My thoughts on "Minnesota Nice" (Rochester, St. Cloud: fit in, apartment)

[kim825]

well the ones I have encountered that aren't very "nice" ARE orginally from MN. We can always tell the ones that aren't from here because they are much friendlier and geniune people we come across.

[kuan]

I'm not from MN, and I'm nice. But like native Minnesotans I'll just be non-confrontational.

[roneb]

kim825 wrote: "well the ones I have encountered that aren't very "nice" ARE orginally from MN. We can always tell the ones that aren't from here because they are much friendlier and geniune people we come across."

Maybe things have changed in the two decades since I finished college in MN, but I have always found the opposite to be true. The people I knew in college and those I have met here on the West Coast that grew up in the Midwest have tended to be the most genuine and sincere. I think part of the confusion is that people in the Midwest are more reserved and tend to avoid drawing attention to themselves. This doesn't jibe well with the "Hey look at me!" attitude that is so predominant in the U.S. today.

A lot of the extroverted behavior I see others calling open and genuine, I call superficial and self-centered. I laugh when I here people say they "Tell it like it is," and if someone is offended, hey they're "Just being honest!" Unless you've got a very well developed sense of tact, that's not being genuine, that's being rude!

I for one, would love the opportunity to move to MN; and have no concerns about the quality of the people I will meet if I get that chance!

[Auntie Bob]

Well, this is something I've been studying on since I first saw the video "How to talk Minnesotan" by Howard Mohr

For anyone that hasn't read the book or seen the video, I'd heartily suggest you do so. Although it's supposed to be comedy/satire, it comes about as close to describing 'us' as anything I've ever seen/heard and certainly far better than "Fargo".

There were so many things in there that I never realized were particular to "us". I thought that was what everyone did/thought.

As far as "Minnesota Nice" goes, I think one poster hit it on the head when he said we do the "nice" kinds of things simply cuz "we don't mind".
We'll give directions, help out if something needs fixing etc.

I don't know what people expect from MN Nice though. Do they assume that's going to mean overly 'friendly"? By and large, Minnesotans aren't overly anything, especially outgoing. Well, except maybe for passing the time of day with a perfect stranger in line at the grocery store or waiting for the bus.

I think a lot of what makes us, us is the Scandinavian influence that the early immigrants had on Minnesota culture. Even if you don't have a drop of Scandinavian blood running through your veins, my guess is that you've been strongly influenced by it just the same. Especially if your ancestors came from a rural area or the north country.

Scandinavian people are generally stoic. We don't get overly emotional about anything...not happy, sad, mad anything. We're very controlled when it comes to emotions.
And like one poster said, God forbid we'd ever do anything to call attention to ourselves.
I think some people percieve that as stand-offish when, it's really not.

I've been on another forum with a guy from Denmark for a few years and we've discussed a lot of things that really made me understand our Scandinavian heritage a lot better and...how it's influenced the culture of MN.

One of the most eye-opening is The Jante Law (Janteloven). The "us" the laws refer to is meant to be the common collective or the whole of the community.
It's a purely fictional work but, truly captures the essence of being raised "Scandinavian".

Also on this page is a description of "The essence of Nordishness" which I think so clearly typifies Minnesotans. This is especially interesting where it covers visiting other peoples homes and relationships in general.
2.6 The essence of Nordishness

Mind you, my opinions are all formed from living in small northern communities so, those in and around big cities may not see any resemblance to anything in their lives or upbringing. Also, those younger than 50ish may not see anything familiar in it since, things are always changing here and moving away from what once was.

[Auntie Bob]

Originally Posted by roneb

A lot of the extroverted behavior I see others calling open and genuine, I call superficial and self-centered. I laugh when I here people say they "Tell it like it is," and if someone is offended, hey they're "Just being honest!" Unless you've got a very well developed sense of tact, that's not being genuine, that's being rude!
!

I think this is just about perfect. We generally don't voice an opinion on things unless it's something we feel very strongly about. I think it's basically because many of us, in the back of our minds, think about that old saying, Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. Or, something like that.
And, I think we do try to be careful of not offending people.
I think in general, Minnesotans are VERY real people but, we aren't very emotional and we aren't very demonstrative.

[kim825]

It's been a long day so I know I once again won't articulate what I'm thinking well. But really, this thread again shows the sheer ignorance Minnesotans have about what kind of people they really are.

I've lived in 3 different neighborhoods in the past 10 years here in MN so I've had some experience. (different in many ways other than location.) It has nothing to do with Minnesotans being reserved tactful polite folks.........
The Minnesotans I've come across are so full of themselves. Seem to have such a "I'm better than you" attitude. And as far as tact, far from it. Maybe they won't tell me to my face or others to their face but the gossiping they do! Well since moving here, it feels like HS again (and no, in my experience it isn't this bad through the rest of the country.) So you never really no what they think of you. As far as helping out if needed, ha! My husband and I moved our entire house in the middle of January and many neighbors (and so c`alled friends) watched us struggle with the moving and 4 kids 6 and under never once offering to help. People where I come from would offer to help without thinking twice. People here wouldn't want to be bothered.

Additionally, I'm a Mom of 4 kids so I have some experience in saying this. I must add that the way Minnesotans talk to their kids in most cases is laughable. They treat them like little adults and their polite out in the world talk is hilarious. I mean, come on. The reasoning with a 2 year old is out of control up here. I can't wait to see these spoiled unprepared kids 15 years from now......

Anyway, I'm getting off track. I don't know when I'll learn to not even look at these funny threads on Minnesotans. I wish you all could go out into the rest of the country for awhile and check out other folks to get a true understanding of yourselves. You aren't all you've got yourselves cracked up to be.....

[thomjoe]

kim825-

Sorry your experience has been nothing but depressing in MN. I find this very odd, as I have met folks from all over PA living in MN who are so happy here, and would never want to move back east. I am not a native Minnesotan, but a Midwesterner from a small city who has lived for 23 years in the Twin Cities, and have been fortunate to travel the world. I just like coming back here. And many Minnesotans have "gotten out to the rest of the country". That's why we do come back.


There is "NICE" everywhere you go, if you choose to find it.
Good luck on your move back to PIT

P.S. The PIT transplants in MSP used to hang out to watch Steeler games at the Starting Gate Bar on W.7th in St. Paul. Not sure if that still exists.

[Auntie Bob]

Originally Posted by kim825

It's been a long day so I know I once again won't articulate what I'm thinking well. But really, this thread again shows the sheer ignorance Minnesotans have about what kind of people they really are.

I've lived in 3 different neighborhoods in the past 10 years here in MN so I've had some experience. .....

Originally Posted by kim825

But now that we live in Lakeville I finally feel like I'm in a small welcoming community and I actually love it here. Even though it's a larger suburb the southern part and downtown feel like a small town. Parks, schools, services, shopping and now a new Lifetime fitness. It's tremendous here. Not to mention that it's been ranked among the top 4 places to raise a family in various reports.
I just wanted to share that a former unhappy Shakopee resident is thrilled to be in Lakeville. Good luck

[roneb]

Originally Posted by kim825

I wish you all could go out into the rest of the country for awhile and check out other folks to get a true understanding of yourselves. You aren't all you've got yourselves cracked up to be.....

Harsh judgement considering I not from Minnesota - though I went to college there. For the record, I've live in Philadelphia, Anchorage, Bozeman, MT, Kennewick, WA and Portland, OR. Apart from some of the people in Alaska, by and large I'd have to rate the people I've met in or from MN as nicer and more genuine.

[rcsteiner]

Originally Posted by kim825

It's been a long day so I know I once again won't articulate what I'm thinking well. But really, this thread again shows the sheer ignorance Minnesotans have about what kind of people they really are.

It *is* hard for someone to see themselves as others see them, and some folks never come close. However...

I've lived in 3 different neighborhoods in the past 10 years here in MN so I've had some experience. (different in many ways other than location.)

Where? Suburban? Rural? Urban? That can make a HUGE difference.

The Minnesotans I've come across are so full of themselves. Seem to have such a "I'm better than you" attitude. And as far as tact, far from it. Maybe they won't tell me to my face or others to their face but the gossiping they do! Well since moving here, it feels like HS again (and no, in my experience it isn't this bad through the rest of the country.) So you never really no what they think of you. As far as helping out if needed, ha! My husband and I moved our entire house in the middle of January and many neighbors (and so c`alled friends) watched us struggle with the moving and 4 kids 6 and under never once offering to help. People where I come from would offer to help without thinking twice. People here wouldn't want to be bothered.

Wow... Yeah, it sounds like your neighbors were a bunch of jerks, but it also sounds like a very different place from the areas in the Twin Cities I've lived (Eden Prairie, Bloomington, and Minnetonka).

Anyway, I'm getting off track. I don't know when I'll learn to not even look at these funny threads on Minnesotans. I wish you all could go out into the rest of the country for awhile and check out other folks to get a true understanding of yourselves. You aren't all you've got yourselves cracked up to be.....

Hey, I've lived in the Atlanta metro now for almost three years, and while I find folks to be nice down here for the most part (we've met a lot of really nice people, actually), I'd much rather live in the Twin Cities, and the people up there are a large part of the reason. The number of ripoff artists and folks who seem to hold very little regard for the law seems **much** larger down here percentagewise.

I guess your experience with Minnesotans is simply different from mine -- I certainly met my share of jerkwads up there in the 40+ years I lived there, but they weren't the norm by any means, and I see a *LOT* more confrontation on a daily basis down here in Georgia...