Meeting people in Minneapolis... (school, live, stores)

[Irish40]

I moved to a small suburb of St. Paul in September and am originally from Indianapolis where I had a great core group to do things with who had different interests. People at work are very "Minnesota Nice." We have had a couple of people in our neighborhood say "hi" but that is as far as it goes. My husband's parents are from MN and my husband tends to be reserved. Therefore, the lack of friendship does not bother him. However, I am truly miserable in spite of the fact we have a wonderful 2-year-old, and I have a job which is pretty nice since it is family-friendly. Just writing to say I empathize with you.

[DancerYoung26]

Hello!

I just moved here 2 weeks ago after getting married in January. I've lived in Northern CA/ SF Bay Area to be exact my whole life! I went to college in San Diego. I miss home and have no friends here besides my husband! I have been searching for a new dance studio to join or find networking groups.

Where do you work? Any other suggestions

[kathryn marie]

Originally Posted by jenne03

As someone who MAY be moving to Minnesota in the near future..hearing that Minnesotans are closed off from new people worries me. However, i think people being with the friends they met awhile back happens everywhere. It is similar here in Maryland.

However, here in Maryland there are people from all over the place so you find a few...Usually the ones that have recently moved here.. that are looking for the same thing...making friends.But that is one my biggest concerns, I want to be in a place where people watch out for each other and get into a neighborhood where people let you in..as opposed to here in md where we have houses upon houses but yet we don't know each other. I also live in an area where if you don't have a hummer or escalade...than you not worthy.

Since i came from a place where making friends was easy..I am miserable here in Md.

I came from pitt..where i was welcomed as soon as i moved in...and invited to all the girls get togethers ...and made great friends there who I still get together with...It scares me that maybe it was a unique situation..which i will never be able to get back..

I love mn and find people very friendly... then again I grew up in CA

[chilaili]

Originally Posted by Pickle Spears

I'm confused... Why don't all of you transplants who are having a hard time meeting people all get together???

Don't take it the wrong way, but it makes perfect sense to me!

I think that us Minnesotans, most of us being reserved Scandanavians, just keep to ourselves and the familiar more than others.

(Minnesotans are HUGELY family oriented and have a tendency to stick with the friends they made in kindergarten. I used to say they get married in the 8th grade! That's why there are no single people in the Twin Cities )

There used to be a club in Minneapolis for exactly that purpose! 12 years ago, when I first moved there, the local news had an item about a woman who was also an "immigrant", had had the same difficulty making friends and so set up this monthly meeting group, taking place at some nice club or bar venue, specifically for other out-of-staters who were having difficulty making friends. I can't remember the name of the group or even if it's still going but Googling might track them down.

Another option is to look very carefully at the types of people you want to make friends with. After a couple years I realised that the people I had most in common with the "outsiders". Minnesotans who definitely did NOT fit the norm. These were people who'd lived in other states or countries, weren't married but living in sin (shock, horror!), were outspoken and politically active or just plain eccentric (vegetarian, long haired, etc ). They are out there trust me! A running club is probably a good way to meet people or volunteering at the zoo or joining the MIA and going to their social events. Even taking a class somewhere might be good, whether it's glass-blowing or Chinese for Beginners at the community college. Keep us posted how you're doing.

[sushigirlie]

yes, it is difficult to become friends with people from Minnesota.
my best advice is to make friends with other transplants like yourself. They are more open-minded, real and welcoming.
You are not missing out on anything by not hanging out with minnesotans from the twin cities...

[golfgal]

The funny thing about this entire post is that if you go from board to board here for all the different states you will find a post almost exactly like this "the natives are so unfriendly, so hard to get to know...".

[K-Luv]

I can understand some of the difficulties in making friends in Minnesota, and like most my group of friends were mostly compiled of people from away. But I think that I am different, though. For one I will impose myself on others. If I here of something going on that I want to be a part of I will let it be known that I want to take part in it myself, and if I am not invited then I would just show up (well, I guess that it depends on the circumstance).

Another thing is the scene that I am involved in-mainly skateboarders, punk rockers, and bar flies. These types of people are generally interested in meeting others like them, so that was not a problem for me.

I also made alot of my friends from work-which was a restaurant. In case you are not familiar with the service industry-it's employees generally like to, well, party. So that was an easy route to make friends as well.

It seems as though alot of people on here who are having trouble making friends are too shy or too professional. I get the impression that you are either sitting on your bum waiting for someone to come up to you or you are trying to do the social activity thing.

Meeting people is a two way street and takes effort on your part. In Minneapolis probably more effort then would be needed elsewhere, but it still needs to be done.

I think that the easist way to meet people, though, is to hang out at a bar-reguarly. Not a club, just a regular old bar. Maybe that might sound pathetic, but you got to keep in mind that the bar scene is considered a normal activity in Minnesota and no one will look down on you for going 3,4, 7 days a week. In fact, you'd be considered the odd man out for not doing it. Even my friends who don't drink still hang out at bars because that is where everyone is at.

[sushigirlie]

Well, i am not sure that I would want to hang out at the bar in order to meet people. That's not the kind of people i want to meet. And I kinda don't want to end up in AA.

I would much prefer to meet people in a more traditional way. But since you mentioned, that it seems that meeting people at the bar is easier that other venues, that just goes to show how pathetic Minneapolis social culture is!!

[K-Luv]

Originally Posted by sushigirlie

Well, i am not sure that I would want to hang out at the bar in order to meet people. That's not the kind of people i want to meet. And I kinda don't want to end up in AA.

I would much prefer to meet people in a more traditional way. But since you mentioned, that it seems that meeting people at the bar is easier that other venues, that just goes to show how pathetic Minneapolis social culture is!!

Pathetic!?! Yes it is very normal behavior in Minnesota and Wisconsin to frequently frequent a bar.

Yes there are really cool people who avoid the bar scene, but not everyone who hangs out at bars are losers or potential AA candidates.

One thing you need to know about Minnesota in general-people here like to drink. That does not mean that they are alcoholics, or that they drink heavily, or admit to either. It just is what it is.

Pathetic to some, a way of life for others but as an outsider you really can't judge.

Anyways, to each their own.

And, for the record, I dropped out of the bar scene a couple of years ago.

[TheManWithoutQualities]

20-something gay dude from the NYC metro. area originally but living in Los Angeles and considering relocation to Minneapolis. My two cents: this may be limited to the gay scene but I have found people to be very, very friendly in the Minneapolis-St. Paul either. I do think the gay scene tends to be more cosmopolitan (in the sense that people tend to be more likely to be transplated from elsewhere) but I think sampling the bar culture a little is probably conducive to meeting new people. I would also suggest adult education classes, etc. Basically, it pays to be active as opposed to passive in one's attempt to meet people...but I do realize it's more difficult when one is older.