Any Southerners in Minnesota??

[StPaulEastSider]

My husband grew up in Brunswick, GA... we met in Atlanta in 1990... i'm from here so we moved up here when we got married.

:-)

davis [dot] susan [at] gmail [dot] com

[fitra]

Originally Posted by Aylalou

That's the problem. The effort is one-sided and one would think the newcomer would be made to feel more welcome if for no other reason than being a newcomer.

Amen!

[uptown_urbanist]

I'm a Minnesota native who lived in the south for a time, and many of my coworkers told me that they thought I fit in more closely than they would have expected, being a "yankee" and all. They thought that aspects of the so-called "Minnesota nice" - in this case the desire to avoid direct confrontation as well as the genuine attempt to be friendly to everyone - meshed well with some of the stereotypical southern hospitality. I don't know if it does or not - I'm just throwing it out there to provide some more feedback from someone who made the reverse move. I also found it extremely difficult to meet people there. While everyone was always very nice -much nicer than in some of the other areas I've lived in many ways - it was tough to make that leap from casual acquaintance to actual friend. Maybe we're not so different after all.

I am sometimes surprised about things that my Minnesotan in-laws consider to be "intrusive" - they think they're being nice and not "bothering" me, while I wonder if they just don't care. (they do - it's just cultural differences at work. I'm MN in many things, but perhaps my non-MN-raised parents rubbed off in other ways.)

I think that it's good to discuss cultural and regional differences on boards such as this because if nothing else it helps remind people that although we all may be living in the same country there are still some major underlying cultural differences between regions. Most of us wouldn't go to a foreign country and expect people to act the same - we'd know that there were unspoken ways of doing things that would take time to understand. Minnesotans aren't meaner or less caring than people other places in the world. As an example, here's one Minnesotan's take on the complaint that Minnesotans don't invite newer friends to hang out with their older friends: the Minnesotan might not want to make the new friend feel uncomfortable or bored hanging out with a bunch of people who already know each other. Sure, the new friend could turn down the request to come if they weren't interested, but the Minnesotan doesn't want to put the friend in a position of feeling obligated to come. In other words: Minnesotan thinks he or she is being nice, new friend feels slighted. Cultural differences at work, but not as expected as they would be, say, if the new friend was trying to make friends in Paris or Hong Kong.

As someone else pointed out earlier, be polite but direct: "I would like to meet new people and to feel like a full member of this community." I think most Minnesotans would be happy to oblige if they know what it is that you want and how they can help. Expecting people to know what you need or want and then complaining when they don't help isn't fair and doesn't help anyone in the long run.

[summer grace]

Originally Posted by cjckco

When I first moved to Minneapolis 18 years ago, I, too, was impressed with the "Minnesota nice" people. But what I've come to learn since is that's it's very superficial. People can be nice, but it's not genuine.

It's also impossible to make friends here if you're from out of state. The natives who have grown up here have their friends and family from high school days and have no need to include outsiders in their circle of friends. (I've also heard this from others who have moved here.) Or if you do happen to make friends with a native, they'll do activities with you alone, but not include you with their other friends. I have lived in the north and south before moving here and have never had a problem making friends until I moved here.

I am looking forward to moving south where the people are genuinely friendly and want to get to know you.

Quite true! The truest friend I ever found is my online friend from New Orleans- N. O. is quite friendly- if you want to read examples, look at my last post before this one. I'm a native midwesterner, and have never lived anywhere else ( I'm only 22) but hope to eventually. I highly recomend getting to know people from the South. Just my opinion.