Is It Really That Hard to Make Friends in Minnesota? (Duluth: apartment, townhouse)

[LaceyEx]

ALD-great post and so true. People we've met want to know our address BUT never ask them their address. That's why we're headed back east after 3 yrs. here. Passive aggressive/insulated is the right description.

We have lived in 3 states and never experienced what we did here. And it is a shame-more sad for them than for us for they missed meeting caring,giving people.

[rcsteiner]

Originally Posted by nick is rulz

thank you. It drives me nuts when people say saw-naw

That actually appears to be a valid pronunciation according to some dictionary sites.

[Jeanie Hoholik]

When was the last time you were in a sauna?

[lilamae217]

Originally Posted by ald608

Interesting what you say... you would think that being a transplant then they would get together. I as a single girl did move to many large cities of the country mostly for school or work. Denver, Atlanta, Chicago and I did come from the Midwest near Chicago. I was shocked to find how superficial and non interested most people were to even try to connect. I was never sure really why and wondered if most people were too needy and depressed to just make any effort. After Denver I moved to Atlanta and my whole world changed. Within three months I had an entire network of friends and felt the depression of living in Denver under such un social conditions to just lift. Atlanta opened up to be a very supportive, open and more than willing to network city. Everyone always said.... call this person or contact this person and contacts were shared proudly and freely. I always think this is one of the reasons why Atlanta has such a high small business/ enterpreuneur success rate, people network freely and are not threatened to do so. I now live in Minnesota for almost four years now and found it to be bitterly unfriendly. I live in a very good neighborhood and was never welcomed or included to feel ANYTHING, although I have offered much to my neighbors it has never been recipricated or any experience to make me feel anything. It's quite odd and often i can walk down my neighborhood streets and say HI with no response in passing. It all seems so odd to me and very odd that they call themselves Minnesota NIce. Yes, technically they are polite but it is superficial to passive aggressive and i have many times heard them say negative things about the outsiders that come here.... right to my face. It is rude, insensitive and not understandable. Whenever I hear Minnesota NIce, for me, it's a reminder of unpleasant experiences. NOw Southern Hospitality.... that is real to me and brings a warm smile. Sorry Minnesota but it is my experience and it seems like people here have no idea how to put themselves in anothers postion since they have never been or moved anywhere else. They don't need anyone else nor are they interested. It is a shame. I am a great neighbor but have no one to appreciate or want it! For me it is a disappointingly unfriendly place and I have lived in eight states. I still work very hard and keep hopeful that I will find nice people. We call it Minnesota ICE not NICE... it is what we have experienced. It feels not normal to me... I have had wonderful neighbors in my life.

It's sad to admit...but as a lifelong Minnesotan, I must agree with that characterization. Maybe not so much that we're superficial...I think we're a thoughtful and intelligent people overall. But it is nearly impossible to make new friends here. People are too clique-y...they hang around with the same people they've known since childhood and have no desire whatsoever to form new close friendships.

If you want to know my story, most of my close friends have moved away, unfortunately...and others have gotten married and settled down w/families. Once that happened I found myself totally alone....and depressed. Loneliness
hurts.

I'm a very outgoing and friendly person...the ideal kind of people I enjoy hanging out are like Jon Stewart types-edgy/funny/unpretentiously intellectual/good-spirited. This is a RARE animal in MN. My coworkers are 99.9% married w/kids, dead-eyed, boring, middle-aged male republicans. I've tried meeting people online, through meetup groups,transplant groups, bookclubs, friends-of-friends, and other social events with no luck. I either end up getting freaked out by some wierdo latching on to me or I just feel like I do not fit in at all.

[Lereca]

Originally Posted by lilamae217

It's sad to admit...but as a lifelong Minnesotan, I must agree with that characterization. Maybe not so much that we're superficial...I think we're a thoughtful and intelligent people overall. But it is nearly impossible to make new friends here. People are too clique-y...they hang around with the same people they've known since childhood and have no desire whatsoever to form new close friendships.

If you want to know my story, most of my close friends have moved away, unfortunately...and others have gotten married and settled down w/families. Once that happened I found myself totally alone....and depressed. Loneliness
hurts.

I'm a very outgoing and friendly person...the ideal kind of people I enjoy hanging out are like Jon Stewart types-edgy/funny/unpretentiously intellectual/good-spirited. This is a RARE animal in MN. My coworkers are 99.9% married w/kids, dead-eyed, boring, middle-aged male republicans. I've tried meeting people online, through meetup groups,transplant groups, bookclubs, friends-of-friends, and other social events with no luck. I either end up getting freaked out by some wierdo latching on to me or I just feel like I do not fit in at all.

I agree with what you say, I am a Minnesotan, lived here my whole life and I have been having a hard time meeting new people. I have had friends move away, my siblings are in different states. The few older relatives I did have, have passed away. I once had a very large social circle of friends and family, now its down to just a few and it gets lonely. I have children and husband, but the once active life I had with friends is a thing of the past. My neighbors are friendly and you have your friends at work but noone ever seems to really want to connect in a real friendship. If you have not been friends with someone since you were young, your not going to become friends. We go to San Diego every summer for two weeks and during that time I have met more people who seem to actually want to have good time and get to know you then I do here in whole year.

[Lereca]

Originally Posted by Jeanie Hoholik

When was the last time you were in a sauna?

Last week.

[kuan]

Originally Posted by Jeanie Hoholik

When was the last time you were in a sauna?

Yesterday.

[rcsteiner]

Originally Posted by Jeanie Hoholik

When was the last time you were in a sauna?

Maybe 1978 or so? Okay, so it's been a little while...

[kuan]

Originally Posted by rcsteiner

Maybe 1978 or so? Okay, so it's been a little while...

What are you talking about? You live in a sauna... well, a steam room.

[rcsteiner]

Originally Posted by kuan

What are you talking about? You live in a sauna... well, a steam room.

Heh. That's right! Minnesotans sit in a sauna for a while and then run outside and jump in the snow, while Atlantans just stand around for a while outside in the normal weather and then run inside and jump into a cooler full of shaved ice.

In the end, it's the exact same thing.