Is It Really That Hard to Make Friends in Minnesota? (Brainerd: restaurant, mall)

[tinky]

I just had to respond to this (even though it's a loooong thread already!). My husband and I moved from New England to an 'ex-burb' of the TC last summer. I grew up in Michigan but he's from CT. We have had NO trouble making friends!

In the 10 months since we've been here we've had a rockin' holiday party that included friends from my work (which is 40 minutes away) and others. We've become close to a neighbor couple with whom we regularly get together for dinner, drinks, cookouts, etc (they are both native Minnesotans). We joined a couple of dining and sports groups on meetup.com and have met some great folks through that. Oh, and this past weekend 20 folks from the neighborhood came over for a cookout and stayed _10 hours_ (these are middle-ages folks with kids!). We had a great time and one of our normally somewhat keep-to-themselves neighbors sent us a thank you note saying what a great time they had and they'd love to go it again.

My point? Go out and introduce yourself! Join some groups or classes (sports, church, book clubs, dog obedience....whatever, anything, just put yourself out there!). Invite folks over for dinner or coffee. Don't wait for people to come to you. We're pretty social folks and we haven't really been disappointed when it comes to meeting and hanging out with people since we moved here. Yes, we've done a lot of the initiating, but once we reel 'em in it's all good! ;-) And who really cares who extends the invitation, anyway, as long as it's a good time?

Tinky

[poofie]

Originally Posted by jkc1970

Ughhhhhhh

Lutefisk is horrible!!! I am not Scandinavian, but I have many friends that are....They were forced to eat it on Christmas Eve when they were kids. It was the tradition in many families.....Now, that they are adults, they wouldn't touch it with a 10 ft. pole.

[poofie]

Some VFW posts do have lutefisk on Friday nights!! Now that the smoking ban is in effect, you can smell the lutefisk stench much better, and it lingers on and on......

[Hunter Wold]

Vell I tell you sometin...I think its in the genes...
My Bestemor and Bestefar raised me on creamed codfish and meatballs etc and some Lute...we my wife loves it and I love..

I think it involves a couple things...where did it come from. how was the fish dried and prepared...fresh or frozen etc. I was in the seafood business in Seattle and I know my fish...

I like it both with butter and the a cream a sauce. Also ya gota have the best potates with it and of course the Lefse...I make a lute taco type with it....mmmm

I guess my heritage really speaks out here....

Oh, ve don't a wait until Santa time to enjoy this...

See ya on the Lake..

Hunter Lars Wold and M

[MN2CO]

Originally Posted by ald608

Interesting what you say... you would think that being a transplant then they would get together. I as a single girl did move to many large cities of the country mostly for school or work. Denver, Atlanta, Chicago and I did come from the Midwest near Chicago. I was shocked to find how superficial and non interested most people were to even try to connect. I was never sure really why and wondered if most people were too needy and depressed to just make any effort. After Denver I moved to Atlanta and my whole world changed. Within three months I had an entire network of friends and felt the depression of living in Denver under such un social conditions to just lift. Atlanta opened up to be a very supportive, open and more than willing to network city. Everyone always said.... call this person or contact this person and contacts were shared proudly and freely. I always think this is one of the reasons why Atlanta has such a high small business/ enterpreuneur success rate, people network freely and are not threatened to do so. I now live in Minnesota for almost four years now and found it to be bitterly unfriendly. I live in a very good neighborhood and was never welcomed or included to feel ANYTHING, although I have offered much to my neighbors it has never been recipricated or any experience to make me feel anything. It's quite odd and often i can walk down my neighborhood streets and say HI with no response in passing. It all seems so odd to me and very odd that they call themselves Minnesota NIce. Yes, technically they are polite but it is superficial to passive aggressive and i have many times heard them say negative things about the outsiders that come here.... right to my face. It is rude, insensitive and not understandable. Whenever I hear Minnesota NIce, for me, it's a reminder of unpleasant experiences. NOw Southern Hospitality.... that is real to me and brings a warm smile. Sorry Minnesota but it is my experience and it seems like people here have no idea how to put themselves in anothers postion since they have never been or moved anywhere else. They don't need anyone else nor are they interested. It is a shame. I am a great neighbor but have no one to appreciate or want it! For me it is a disappointingly unfriendly place and I have lived in eight states. I still work very hard and keep hopeful that I will find nice people. We call it Minnesota ICE not NICE... it is what we have experienced. It feels not normal to me... I have had wonderful neighbors in my life.

I couldn't agree more.....

I have lived in MN all my life, except 2 years in CO. When I moved back it seemed like the entire social climate had changed. Friends had move away and since I had never had trouble making friends in the past I thought OK -this should be easy. Wrong.......12 years later and there have been many acquaintances - no real true friends. It's all superficial - very lonely - I moving back to CO - to Colo Springs. At least I will get better weather and gorgeous mountains. I really hope this changes for you - semd me a private message if you want to talk more.

[cavewoman]

I am begining to think you folks in Minnesota are pretty funny.
I met a few witty folks in Minnesota, so I am begining to think there is hope there.

I love the check list the guy above wrote.... tooo funny.

How about keeping your ice defroster or whatever you call those funny sticks in your car all year long...

How about not telling anyone where you are really from???

Perhaps placing your lawn furniture in front of your hiouse so no one steals your parking spot that you just shoveled. (oops) sorry that was CHGO., mY bAD

[rcsteiner]

Originally Posted by cavewoman

How about keeping your ice defroster or whatever you call those funny sticks in your car all year long...

I still have a half-dozen ice scrapers in my trunk down here. It seems strange to do that now that I'm in Atlanta, but now and then I actually use one.

(The big brush on one of them is useful for removing pollen from my car in the spring, too!)

[mardybum]

I have lived in different places around the world, but I've never found anywhere to be as difficult as MN is for making friends. I cannot wait to leave this state. "MN nice"? -my arse!

[slamont61]

Ok, I don't know who here IS living in Minnesota... However it has been found to be the single best kept secrate in the United States. Who Knew it was this beautiful? I certainly didn't.

I'm in a small town in Northern Minnesota, about an hour or so east of Fargo. All the small towns in the area have some sort of charm about them. The touristy Park Rapids that is like stepping back into the past. It's down town area is so very much like what all small towns looked like in the 50's, back when LIFE in the US was probably at it's best.

People are genuinely nice to one and other. People help anyone out for no other reason than they need it. Folks will go out of thier way to help out, from snow removal to road side assistance. Sure we have our bad apples here. Some nebby neighbors too. Why not? No area would exist without them all.

This area is where the city folk flock to on vacations to get away from the Rat Race of life. We have it good here because we live here. My little city is an e-commerace community, fiber-optic wired with High Speed Internet. We are not living in the past. We have the best of both worlds, technology and small town rural life. You be'cha. Where ever I go in town folks know me or know of me. At the stores I'm addressed by my first name. We are ALL friendly, towards each other and those passing through. Me, I can walk the streets at night and NOT worry about crime. My house is not locked - don't know where the keys are. My car keys, well they are in the ignition. Except when I take the 20 minute drive to Walmart. Yep, that's how far I have to go to find civilization, even if it's only a 3500 population area. Complete with McDonalds, Subway and BurgerKing. I'd rather eat at one of the local joints though. At my local cafe, where I'm also addressed by my name, it's friendly and reasonable. Oh there is some crime. It does happen. Like I said, there always will be a bad apple or two. In this case they do not ruin the bunch.

Now as you get further along towards the Twin Cities, you get St Cloud. That's kind of City like and is really not the sticks in any way. The entire twin cities area is not rural at all. It may as well be Wisconsin for what it's worth. It's a big city area. A few hours away and it's paradice. Who knew?

[cavewoman]

Good for you. I agree on some of the stuff you mentioned. The nice waves and welcome throughout Minnesota can be nice. I just struggled with real true friends and that I am sure takes time anywhere you go.