from there and had no idea what it felt like to relocate. Yes, they were nice, but they didn't invite you home. I don't think that means that Minnesota Nice is superficial, it was just that they had their own social life and they assumed you did too because they hadn't had the experience of relocating. If you explicitly say to them "I would really like to meet some new people" then you'll see a little light bulb go off and they will invite you along, but they don't usually guess that on their own.

I lived in Charlotte for a short time and then Denver before making the move to Minneapolis and I haven’t had any issues with meeting people (native Minnesotans, transplants or immigrants). Most people here seem so different than those from or moving to the Charlotte area. The same can be said about Denver, but to a lesser extent.

Originally Posted by J_Lurk

Here in NC, I'm in the reverse situation, because so many people are moving to the area and I'm the one with an established social group and I often feel apologetic that I'm unable to spend as much time as others at impromptu meet-ups. It's just a function of being a native vs. being a new resident wherever you are.

I find your statement very odd being the Twin Cities area has added over a million from 1980 to 2007. During this time the state of MN has also grown. None of NC’s metro areas have added this many residents during the same time. So where have those million plus people been coming from? Whatever the case, your issue with not being able to meet people must have had something to do with you, not the people from or those moving to the Minneapolis area.

[BlackOut]

Originally Posted by rcsteiner

the Atlanta metro has been averaging 100,000 new people a year for the past decade plus!

That is some sick growth.

Atlanta's metro population in 1980 was 2,233,236. The 2007 estimate was 5,122,983.