NY-ers in Minnesota -- PLEASE HELP! (home, schools, shopper)

[rcsteiner]

Originally Posted by fitra

Ditto! These folks here are a trip. I've been here five years...it doesn't change. I'm up outta here within the next year. I went on vacation a month ago and it was so refreshing to have people smile and speak and strike up a conversation instead of having that stoic, fake, "I'll talk to you if you go to happy hour EVERY chance we get" look on their faces. When I leave, I'll miss the Twin Cities, but not the people.

Wow. Sounds like you found a crowd of losers. Either that, or you don't know an honest expression of interest when you see one.

Neither scenario would surprise me given some of the east coast folks I've known in the past.

[kuan]

I know girl who has no friends. She literally has no social life, not because she doesn't want to have friends, but because she has self esteem issues. To her, everyone else is stupid and doesn't understand her. She finds fault in everything and everybody just so she doesn't have to participate in something that's a little bit out of her comfort zone.

[whatever]

Originally Posted by Ishten

Instead of fighting the culture, try and embrace it - even if only in jest initially. Out Minnesota the natives. Out nice, out small talk, use the same accent, dress conservatively, act modest, dress conservatively and, above all, be polite.

Try on the cloak of a midwesterner, you can always return it.

I like this post. Worth trying anyhow

[JOOPITER]

So sad that you have lost your smile!
Let me try some of my Missoureeeeeeeeee majik.......
Ready for a happy thought?
You can cook your celery root.......at home. Go home, friend. Free your sunshine!
I hope you are so happy when you get home- you look happy.
Don't let one of those ugly happy-haters bash your pretty face!

[Anneee]

Hi NYCGeek,
I'm originally from California, have lived in the Twin Cities for 15 years and, believe me, I know your pain! It's extremely difficult to acclimate to this culture if you're from anywhere else in the country. Unlike other posters, I don't believe this is an issue of coastal folks meeting midwesterners; Minnesotans are unique unto themselves! However, they're not another species and as you learn more about their culture and history, they're behavior will make more sense to you. That may or may not make you appreciate them more, but it will become easier to navigate your way through their culture.

Here are some things to keep in mind:
1. They're well-traveled. They know they're different. They're a little sensitive about it.
2. Their passive-aggression isn't as dangerous as the fact that they assume that you're being passive-agressive, so watch what you say!
3. In all situations, you are either considered part of the group or an outsider. Know your place and act accordingly.
4. Try moving to another city. You'll be surprised at how much the inhabitants can vary. (Try Woodbury)

[hrwy]

um excuse me, i am from northwest minnesota and you obviously dont know a sincere person when you meet one. Minnesota people are good people and mean well. They are nice b/c they want to be not b/c they feel they have to! It's too bad you dont have an open mind to other cultures cuz your gonna miss out. Why dont you move back home if it is so bad? Go back where all the crime is and craziness?

[Blazer]

Hey NYC Greek - I am from Queens, NY too. I moved to a small town in SE MN south of Rochester two and a half years ago. It is the best place in the world. People are sincere. My neighbors are wonderful - when was the last time you had a fresh picked ear of sweet corn from your neighbor's garden - in Queens there was such a turnover in neighbors I never got to know any of them very well. My area of MN is clean, the air is fresh; there are birds in my backyard (more than just starlings). There are eagles flying overhead. There are no Uzi-toting National Guardsmen on the street. The only police sirens I hear are the ones in the background on CNN. You need an attitude adjustment. Change your mind, change your life -- it's not that hard to do. Every place is different. There were parts of Queens where you couldn't pay me to live - I'm sure each state or city has such an area. Embrace Minnesota - it's a great state.

[Francaflo]

Originally Posted by NYCGeek

I need a little feedback here or else I think I’m going to lose my mind!

I moved to the TC two years ago from NYC, Queens. My first year here, every time I passed by the airport, I wanted to bail out of the car and make a run for it!

I still haven’t learned to smile to every darn stranger who comes my way. Everyone walks around here with a fake, forced smile… I sometime get the feel that I’m in the twilight zone. I don’t smile unless I have a REASON FOR IT!. I’m sill trying to define or find the meaning “Minnesota Nice”. Growing up in the “city” I learned that you never smile at strangers unless you want your face smashed in. Maybe, I’m wrong… Maybe I grew up in the wrong place.

I cannot stand the local “inquisitive”, nosy attitude especially when it’s not a reciprocal. And what the … is up with the mindless, crazy chatter when trying to pay for your stuff while shopping at Lunds or the like??!! Questions like “ Oooo, cabage… what are you doing with it???” or the other day when I bought a couple of celery roots “ Oooo, how do you cook these?!”. Like she gave a …

Accents… Where do I begin? Let me start by saying that... huh… Minnesota accent is a REALITY! Hello?!!! Stop pretending that in MN English is more proper than elsewhere in the country!!! I cannot take it anymore! God forbid you happen to have a regional accent (Brooklyn, Queens, Bronx) and use your NY hands when you “twalk”. I guess saying “beg” when in fact is “bag” is rather more accepting.

Last but not least, let’s mention the great and famous “passive aggressive” attitude Minnesota is so famous for! That along with good fishing, hunting, mosquitoes, 50000 lakes and the MOA which interestingly enough isn’t displayed on any single BIG and conspicuous sign along the adjacent expressways. Not one stinking, BIG visible sign for the BIG Mall of the BIG America! Pay attention the next time to drive to the MOA!

So, NY-ers please get back to me on this so I know I’m not alone in the struggle.

I grew up in NYC and I must tell you that New Yorkers have a hard time adjusting to other places than NY. Most of the US is not as direct or in your face as New Yorkers; that being said, I still love NY and miss that about them.

You are right in some ways about Minnesotans, but I can guarantee you can find those that are not as you describe. I like the fact that they have a "live and let live" attitude and that they try to be friendly. They also, like the Brits, don't like to intrude on your space, but if you talk to them first, they are usually pretty decent. It's a whole different way of life but I know, that as an ex-New Yorker, it takes a long time to get over N.Y. no matter where you go. (I have some NY friends who moved to North Carolina, which is up and coming, and has a lot of New Yorkers relocating there, and the New Yorkers don't like NC either.) However, many ex-New Yorkers go back to N.Y. and say they no longer like the attitudes of New Yorkers. So there you have it.

[Faith1111]

NYCGeek,

I feel your pain.......MN people think they are better, smarter, and have the best of everything including schools. That is such bull crap!!

THEY are the top of the List of the most miserable people in the world!! They have nothing better to do with their lives than to talk about others. They will even talk about their own family....

That is how nuts these people are...They will invite you to their house and talk about you as soon as you leave? I thought the women were bad ....OH NO...The guys are just like the women.

MN people are indeed the Number One ... Haters, Fakers, and not to mention the schools here are not that great!!! Yes I live in the suburbs, where houses range up to almost a million.

I say hang out with people that are not from MN....

Midwestern's are sneaky, they need tic tacs in their pockets, so you can hear them coming.

We are straight up with whomever we have a problem with , Try to settle it like adults, and move on... Don't have time for drama.

These people are "crazy" they are so into drama that I cannot stand it anymore. They think they are still in high school . They even put their kids in the middle of the drama....CRAZY!!

My advice to you is .Keep your business to yourself!! Trust ME!!! They will twist what you say around so fast.

Do the smile and wave....Don't have time to chat. Got to go kind of way!! If you know what I am talking about. Don't get pulled into their drama world.

WE ARE HERE, WE HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT BORN AND RAISED IN MN. YOU JUST NEED TO FIND US!!

GOOD LUCK!!



WE ARE HERE, WE HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT BORN AND RAISED IN MN. YOU JUST NEED TO FIND US!!


GOOD LUCK!!

[michael1969]

NYC Geek-What part of Queens are you from. I too are from Queens, and a little less that a year ago my family and I toyed with the idea of moving to the TC's. We visit every year as my wife has family in EP. We do love it there, but again we only visit for a few days at a time. I love the lakes, and I do say from the few people I have met they have seemed nice, but again, they are introductions from family. I thought your post was very on target from alot of research I have done about moving there.