I need to comment on this MN Nice=fake thing (Northfield: living in, gangs)

[Grannysroost]

Originally Posted by kim825

I've lived here 10 years and lived on the East Coast before that. This place is not "nice" it is "fake" and I wish MN would start realizing it. We've had visitors here from all over the country and they all say the same thing about you folks. They don't think you are "nice" or "friendly" and they also think you coddle you kids and make fools of yourselves with the fake voice/long explanations you use when talking to your little ones.

Kim - not sure where you came from and you are probably younger than my kids - you have no idea the meaning of MN nice...But will tell you - a long timer that is not fake will sense fake in a heartbeat and maybe that is where you and your visitors are having a problem - MN saying - Skunk smells it's own hole firstso maybe you should quit the belliackin and go where you feel your environment is better - as that is nothing I can't stand is a whiner where they don't want to be - can't take the heat in the kitchen - get the hey out or change thy attitude

[rcsteiner]

Originally Posted by kim825

I've lived here 10 years and lived on the East Coast before that. This place is not "nice" it is "fake" and I wish MN would start realizing it.

Whine, whine, whine. Is that all you east coasters can do? No WONDER my ancestors moved away from the coast as quickly we they could...

I guess it's a good thing that some of these people are complaining about manners, though, instead of crime, education, or some of the other more important aspects of life. Someone complaining about manners in NYC would probably just be told to shut mod cut up.

[jzak1972]

Originally Posted by kim825

I've lived here 10 years and lived on the East Coast before that. This place is not "nice" it is "fake" and I wish MN would start realizing it. We've had visitors here from all over the country and they all say the same thing about you folks. They don't think you are "nice" or "friendly" and they also think you coddle you kids and make fools of yourselves with the fake voice/long explanations you use when talking to your little ones.

I agree completely. I lived there for much of my life and recently moved away. Although I lived there for a long time I was not born there. If you aren't born in Minnesota you are generally considered an outsider. It is fact. Many Minnesotans are scared of anyone who is not white, anglo-saxon and doesn't know what a "hot dish" is. They try to portray themselves as open and liberal but actually they are quite passive-aggressive by nature. Minnesotans (those born in Minnesota in particular) are slightly racist and xenophobic. Case in point.

When I was young, I was on a traveling basketball team. I lived what was then a rural area, so many of these people only saw pictures of black people and other minorities. We go to Hospitality House in Minneapolis to play a black basketball team. You wouldn't believe how scared the parents were, making comments like "lock your doors" "make sure you go into the bathrooms with somebody else" etc. It was embarrassing to be a part of such close-mindedness. At the time I was shocked but started to accept that this is the way many white Minnesotans act toward those who they consider different from them.

By the way, the pompous little white kids on my team got their asses handed to them by the folks at Hospitality House. And I was actually kind of glad.

This is not whining, bitching or anything else.

So when you Minnesotans defend your openness, lack of understanding and Minnesota-Niceness, look in the damn mirror and see what really stares back at you.

OUT.

[Collideascope]

Originally Posted by jzak1972

If you aren't born in Minnesota you are generally considered an outsider. It is fact.

I spent the better part of four decades in Minnesota - I don't recall being interrogated as to my birth place.

That said, I think the Minnesota Nice thing is rather overblown. But then so is the "Minnesotans are racist and xeniphobic" thing.

[rcsteiner]

Originally Posted by jzak1972

So when you Minnesotans defend your openness, lack of understanding and Minnesota-Niceness, look in the damn mirror and see what really stares back at you.

Most of us are speaking of people either in the Twin Cities metro or in some of the larger towns in MN. I realize that there can be much more conservative people and more isolationist/intolerant attitudes in some smaller MN towns, but you see that in all parts of the country.

There are towns down here in the south that would make any small town in MN look like San Fransisco in terms of accepting outsiders and different ways of thinking.

I can "defend" nobody but myself and the folks I knew, know, and grew up with in the Minneapolis suburbs. If you're talking about them, I will strongly disagree with you. I found more general openness up there and willingness to assist others than I've found down here, although most Atlanta folks are pretty decent as well. Otherwise, I can't directly comment -- I have no idea where in the state you were located or what your own personal expectations were.

Thanks for making a well-written comment, though, and providing some level of background instead of simply engaging in sweeping Minnesota bashing the way so many previous posters have. I've seen xenophobic behavior myself on occasion, mostly (as I said) in smaller rural communities. I blame it on inbreeding.

[aperfectbass]

I'm quoting another thread on the forum, but I think it really gives some perspective on the topic. I feel it is pertinent to people on both sides of the argument. Now while it won't make me stop my disliking the area, it definitely gives me a different view.

Originally Posted by J_Lurk

I'm from NC and I lived in St. Paul for almost 10 years and moved back to NC in 2003. The problem I found was that many people in Minnesota were from there and had no idea what it felt like to relocate. Yes, they were nice, but they didn't invite you home. I don't think that means that Minnesota Nice is superficial, it was just that they had their own social life and they assumed you did too because they hadn't had the experience of relocating. If you explicitly say to them "I would really like to meet some new people" then you'll see a little light bulb go off and they will invite you along, but they don't usually guess that on their own.

Here in NC, I'm in the reverse situation, because so many people are moving to the area and I'm the one with an established social group and I often feel apologetic that I'm unable to spend as much time as others at impromptu meet-ups. It's just a function of being a native vs. being a new resident wherever you are.

[dutchinnd]

My experience with "Minnesota Nice" is that there is a great emphasis on consensus, and decision-making by consensus. Given the reserved nature of many of the residents of Northern European descent, it seems like many people are not comfortable with open conflict at all. Also, on the part of some stoic people, there is the belief or standard of conduct that says it is not appropriate to display heightened emotion (anger, sadness, joy) in any environment but closest family.
Being from the Midwest, but not a native of Minn/ND, I can understand where multiple groups are coming from. When one former boss exploded in a staff meeting about a budget shortfall (that wasn't the fault/responsibility of anyone in the room), many staff were dismayed by her anger. They finally got it when I kept repeating, "she's not mad at you; she's angry about the situation." Many hadn't encountered anything like that before.

[kuan]

Originally Posted by jzak1972

Minnesotans (those born in Minnesota in particular) are slightly racist and xenophobic. Case in point.

I've only really had a run in with one truly racist person.

Am I dumb, stupid, or what? Do I not see it?

[What!]

I have a question: can all of you who didn't like MN tell us where you lived? It might help a little in understanding your situation.

[Guero]

Hasn't this horse been rendered into glue yet?

Unhappy people are generally unhappy where ever they are, and never seem to want to look within for the reasons. They instead puff out their chest and get in your face and then claim that because you're not like them, you are a bad person and a phony. Such is the way of the insecure individual. Most people outgrow that crap after High School, no matter where they are from.

People who hold an entire population responsible for dippy marketing slogans like "MN Nice" have issues far beyond any petty crap they claim here.

Maybe the Minnesotans that some of you clowns seem to be having problems with simply realized that you were pushy, needy neurotics and gave you the cold shoulder because of that?

Don't look to Minnesotans for affirmation. It's time to grow up and stand on your own two feet.

In your face enough for yas?