Is It Really That Hard to Make Friends in Minnesota? (Wayzata: fit in, transplants)

[jkc1970]

Hi,

I have been reading some posts on the Minnesota forum and am really surprised that people live there for years and never make any true friends. This is really disturbing to me. I have considered Minnesota for a move, along with upstate New York. I really would like to get some feedback about this "Minnesota Nice" - Is this the same as "Southern Hospitality"? Are people really that "Nice"? I think for the most part we live in a very "superficial" society today. People are more isolated and socially fragmented than ever and it really doesn't seem to matter where you live in light of this. We live in a very mobile society today where most people don't stick around and stay in the communities where they grow up and a lot of people don't have a social network anymore. That said, I don't think that moving around is a bad thing. People move for a variety of reasons - some good, some not so good, but a lot of times people move due to job availability, cost of living, quality of life issues - and who can fault people for that? I don't. But, to be honest, it is very hard to connect anywhere these days. I live in Colorado and you would think due to all the transplants it would be easy to make friends here. It is easy to meet people, but not easy to make lasting friendships I have found. And Colorado is not a "my dance card is full" type of place but yet you have the same problem. Ironically, in spite of great climate, 300+ days of sunshine per year, Colorado Springs was just listed as having the 2nd highest suicide rate in the nation (for urban areas in 2004) and I read somewhere that Denver was also high on the list. It really is mind boggling. I was talking to a fireman here in town once and he said that most of their calls are related to suicide attempts because people come out here and don't connect. That is so sad. What is wrong?

[newcastle]

Minneosta nice is just simply being neighborly. Fro example, giving your neighbor a hand by snow blowing their driveway now and again or helping someone out at the gas station when their car batery dies. Things like that.

You can develop menaningful relationships in Minnesota, but I find that it takes longer because many people here have extended family and usually do things with them. Also, Scandanavian heritage plays a role too-meaning many stoic people that may appear standoffish and not friendly when that is simply not true.

[kuan]

Is your boat worth more than your car?

Do you frequently wonder what's South of the Twincities?

Have you heard of Betty's Pies?

Can you pretend to love lutefisk?

Is a sweater considered fancy dress for you?

Is disconnecting your battery and bringing it in the house considered a daily chore for you?

Do you still call the local paper the Star and Tribune, or your utility provider Minnegasco?

Can you properly pronouce Wayzata?

If you've answered yes to at least five of the above questions, then I'd say yes, you'd fit in just fine.

[jkc1970]

Originally Posted by kuan

Is your boat worth more than your car?

Do you frequently wonder what's South of the Twincities?

Have you heard of Betty's Pies?

Can you pretend to love lutefisk?

Is a sweater considered fancy dress for you?

Is disconnecting your battery and bringing it in the house considered a daily chore for you?

Do you still call the local paper the Star and Tribune, or your utility provider Minnegasco?

Can you properly pronouce Wayzata?

If you've answered yes to at least five of the above questions, then I'd say yes, you'd fit in just fine.

I guess I wouldn't fit in. By the way, what exactly is lutefisk?

[kuan]

Originally Posted by jkc1970

I guess I wouldn't fit in. By the way, what exactly is lutefisk?

Lutefisk is great stuff man. It's fish preserved in lye.

[jkc1970]

Originally Posted by kuan

Lutefisk is great stuff man. It's fish preserved in lye.

Ughhhhhhh

[jkc1970]

However, Rocky Mountain Oysters are worse

[pirate_lafitte]

Originally Posted by kuan

Lutefisk is great stuff man. It's fish preserved in lye.

I've never tasted it but if I ever make to MN, which is very possible because I have family in MPLS, then I am open to giving it a try.

As for the making friends in MN, you might make friends, that is possible, but not right away. I read something in a book about Sweden in reference to friendship being compared to a bottle of ketchup(a glass one at that): At first nothing comes out, but when it does, it pours. Apparently, that is the thing about making friends, at first there is little there but with time things get better.

[jkc1970]

Piratte Lafitte where in Georgia do you live? I used to live in Atlanta (briefly) - Have you lived in Minnesota before? How would you compare the South to Minn?

[kuan]

Originally Posted by jkc1970

However, Rocky Mountain Oysters are worse

No because you can fry those in a lot of batter and enjoy the crunch. Lutefisk is served simply with plain butter or cream, cream because some Minnesotans cannot stand to eat anything with a little color in it. It's not a staple. No VFW lutefisk fry on fridays.

Actually I quite like lutefisk. I just make fun of it a bit because I know many people can't stand lutefisk.