Meeting people in Minneapolis... (St. Paul, Welcome: sales, college, to live)

[nick is rulz]

Typical example of socializing in Minnesota:

Go out with a new friend, new friend introduces you to their circle of friends...conversation revolves around circle of people talking about their jobs or **** they know which basically leaves you out of the loop altogether with little room to interact. Next time you hang out, the tables are reversed, and the person experiences the same.

My sister is very social, and she moved to the east coast recently and she has noticed a big difference in how people socialize there vs here.

[Slackajawea]

I'm so glad this topic came up! I love Minnesota and I adore Minnesotans, but I have never felt like such a total social reject in my life! Minnesotans are so nice, and such good people, but connecting with them is next to impossible. As others on this thread have said, Minnesotans tend to form their social networks early and have them for life, and once the network is establishing, there's no getting in. It's very frustrating.

There's a group called Twin Cities Transplants that you might like and they have tons of activities. The woman who founded the group did so because she ran into the same problem making friends here. The group is full of non-Minnesotans looking to make friends. There are a whole bunch of subgroups based on ages and different interests, so chances are you'll find something you like.

[sushigirlie]

Originally Posted by Slackajawea

I'm so glad this topic came up! I love Minnesota and I adore Minnesotans, but I have never felt like such a total social reject in my life! Minnesotans are so nice, and such good people, but connecting with them is next to impossible. As others on this thread have said, Minnesotans tend to form their social networks early and have them for life, and once the network is establishing, there's no getting in. It's very frustrating.

There's a group called Twin Cities Transplants that you might like and they have tons of activities. The woman who founded the group did so because she ran into the same problem making friends here. The group is full of non-Minnesotans looking to make friends. There are a whole bunch of subgroups based on ages and different interests, so chances are you'll find something you like.

Well, you'll do yourself a huge favour if you avoid Minnesotans and their social circles. It's a pure dissapointment. Transplants are the only people worthwhile interaction. In general, I found native Minnesotans quite dull, boring and narrow-minded. There are exceptions of course, but the majority is not exactly igniting my interest

[sugarbeet]

I grew up in rural Minnesota. As I moved around to other states in my 20s, it seemed to become increasingly harder to meet people. I've lived in RI, NY/NJ, MI, FL and am now in Mpls. Maybe it's the standoffish Norwegian in me, but I didn't have an easier time meeting people in other states than here. I think it has more to do with age and life stage. As someone said, if you are single (or partnered and childless, depending on your age), people seem less interested in getting to know you. Everywhere, in my experience.

One interesting phenomenon I've experienced moving back to MN - even my own cousins are not that interested in hanging out. They have a child but are younger than me. I guess it's for that reason that they only invited me over once in three months after I initiated contact and have not contacted me since, even though my husband moved here a month ago and you'd think they'd want to see him.

I guess the best solution for anyone new here is to be independent and see if you can get together with other newbies.

[doublesuited77]

i think alot of this depends on neighborhoods. I live in Minnetonka and 75% of my development is newbies so it has never really been an issue.

[moma24]

We have only been in Minnesota for six weeks, but we have found it incredibly hard to make connections with people. We got our kids involved in scouts which was incredibly difficult. People would just not call me! I would call and call and call and e-mail, etc. It was like pulling teeth to get them involved. I have found the same for the homeschool network. I was very careful to try to line things up before we even made the move so that we would have a smooth transition and would make some new friends quickly. I made contact with the head of the group and found that I could not get involved. What's that?? How can you not be open to newcomers??? I understand having a large group, but I think people should keep in mind, especially in a city that chances are you are going to have new people show up who want to meet people and make accomadations for that. When I moved to Dubuque, Iowa, my lifeline was getting involved in a mom's group. No one turned me away. And even as the group grew, instead of saying no to new people coming in, they formed two groups!!!
No one has been very welcoming and I have worked hard at trying to get involved. Even when I manage to strike up a conversation with someone, I always feel as if I am waiting for them to say something. No one says any more than what they have to. Very awkward. We have lived in Des Moines and found making friends to be very easy. People genuinely wanted to get to know you. Your neighbors came outside and visited with each other. People brought you plates of cookies to welcome you to the neighborhood and we always got a lot of "If there is anything I can do for you, don't hesitate to let me know" People I have met have seemed very "standoffish" to me. I hate to generalize, but so far that is all I have seen. I mentioned in another post how the only person I really know is a native Iowan who has been here seven years and still doesn't feel like she belongs here. Maybe instead of searching for a home, we should be searching for another job back in Iowa. I thought maybe if we went to a smaller town that might be better. From the conversation in this thread, I am wondering if that is really the case or not. Hard to believe what a huge change in such a short distance. We have even run into this at the church we have been attending! I got a call from someone who is a long time member of the church and the community to welcome me. Well, in our conversation I was basicly told that I probably would not want to buy a home and stay in Eden Prairie as it is such an affluent town. What is welcoming about that?

[avalanche538]

I moved here 2 months ago from Cali with my 14 yr old son to be with my boy friend .He text me today that he is breaking up with me . I have no friends here either . I feel really lost.

[nick is rulz]

wow...text message breakups, thats cold.

[doublesuited77]

Originally Posted by moma24

We have only been in Minnesota for six weeks, but we have found it incredibly hard to make connections with people. We got our kids involved in scouts which was incredibly difficult. People would just not call me! I would call and call and call and e-mail, etc. It was like pulling teeth to get them involved. I have found the same for the homeschool network. I was very careful to try to line things up before we even made the move so that we would have a smooth transition and would make some new friends quickly. I made contact with the head of the group and found that I could not get involved. What's that?? How can you not be open to newcomers??? I understand having a large group, but I think people should keep in mind, especially in a city that chances are you are going to have new people show up who want to meet people and make accomadations for that. When I moved to Dubuque, Iowa, my lifeline was getting involved in a mom's group. No one turned me away. And even as the group grew, instead of saying no to new people coming in, they formed two groups!!!
No one has been very welcoming and I have worked hard at trying to get involved. Even when I manage to strike up a conversation with someone, I always feel as if I am waiting for them to say something. No one says any more than what they have to. Very awkward. We have lived in Des Moines and found making friends to be very easy. People genuinely wanted to get to know you. Your neighbors came outside and visited with each other. People brought you plates of cookies to welcome you to the neighborhood and we always got a lot of "If there is anything I can do for you, don't hesitate to let me know" People I have met have seemed very "standoffish" to me. I hate to generalize, but so far that is all I have seen. I mentioned in another post how the only person I really know is a native Iowan who has been here seven years and still doesn't feel like she belongs here. Maybe instead of searching for a home, we should be searching for another job back in Iowa. I thought maybe if we went to a smaller town that might be better. From the conversation in this thread, I am wondering if that is really the case or not. Hard to believe what a huge change in such a short distance. We have even run into this at the church we have been attending! I got a call from someone who is a long time member of the church and the community to welcome me. Well, in our conversation I was basicly told that I probably would not want to buy a home and stay in Eden Prairie as it is such an affluent town. What is welcoming about that?

Wow-- I don't think that is particularly typical. Personally, I would recommend looking at Minnetonka or Plymouth since those communities (especially MKTA) have a much higher % of out of towners. In my townhouse development, at least 75% are non-natives. And the non-natives have always been quite welcoming.

[kuan]

I dunno, I'm transplanted Californian and I seem to have enough friends. Just depends on what you do I guess. I mean, birds of a feather.... right? Just find some Minnesotan things to do.