U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Minnesota
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-09-2015, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Ravenswood
5 posts, read 6,219 times
Reputation: 12

Advertisements

I moved to Chicago in September to be with my boyfriend. I am now suffering from being homesick. I cry and really miss my family and friends. I just went to Minneapolis to visit and all I did was miss it and cry. I really want to make it work in Chicago but at the same time I want to move back home and get my old routine back, being with friends and being with family. I feel like I took that for granted when I moved, I didn't realize how much I would miss my family. I am Latino and I have always been near my family. My parents tell me to move back but my boyfriend won't move back up since he lived there for 2 years already and did not like it. He is not close to his family (divorced) and he is very independent. I'm afraid of moving back home and not finding anyone to love. My love life was rough before I met him. I wonder if it's worth to suffer from this homesickness or just move back home and get my old life back. I get scared sometimes. Any suggestions?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-09-2015, 01:02 PM
 
744 posts, read 725,398 times
Reputation: 1571
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jarfred View Post
I moved to Chicago in September to be with my boyfriend. I am now suffering from being homesick. I cry and really miss my family and friends. I just went to Minneapolis to visit and all I did was miss it and cry. I really want to make it work in Chicago but at the same time I want to move back home and get my old routine back, being with friends and being with family. I feel like I took that for granted when I moved, I didn't realize how much I would miss my family. I am Latino and I have always been near my family. My parents tell me to move back but my boyfriend won't move back up since he lived there for 2 years already and did not like it. He is not close to his family (divorced) and he is very independent. I'm afraid of moving back home and not finding anyone to love. My love life was rough before I met him. I wonder if it's worth to suffer from this homesickness or just move back home and get my old life back. I get scared sometimes. Any suggestions?
If you moved in September, you've only been in Chicago for 5 months. Maybe give it a year and see how you feel then? Minneapolis will still be here in 7 months.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-10-2015, 09:18 AM
 
Location: Ravenswood
5 posts, read 6,219 times
Reputation: 12
Yes that is true. I just feel like I am missing out on things back home but Chicago has so much to offer than Minneapolis. I keep telling my self that I need more time and hopefully that will help.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-10-2015, 09:57 AM
 
159 posts, read 142,022 times
Reputation: 131
Ditto Thedosius. It takes a while to settle in. You know, life is a gamble. Nobody can ever tell you what decisions are the best ones for you (which is what keeps fortune tellers in business, and what makes life so scary sometimes). I would give it a year or two and see how you feel then. In the mean time, maybe try out some good Latino restaurants, and engage in some activities you enjoy (maybe join a gym?). Live it up! Consider that your life can have many paths and choices and then give yourself to the new experience, knowing that you can always move back to Minneapolis at some point in the future.

Ohmygosh, Chicago can be a fun city!!!! I would apologize for the weather, but you come from MN.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-10-2015, 11:52 AM
 
Location: Ravenswood
5 posts, read 6,219 times
Reputation: 12
Thank you Thedosius and and Group Hug. It is sure a struggle but I can feel the light at the end of the tunnel. What makes me sad is my parents. My dad retired at at the early age of 50 due to chronic back pain and early Parkinson's. His life is very limited. He can't sleep at times and he spends most of the day going to the Mall and walking around and staying busy. I have a hard time trying to be happy with my life knowing that my dad is sick and lives his life that way. I know I have to start my own life here in Chicago but I just cant get that image of my dad out of my mind. I sometimes think that I should find him some kind of activity to do in the morning while my mom is at work and my sister is at school. Something that he can leave the house and know that he can contribute to society versus going to the mall and walking around. He needs to talk to people instead of staying home and talking to the dog.

I have joined meet up to make friends but because of the winter I don't have motivation to go out. I have started going to the gym recently and it has been helping. This last visit to Minneapolis was sad though. I really want to find something for my dad to do in the mornings. Any suggestions for a 57 year old person who has limitations to lifting heavy items and can't bend? (I should probably post this on another thread). Thanks!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-11-2015, 01:56 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,489,790 times
Reputation: 23714
Its normal to be homesick for even a couple years. If you love your boyfriend and really see a future with him, give it time. Get involved in new activities and make friends.

Its sad your dad is dealing with that, but it isn't your job to fix it. He is a grown man. Sounds like he is doing what works for him right now.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-11-2015, 08:35 PM
 
1,304 posts, read 1,090,787 times
Reputation: 1471
It takes at least two full years of not three before you know of it is good for you. Heck I think it took us five years... I cried a lot at first but when I finally stopped comparing where I was to home (minnesota) I started to enjoy the new locale for what it had to offer. Minnesota was always "home" though.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2015, 03:07 PM
 
77 posts, read 121,102 times
Reputation: 93
Thanks guys! I am focusing on loving my boyfriend and being there for him. I am looking on the bright side of things and will stay positive. I am excited for the summer so I can meet people and roller blade outside! My passion!
Thanks for the advice!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-31-2016, 01:41 PM
 
1,304 posts, read 1,090,787 times
Reputation: 1471
Feeling this way today I sure do miss Minnesota. We moved for family but also left my family. I'll give it 3 years max. We've only been here for 6 weeks and I feel like a big adult baby because I'm just in that blocking phase where all I can think about is Minnesota.

Sigh... only 44 days until we get to visit Meanwhile I should probably enjoy the beautiful PNW eh?!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2016, 08:40 PM
 
42 posts, read 93,056 times
Reputation: 41
I don't know. I have a hard time advising without knowing much about your boyfriend and you. The fact that you guys can't live in MN because he didn't like it doesn't seem right. In the end, if you are still with him, I'd think you'd live somewhere where you both like it. Chicago might be it, but I don't really know. I left my home state 8 years ago and I miss it so much. I'd go back but MN cost-of-living is better and we've made many friends here.

Good luck
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Options
X
Data:
Loading data...
Based on 2000-2016 data
Loading data...

123
Hide US histogram

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Minnesota
Similar Threads
View detailed profiles of:
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top