I need to comment on this MN Nice=fake thing (Duluth: appointed, transplants)

[Guero]

Originally Posted by Clifford63

I have to say there is a certian irony regarding posts that say Minnesota Nice == Passive Agressive. Pseudo anonymous posts on the Internet to blow off steam. Pot v Kettle stuff if you ask me.

The things we hate about others, are often the things we hate about ourselves eh?

Exactly.

I don't think some of these folks would know passive-aggressive if it bit them on the rear end, or as you suggest, took an honest look in the mirror.

In fact, one of the hallmarks of passive-aggressive behavior is leaving little notes. Very similar to leaving little drive-by, sniping posts on forums. Another hallmark is the blame game. Known as the "Look at what you've made me do!" tactic. "It must be they that are making me unhappy! Look at them, they're so <insert hater comment du jour here>!"

[What!]

You people posted some great things in this thread!

[MNNative]

Originally Posted by Guero

Exactly.

I don't think some of these folks would know passive-aggressive if it bit them on the rear end, or as you suggest, took an honest look in the mirror.

In fact, one of the hallmarks of passive-aggressive behavior is leaving little notes. Very similar to leaving little drive-by, sniping posts on forums. Another hallmark is the blame game. Known as the "Look at what you've made me do!" tactic. "It must be they that are making me unhappy! Look at them, they're so <insert hater comment du jour here>!"

What is so wrong with being passive-aggressive? Better than being one or the other, isn't it? I can't stand pushovers and can't stand pompous jerks. A happy medium seems to get the point across without having to be a b**ch about it.

And I'm having trouble understanding who you're referring to when you mention the blame game. Seems to me the "outsiders" are the ones pointing the finger at the native who are creating such an unpleasant experience with our "fakeness".

[cavewoman]

I don't know...I am still struggling with the Minnesota Nice thing.
I called it Minnesota ICE....oops.,

I am kinda in your face kinda lady, but surely not to strangers and surely not unless you have provoked me. I am generally reserved...at first and that I think is common to most people. Once they have their guard down, perhaps they change.

I was in Northfield Minnesota, and I did like the kindness of the drivers... and some of the other areas I traveled., LakeVille and Pearl Lk., met some nice folks., but when it came to real friends.... most folks I talked to said it took forever....years in fact.

I was born and raised in Chgo and if someone doesn't like you, they just pretty much don't say a word. Being civil should be anywhere we go, but my year in Minnesota was a rude awakening. Learned the MN nice much to late.... oh well.
we move on.... I think I will head south.

[cavewoman]

Originally Posted by Guero

Exactly.

I don't think some of these folks would know passive-aggressive if it bit them on the rear end, or as you suggest, took an honest look in the mirror.

In fact, one of the hallmarks of passive-aggressive behavior is leaving little notes. Very similar to leaving little drive-by, sniping posts on forums. Another hallmark is the blame game. Known as the "Look at what you've made me do!" tactic. "It must be they that are making me unhappy! Look at them, they're so <insert hater comment du jour here>!"

This is kinda funny.... I am liking it.

[cavewoman]

Originally Posted by MNNative

What is so wrong with being passive-aggressive? Better than being one or the other, isn't it? I can't stand pushovers and can't stand pompous jerks. A happy medium seems to get the point across without having to be a b**ch about it.

And I'm having trouble understanding who you're referring to when you mention the blame game. Seems to me the "outsiders" are the ones pointing the finger at the native who are creating such an unpleasant experience with our "fakeness".

The term outsiders... and natives really gets my goat.
Perhaps living in the same town or state works for you, but we all come from somewhere and communities grow.

Why can't we all just get along and let the outsiders in????

[cavewoman]

Originally Posted by What!

You people posted some great things in this thread!

I agree.....

[Guero]

• Originally Posted by MNNative

  What is so wrong with being passive-aggressive? Better than being one or the other, isn't it? I can't stand pushovers and can't stand pompous jerks. A happy medium seems to get the point across without having to be a b**ch about it.

Originally Posted by MNNative

And I'm having trouble understanding who you're referring to when you mention the blame game. Seems to me the "outsiders" are the ones pointing the finger at the native who are creating such an unpleasant experience with our "fakeness".

Sorry, I am late to answering this, been gone fishin' like a good MN Nice guy!

Passive-aggressive isn't desirable. It's communicating through channels that people don't normally communicate through because they fear face-to-face interaction. So having our entire state population labeled as a bunch of cowards isn't going to sit well with some, including me. I think it's about as lame as labeling everyone from Detroit or NYC as muggers and gangstas.

I 100% agree with you about a happy medium, and that happy medium (for me anyway) falls somewhere in between passive-aggressive and in-your-face.

As far as the blame game, I meant non-natives who come here and then start pointing fingers at Minnesotans (and marketing slogans aimed at tourists) in general, because they are having a rough go of it.

[MNNative]

Gotcha, Guero. (lol on the fishing) I totally get what you're saying.

Cavewoman, I'm with you on the native/outsider thing...hence the quotes around outsider. Despite the fact I point out I'm a native Minnesotan in my name/handle/whatever the heck it's called, I completely agree with you that it shouldn't matter whether you're born and raised or just relocated, etc. Once you move in you're part of the family.

[Tinawants2move]

I don't think that the woman was being p/a at all in that comment. I would NEVER EVER let my 3 y/o be naked in public like that, esp., in front of her 13 y/o brother. You're in PUBLIC. At least take your kid behind a bush.