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^ Where do you live? Honestly, I just have a tough time believing these accounts. My kid didn't know any kids in his elementary school prior to starting, and I don't think that's unusual. Plenty of our friends -- and my son's friends -- moved here from other cities, states, or countries. Half of the population in Minneapolis was born elsewhere, so even if you were to automatically write off 50% of the population just because they were born in this state, that still leaves you with an enormous population pool of potential friends. I think it's tougher as an adult with school-age kids, just because it can be tough to carve out time with work and family obligations. I'm not saying it's not tougher, mostly because so many (although not as many as the complainers seem to think) people ARE from here, and their time is so taken up with lots of extended family obligations, but we're in 2014 now, and there are LOTS of people, including families, who have moved here from other places.
I don't have any experience with Rochester, but given its status as an international medical center I would assume that there is likewise a fairly high percentage of families moving in from other places.
Are you saying malleesmom made this up? See this from several years ago on the Denver forum:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Family of five
I was just looking through Mike from Back East's index - truly an amazing job! and the thread on Italian restaurants got me thinking.
My DH is of Italian descent, so our last name is Italian. Growing up in Pittsburgh, this was of course common, but we have lived in Mpls and St. Paul, MN for the past 14 years. We were stunned at the negative feedback we got beginning on the first day we arrived here. At least 90% of people here mispronounce our last name (repeatedly - some people I have corrected countless times), and I cannot tell you how many Mafia "cracks" we have both received. This is a constant thing for us - the last Mafia comment was from the plumber who came a couple of days ago.
It made us feel incredibly unwelcome and has made living here unpleasant for us. We are planning on moving to Denver this year and I am wondering/fearing a repeat of this behavior. We are planning on relocating to Littleton.
Any thoughts? Thank you so much.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Family of five
We can't fathom why anyone cares, either. Coming from a place where it was a "non-issue" to a place where we are constantly receiving rude/jokey comments was a complete, and unwelcome, shock. We were just stunned at first, and now expect (and receive) comments almost every time we meet someone new who is not a transplant.
Thank you all for the comments, although I have to say that in no way do we consider ourselves "victims," just tired of ignorant people feeling like it's OK for them to comment on our name. I don't ask African Americans (or any other "stereotypical" person - don't jump on me for this, I am just trying to make a parallel here) if they are gang members - why is OK for people to ask us if we are part of a Mafia family? Rude, ignorant, and hurtful, in my opinion.
We Denverites assured her that would be unlikely to happen in Denver b/c Denver has a longstanding Italian community. However, when I re-posted the same post on "General US", it touched off a firestorm from some Minnesotans, some of whom claimed they didn't believe her:
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennifat
I honestly don't believe that. Mafia jokes? Really? Nobody in the Twin Cities would bat an eye at an Italian surname. They're not completely unheard of around here....
I work with a woman whose name is Farinella, and went to high school with a Scatterelli and a Panzavecchia. You certainly do hear a lot more Swedish, Norwegian, and German names, however.
Quote:
Originally Posted by steel03
Same, I went to school with a Bianchi, a Fusco, a Grado, a Messina, and an Andreone (as well as about 50 Petersons, Andersons, Olsons, Larsons, and Jensons and -sens).
Growing up in St. Paul, I had good friends from Japan, Malaysia, South Korea, Australia, Namibia, Laos, Egypt, and Taiwan. My best friend's mom used to make us tuna sushi after school.
I'll ask what I asked then:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana
How can you disbelieve someone's experience?
As to Minneapolis' demographics, yes, slightly less than half the residents were born in another state. However, when you look a little closer, you see that 45% of Minn. residents lived in the same home 5 years earlier; 45% of those who did not live in the same home lived in Hennepin County, and 42% who did not live in Hennepin County lived in Minnesota. In other words, of 1000 people, 450 lived in the same house five years ago; of the remaining 550, 302 lived in Hennepin County; of the remaining 148, 62 lived in Minnesota, for a total of 814 living in MN 5 years earlier, roughly 80%. St. Paul's demographics are similar, though even more Minnesota-centric. It's not a real mobile place.
As for malleesmom's post, I think it's a good example of "see yourselves as others see you". (As an aside, I like these posts on the Denver forum.) Our daughter moved to MN this past fall and we went there over the 4th of July to visit her. Despite all the talk about "Minnesota Nice", both she and her bf have been victims of hit and run since moving there, something that never happened to my DD even in Aurora Colorado, a place known for its high crime rate. Nor did it happen to the bf in Boulder, a place known for people who don't really give a **** about other people. Her cell phone was stolen. The police are a constant presence in their neighborhood. Their apartment house has a big-time security system, and a fence and gate at the front. Even my DH, who runs a little more paranoid than me, said he'd find it annoying to have to deal with all the security. The neighbors complain if you park your car in front of their little walking path to the street from the sidewalk, this in an area with little off-street parking.
And I can't tell you how many times that I heard that Minneapolis/Minnesota has the best this, the only that, whatever in the entire country. I asked my other daughter, who went to college in MN how the Minnesotans stand themselves. All this greatness!
My parents and distant family are from michigan but I've lived in minnesota most of my life. I lived with a single working class parent though in the suburbs with wealthy two parent households and moved a couple times while in school so it was harder to keep friends. I have to agree that i do think it's harder to make friends in Minnesota. Minnesota though has a lot going for it. Great health care!! for sure! good schools!! low crime...Also it's more liberal leaning which i happen to be.. but when I lived in Arizona for school is where i found i had the most active social life and i did make friends easier.
Are you saying malleesmom made this up? See this from several years ago on the Denver forum:
We Denverites assured her that would be unlikely to happen in Denver b/c Denver has a longstanding Italian community. However, when I re-posted the same post on "General US", it touched off a firestorm from some Minnesotans, some of whom claimed they didn't believe her:
I'll ask what I asked then:
As to Minneapolis' demographics, yes, slightly less than half the residents were born in another state. However, when you look a little closer, you see that 45% of Minn. residents lived in the same home 5 years earlier; 45% of those who did not live in the same home lived in Hennepin County, and 42% who did not live in Hennepin County lived in Minnesota. In other words, of 1000 people, 450 lived in the same house five years ago; of the remaining 550, 302 lived in Hennepin County; of the remaining 148, 62 lived in Minnesota, for a total of 814 living in MN 5 years earlier, roughly 80%. St. Paul's demographics are similar, though even more Minnesota-centric. It's not a real mobile place.
As for malleesmom's post, I think it's a good example of "see yourselves as others see you". (As an aside, I like these posts on the Denver forum.) Our daughter moved to MN this past fall and we went there over the 4th of July to visit her. Despite all the talk about "Minnesota Nice", both she and her bf have been victims of hit and run since moving there, something that never happened to my DD even in Aurora Colorado, a place known for its high crime rate. Nor did it happen to the bf in Boulder, a place known for people who don't really give a **** about other people. Her cell phone was stolen. The police are a constant presence in their neighborhood. Their apartment house has a big-time security system, and a fence and gate at the front. Even my DH, who runs a little more paranoid than me, said he'd find it annoying to have to deal with all the security. The neighbors complain if you park your car in front of their little walking path to the street from the sidewalk, this in an area with little off-street parking.
And I can't tell you how many times that I heard that Minneapolis/Minnesota has the best this, the only that, whatever in the entire country. I asked my other daughter, who went to college in MN how the Minnesotans stand themselves. All this greatness!
I don't disbelieve a poster's experience, but I do think some people experience a place in ways that simply do not jibe with those of most other people. I also find it hard to believe that someone with an Italian surname would experience the type of harassment that is outlined above. I think anyone who grew up in MN can list many folks of Italian ancestry that were part and parcel of their community. It was a complete non-issue. It is definitely true that MN is not the most diverse state in the nation. The Twin Cities is one thing, the rest of the state is quite another, and the latter is pretty homogenous with Scandinavian and German ancestry being predominant.
You seem to have a bone to pick with MN. Why would you send a second daughter to the state when you've had such sour experiences there?
Regarding your last point: I think it's somewhat valid. IMO, Texas and MN are similar in that, relative to the states around them, they have a fair bit to be proud of, but that pride can appear a bit inflated to folks that have been around the block a bit more. I do think MN is the gem of the midwest and even nationally I think it's underrated; but I do agree that the elitist tendency is partly due to a provincial lack of experience.
I hardly "sent" my daughter to MN. She's 27 years old and she and her bf went there to live b/c he's from MN and believes some of this nonsense.
I don't have a bone to pick per se, I just get tired of hearing about all this "greatness". For example, this DD was volunteering at a wildlife rehab center which was supposed to be the only one in the entire US (according to what they told her.) Right after she started there, there were several articles in our local Colorado paper about such facilities here. I did email her the articles. Many other examples. I just feel if I hear one more time about how MN has the best this or the only that in the country, the world, the universe, probably even the Milky Way, I'll scream at the person telling me!
I hardly "sent" my daughter to MN. She's 27 years old and she and her bf went there to live b/c he's from MN and believes some of this nonsense.
I don't have a bone to pick per se, I just get tired of hearing about all this "greatness". For example, this DD was volunteering at a wildlife rehab center which was supposed to be the only one in the entire US (according to what they told her.) Right after she started there, there were several articles in our local Colorado paper about such facilities here. I did email her the articles. Many other examples. I just feel if I hear one more time about how MN has the best this or the only that in the country, the world, the universe, probably even the Milky Way, I'll scream at the person telling me!
Goodness. Sounds like you have some built up pressure to let off. Given the family dynamics you describe, the forecast is looking iffy. Good luck!
In most other cities, these "Judgmental Maps" get a good laugh, or an eyeroll, and that's it. You guys can't handle any suggestion of imperfection.
The Denver "Judgemental Map" didn't even make the Denver Post.
I think you misinterpreted my post. Nothing's wrong with your family dynamics--how the heck could I presume to know anything beyond what you've told me? I simply mean that you state that you have a daughter with a BF that believes MN is an inherently superior place and you state that you want to scream at the next person that implies anything like that. Somethings going to give there, and I genuinely wish you good luck!
Minneapolis / St. Paul, Minnesota? I finally understood that "Minnesota Nice" thing here. The downtown was nice. The people were nice. The lakes were nice. The food was nice. Everything was nice. I couldn't wait to get out of there.
I hardly "sent" my daughter to MN. She's 27 years old and she and her bf went there to live b/c he's from MN and believes some of this nonsense.
I don't have a bone to pick per se, I just get tired of hearing about all this "greatness". For example, this DD was volunteering at a wildlife rehab center which was supposed to be the only one in the entire US (according to what they told her.) Right after she started there, there were several articles in our local Colorado paper about such facilities here. I did email her the articles. Many other examples. I just feel if I hear one more time about how MN has the best this or the only that in the country, the world, the universe, probably even the Milky Way, I'll scream at the person telling me!
It looks as though Cleverfield (a poster who often enters Minnesota forums to trash Minneapolis and/or Minnesota) has a soul mate!
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Nobody in the Twin Cities would bat an eye at an Italian surname. They're not completely unheard of around here....
