You live out suburbia

where your typical bar has trouble staying alive. One thing about bars in the upper midwest is they are either downtown in the city, or out in the boondocks - suburban bars are rare. The Twin Cities is notorious for not having any good watering holes in suburbia. Plus your average Twin Cities Drinker can't hold a candle to a seasoned Wisconsin Drinker.
As for Maple Grove, the only decent watering hole i can think of is the Claddagh Irish Pub, 7890 Main St N, Osseo, MN 55369 - just to your north.
One thing about Minnesota - the liquor laws suck. Head over to Wisconsin (Hudson isn't bad)

you'll find much more for a bar scene, and drinking style like you are used to. (Though I dare say your average Wisconsinite would drink a Texan under the table - I had a few buddies from Texas, and we had to take a 5 martini handicap before we let the texans start drinking).
If you are really looking to get hammered I would suggest Superior, WI/Duluth, MN. Just ask a cabbie to take you to Tower Ave. You'll be hammered in no time

But like I said - when I need to get serious with my drinking - it's off to Wisconsin I go.
