Finding friends for newcomers (Minneapolis: house, neighborhood, school)

[janeno]

Any tips on how to make new friends in the cities?

I and my SO moved to Minneapolis from a different state about a year ago. We truly love the city and the area: lots to do, all 4 seasons, good higher education, etc.

However, the only problem we have is finding friends. We are a couple around the mid-twenties, both educated, and currently in grad school. I am a very social person, so it's very different for me not to have that many friends. I lived in other states, and never had this problem before. I have tried inviting people out or organizing get togethers, but every time people either cancel, are too busy to come, or come by and it stops at this point. I feel like I keep trying without any response back. Most of the people who I have met are from this area or WI, so maybe they already have their own groups and don't want any newcomers in their groups.

Does anyone has any tips or suggestions where or how I can meet people who are also interested in meeting new people? I would prefer meeting people who are in their twentieth, and love going out, having a couple of drinks (NOT getting drunk and passing out though), hold an interesting conversations, and just relax.

[bloomingtonsteve]

Explore the churches in your area. There are many, many faith communitites in the metro area.
You two could also take a community education class. Find one that you could do together. That would guarantee you'd get to know some other people who enjoy that same topic.

Just a couple ideas for you.

[Slig]

Getting involved in your neighborhood might be a good place to start. Find your neighborhood organization and see what kind of volunteer opportunities there are. That was a great way for us to meet our neighbors when we moved into a house this spring.

[Jeanie Hoholik]

Google newcomer clubs in your area. If you are going to be living on the west side of town, a great one is Suburban West Area Newcomers (SWAN). It's fun, inexpensive to join and open to everyone. I have lived all over the Midwest and always join a newcomer's club when I arrive at my new city. I'll send you a private note with my email address so that you can contact me if you are interested in more info.

[WannaBeinBoston]

What you're experiencing is typical of this area. We still experience this after living here for many many years. The way I describe it, they like you enough to flirt with you, but don't really want to date you.

[What!]

Originally Posted by WannaBeinBoston

What you're experiencing is typical of this area. We still experience this after living here for many many years. The way I describe it, they like you enough to flirt with you, but don't really want to date you.

LOL. If you're talking about meeting people I've heard and read that it is worse in Boston. They have threads dedicated to Boston and how the dating scene sucks, the people are outwardly rude, and they are cliquish.

But don't let me deter you in any way. Have a great time in Boston. My brother lives in Brighton. It's much more walkable than Minneapolis and you'll see a lot of historic architecture. Happy New Year.

[fitra]

Sorry to tell you this, but MN is not known for being genuinely interested in making new friends. They like to call themselves MN nice (as if nice needs to be redefined). MN nice is a facade for stoicism which plagues MN top to bottom.

I've been here a few years and have made friends with people that are not from here really easily.

The ones that have had enough of the standoffishness have moved away. I will be one of those very soon. MN is the weirdest place I've ever been when it comes to socialism. They missed that class cuz they were all out at the bars having happy hour.

You can only do so many happy hours before people want to learn more about you as a person. That's when the walls come up seemingly from outta nowhere.

Sorry!

[fitra]

Originally Posted by WannaBeinBoston

What you're experiencing is typical of this area. We still experience this after living here for many many years. The way I describe it, they like you enough to flirt with you, but don't really want to date you.

Amen sistah or brothah or whoever. That is the perfect description.

[janeno]

To the above responses,

We are not religious so the church is out of the question. I tried googling newcomers clubs but it seems that most of them are either in suburbs or for young mothers. I am not a mother and we live downtown Minneapolis.

Are there any other suggestions?

[rcsteiner]

Originally Posted by fitra

Sorry to tell you this, but MN is not known for being genuinely interested in making new friends. They like to call themselves MN nice (as if nice needs to be redefined). MN nice is a facade for stoicism which plagues MN top to bottom.

MN Nice has to do with the residents' tendency to help others in need, and has nothing much to do with "friendship" at all.