Is It Really That Hard to Make Friends in Minnesota? (Kent: live, floor)

[pirate_lafitte]

Originally Posted by RangerDuke08

Unfortunately I can't answer that question but I gotta tell you some of my closest friends are from Minnesota, we get a couple of em over here in Colorado (I grew up in Colorado but am a military brat and ex military myself and have traveled the States and the globe), Minnesotans are some of the nicest people I met, in fact I decided to date one as of late. And am happyily still trying to figure out Minnesota natives myself without living in Minnesota.

Regarding Springs, I think it's a lil different from Denver, the thing is Springs is sorta a military-exmilitary populated city, it's also a industrial city like most of the urban west, as well as Denver and there are more men than women AKA MENVER. That is one set of problem. The second set of problem is as you listed that Denver is one of the most transient places, I don't think Twin Cities is even as transient, but we sort of bring in a certain typical crowd of "liberal, outdoorsy, upper-middle class, highly educated" crowd. Some of them come with money and families to begin with, 20% of transplants come from California. Thus Colorado in general is very safe, whitebread, clean and the list goes on and on of what "creates" Denver/Boulder/Springs into an ideal place to live for the upper-middle class families, but not necessairly an ideal place for someone in the 20s and single to start off. Though Colorado is home I am moving myself ideally next year.

I can answer you a personal reason for me to move, when I was younger I did move for jobs, education, the typical, as you said the society we live in today is very mobile and it often lead me to fast paced city life such as L.A., D.C., where everyone had somewhere to go, where no one looked at you unless you had money. While growing older and more experienced, my folks also retired overseas it made me think differently, my reason to move was where is a good place the middle-upper class can survive, where is a good place to raise kids, where one can gain respect by the respect he/she gives and not by the amount of money they have. Honestly I rather have neighbors who cared about these things than money, business, cars and homes. Good luck!

Speaking of transient places, I was watching the history channel and the show 50 states was on. Minnesota was featured and Garrison Keillor, a native of the Twin Cities said this about MN: "You shouldn't come unless you plan to stay because it's that good." It gives you an idea about the culture of MN. People who live in MN really don't plan on leaving. That is why there is little transience in MN. A place where transience is rare tends to make people stay close to their friends and family more, whereas in a transient place, people get use to seeing people come and go.

[taw1955]

I am a native minnesotan. I think people are way friendlier here than alot of other states. I am not just saying that because I am from here. I am a scandanavian. We like Lutefisk, Potato Sausage, and lefse. Yum!!! I lived in Indiana for 2 years and hated it. No one was friendly that I knew. Sorry dont mean to be an insult.

[pirate_lafitte]

I think it is hard to make friends wherever you go. People in general are not as neighborly as they used to be. The fact is the difference between what I see in MN and what I see in other regions is that there is a certain reserve that can make some people come off as cold or distant. In the South, you could meet very outgoing people. It doesn't mean they want to be your friend. It just means they are more inclined to talk to total strangers in public. That is the difference of what I see. I think college has given me a different perspective in how I see things. I found some of the most outgoing people in college. Sometimes some of those very people turned out to be quite shallow. They come off as friendly and seeking friends, but in the reality of things, you never get quite that close. This transcends the USA.

[pirate_lafitte]

Originally Posted by taw1955

I am a native minnesotan. I think people are way friendlier here than alot of other states. I am not just saying that because I am from here. I am a scandanavian. We like Lutefisk, Potato Sausage, and lefse. Yum!!! I lived in Indiana for 2 years and hated it. No one was friendly that I knew. Sorry dont mean to be an insult.

I have dealt with people from MN. My impression is that the ones I dealt with tended to be quite helpful and friendly and somewhat reserved in their behavior. That has been my experience.

[whatever]

From a newcomer perspective and someone who's lived in the northeast (Connecticut >15 yrs), the south (Huntsville, AL 7 yrs) and the south-south (Ft. Lauderdale 18yrs), and most recently my first full year in MSP, I'll chime in.

Here come the generalizations. People are generally nicer here. They're a lot more formal than AL & FL, but more approachable than CT. Overall though, even if people are friendlier on the street, they are more aloof as "friends". I had more friends my first year in FL, but my wife and son are doing better here socially. My wife's current best friend is from Iowa. She had moved here 5 years ago and had never made any real friends in that time. Married, and worked in a very social setting. FWIW, I think we probably should have settled east of St. Paul rather than west of MPLS, it probably would have been a better fit for us.

Don't get me wrong, I'll take the ambient friendliness of MN over the weather and such in FL, but I still prefer the easy, strong friendships that I made in Alabama. Could never move back there though, It's too congested now. If we move again though, I'll definitely try to spend a month in the new place before making a decision.

[kayaklin]

Originally Posted by jkc1970

Hi,

I have been reading some posts on the Minnesota forum and am really surprised that people live there for years and never make any true friends. This is really disturbing to me. I have considered Minnesota for a move, along with upstate New York. I really would like to get some feedback about this "Minnesota Nice" - Is this the same as "Southern Hospitality"? Are people really that "Nice"? I think for the most part we live in a very "superficial" society today. People are more isolated and socially fragmented than ever and it really doesn't seem to matter where you live in light of this. We live in a very mobile society today where most people don't stick around and stay in the communities where they grow up and a lot of people don't have a social network anymore. That said, I don't think that moving around is a bad thing. People move for a variety of reasons - some good, some not so good, but a lot of times people move due to job availability, cost of living, quality of life issues - and who can fault people for that? I don't. But, to be honest, it is very hard to connect anywhere these days. I live in Colorado and you would think due to all the transplants it would be easy to make friends here. It is easy to meet people, but not easy to make lasting friendships I have found. And Colorado is not a "my dance card is full" type of place but yet you have the same problem. Ironically, in spite of great climate, 300+ days of sunshine per year, Colorado Springs was just listed as having the 2nd highest suicide rate in the nation (for urban areas in 2004) and I read somewhere that Denver was also high on the list. It really is mind boggling. I was talking to a fireman here in town once and he said that most of their calls are related to suicide attempts because people come out here and don't connect. That is so sad. What is wrong?

To the OP --- I lived in Colorado for almost 6 years and I agree, I didn't think the people were in CO were terribly friendly. But now I am going on my second year here in Minnesota and I have to say, the unfriendliness is much worse up here. People in Minnesota are utterly rude and inconsiderate. I am 7 months pregnant. I just visited the South for the first time last week and complete strangers were waving to me, holding doors open for me, and buying me bottles of water. I came back to Minnesota and almost cried when the check-out lady at Cub foods kept pushing the conveyor belt button until all my food fell on the floor. There is NO WAY you can compare "Minnesota Nice" (whatever the heck THAT is) to "Southern Hospitality."

Minnesotans have no common courtesy or interest in exhanging pleasantries. If you are thinking of moving here from Colorado because people might be nicer up here, don't waste your time.

[moving123456]

Originally Posted by kayaklin

I came back to Minnesota and almost cried when the check-out lady at Cub foods kept pushing the conveyor belt button until all my food fell on the floor.

Which Cub Foods doesn't have a small wall or something at the end of the belt to keep all of your food from falling on the floor? Which Cub Foods has a manager that would let the cashier send all of your food off the end on to the floor?

[ozzie679]

Originally Posted by kayaklin

To the OP --- I lived in Colorado for almost 6 years and I agree, I didn't think the people were in CO were terribly friendly. But now I am going on my second year here in Minnesota and I have to say, the unfriendliness is much worse up here. People in Minnesota are utterly rude and inconsiderate. I am 7 months pregnant. I just visited the South for the first time last week and complete strangers were waving to me, holding doors open for me, and buying me bottles of water. I came back to Minnesota and almost cried when the check-out lady at Cub foods kept pushing the conveyor belt button until all my food fell on the floor. There is NO WAY you can compare "Minnesota Nice" (whatever the heck THAT is) to "Southern Hospitality."

Minnesotans have no common courtesy or interest in exhanging pleasantries. If you are thinking of moving here from Colorado because people might be nicer up here, don't waste your time.

[kayaklin]

Originally Posted by moving123456

Which Cub Foods doesn't have a small wall or something at the end of the belt to keep all of your food from falling on the floor? Which Cub Foods has a manager that would let the cashier send all of your food off the end on to the floor?

I edited out your oh-so-Minnesotan-friendly image there. To answer your question, the small wall that divides the two conveyor belts doesn't guard against anything dropping on the FLOOR. The only thing at the end of the conveyor belt is the hooks for the bags, and they don't prevent anything from dropping onto the floor either. And as far as the managers go, who knows, maybe a manager who was actually off managing the store might have let that happen, or not seen it?? Good grief, get a life. It happened to me and plenty of people were there to see it. (I will also add that not a single person stopped to help me pick up my food, either.)

[Mannix7]

As much as I love my hometown the people here do tend to be rather discourteous and impersonal. People here have a sort of messed up mix of Minnesota nice and big city cynicism going on. They seem to regard any kindness or help from strangers with suspicion, and think everyone else does too. As they get to know you, they warm up a bit, but good luck getting a stranger to hold the elevator up for you! The farther out from the Twin cities you get the more "Minnesota nice" folks seem.