I need to comment on this MN Nice=fake thing (Dakota: college, law)

[MN-Born-n-Raised]

Originally Posted by crazyme4878

Then again, I wonder what midwest transplants in NYC, Boston, and areas like say about those natives?

I don't know what the transplants say about NYC but I know what I though when I visit annually.

NYC citizens are: forward, opinionated, loud, direct, short tempered, and are clicky with their own ethnicity (think Italians or Jewish). On the positive side you know where you stand, they are confident, and are loyal friends.

[fitra]

Originally Posted by crazyme4878

You put it so perfectly. I haven't been able to understand some vehement posts against the MN nice. Maybe they are upset because MN is known for niceness and the posters' original homestates aren't? But you are very right. Maybe it should be MN chattiness? Meaning, people will strike up small talk and say hi to you on the street. Thats how I see it. Not MN nice as in "we welcome you with open arms and want to be your new best friend."

Oh please, GA is supposedly home to southern hospitality. But its' not about a state motto, it's about the actions of the people. I met rude people growing up in the GA. But that is not what we are talking about. We are talking about a large majority of people here that don't look you in the eyes when they see you walking threw the mall or in the grocery store. It seems like they are desperately trying not to simply say, "Hello!" When you speak first, they look as if they are going to have a coronary. We should get used to that???? Please!

People in other places don't give MN a second thought unless they know someone that moved here. I'm equally amazed at how MN news always tries to make like All eyes are on MN.

Have you spent time with one of these people to "understand" these vehement posts against MN nice?

None of us are looking for a new bff...most of us are fine with our friends from high school just like you are. But, we also like to meet new people and it shows.

Ya'll should stop defending what just about every MN outsider (even foreigners) is saying and instead try to understand what we are talking about. For some reason, ya'll think we need to accept how you all are or leave. That's that MN stoicism....indifferent, don't care and it shows.

[fitra]

Originally Posted by chilaili

No, it isn't everywhere. It's MUCH more prevalent in the Midwest. I lived there for 10 years before moving to Colorado where people are a lot more upfront about their likes and dislikes. And if you've never been to London, trust me, that would be a serious eye-opener to anyone from Minnesota where complete strangers will treat you like dirt and tell you how stupid you are before you've even drawn breath. So refreshing!

And you know what, people like that better. Let people know where they stand so you can stay the hell away from them. I should move to London. hah!

[fitra]

Originally Posted by kim825

I've lived here 10 years and lived on the East Coast before that. This place is not "nice" it is "fake" and I wish MN would start realizing it. We've had visitors here from all over the country and they all say the same thing about you folks. They don't think you are "nice" or "friendly" and they also think you coddle you kids and make fools of yourselves with the fake voice/long explanations you use when talking to your little ones.

Ditto! Deal with it.

[fitra]

Originally Posted by Grannysroost

Skunk smells it's own hole firstso maybe you should quit the belliackin and go where you feel your environment is better - as that is nothing I can't stand is a whiner where they don't want to be - can't take the heat in the kitchen - get the hey out or change thy attitude

Yep, grannysroot, you are the typical stoic MNsotan. MN feels a bit bi-polar. Do you people want other states to see that you are one of the best places to live, move here and like it or do you not give a rat's...? Make up your mind!

[fitra]

Originally Posted by rcsteiner

Whine, whine, whine. Is that all you east coasters can do? No WONDER my ancestors moved away from the coast as quickly we they could...

I guess it's a good thing that some of these people are complaining about manners, though, instead of crime, education, or some of the other more important aspects of life. Someone complaining about manners in NYC would probably just be told to shut mod cut up.

Living in denial is good for ya, huh? Feels good right???? Can you feel it, huh, huh???

[akronbball]

Fitra, I know everyone is entitled to their opinion but you make it sound as if MN is the worst place ever and people here do not know anything about other parts of the country. I’ve lived in 3 different states one of which was GA and in Europe for a year and I like the people of MN better than the other places I have lived. There are plenty of rude people in MN but from my experiences there are a lot of nice people and I have met plenty of people around the country that feel the same. As far as not making friends in MN I just moved back after not living here for 7 years and have had no problem. You just have to ask them to do something or see what they are interested in, same as you would do in other places.

[fitra]

Originally Posted by jzak1972

I agree completely. I lived there for much of my life and recently moved away. Although I lived there for a long time I was not born there. If you aren't born in Minnesota you are generally considered an outsider. It is fact. Many Minnesotans are scared of anyone who is not white, anglo-saxon and doesn't know what a "hot dish" is. They try to portray themselves as open and liberal but actually they are quite passive-aggressive by nature. Minnesotans (those born in Minnesota in particular) are slightly racist and xenophobic. Case in point.

When I was young, I was on a traveling basketball team. I lived what was then a rural area, so many of these people only saw pictures of black people and other minorities. We go to Hospitality House in Minneapolis to play a black basketball team. You wouldn't believe how scared the parents were, making comments like "lock your doors" "make sure you go into the bathrooms with somebody else" etc. It was embarrassing to be a part of such close-mindedness. At the time I was shocked but started to accept that this is the way many white Minnesotans act toward those who they consider different from them.

By the way, the pompous little white kids on my team got their asses handed to them by the folks at Hospitality House. And I was actually kind of glad.

This is not whining, bitching or anything else.

So when you Minnesotans defend your openness, lack of understanding and Minnesota-Niceness, look in the damn mirror and see what really stares back at you.

OUT.

That is a big part of it too! I had never been around people that had never been around a black person til I moved here. The foreigners I've met here that haven't been around black people didn't think too hard about it. We talk, get to know each other and become friends. These MNsotans, oh good grief. Turn off Boyz in the Hood and go out and talk to a black person or a foreigner. All black people didn't grow up in the hood or the ghetto ike the movies and tv show. All foreigners aren't from some desolate wasteland fighting lions, tigers and bears. And none of us need your sympathy or apologies about what your ancestors did.

I came here to MN, did the damn thang and I'm about to move somewhere else and keep doing the damn thang. Young, black and gifted! Hide your purse cuz for some reason my Master's degree and paycheck won't get me the same thing, so I need to steal it from you just b/c I'm black.

Wow! You people are amazingly funny!

[fitra]

Originally Posted by akronbball

Fitra, I know everyone is entitled to their opinion but you make it sound as if MN is the worst place ever and people here do not know anything about other parts of the country. I’ve lived in 3 different states one of which was GA and in Europe for a year and I like the people of MN better than the other places I have lived. There are plenty of rude people in MN but from my experiences there are a lot of nice people and I have met plenty of people around the country that feel the same. As far as not making friends in MN I just moved back after not living here for 7 years and have had no problem. You just have to ask them to do something or see what they are interested in, same as you would do in other places.

I've never had to do any of what you said in the other places I have lived to make friends. I'm not 20 years old, I'm 40 so I know alot about making friends. My point in moving to MN without knowing anyone is because it was not even something I thought about. It was never a problem until I moved here. Here it is very in your face and very noticeable that these natives do not want to get to know you.

Since MN considers themselves so laid back and casual, why must an outsider put in work to get you all to be open and friendly. Doesn't make sense!

[rcsteiner]

Originally Posted by fitra

Living in denial is good for ya, huh? Feels good right???? Can you feel it, huh, huh???

My mommy told me that denial was a river in Africa.

Even though my comment was made over four months ago (August 2008), I really think it's a shame that the moderators here are so sensitive that they feel the need to cut out a portion of my text that the forum software itself had already effectively bleeped out with asterisks. Talk about being PC... Not only that, but it makes the attempted East Coast comment a lot less authentic.