Is there still "Minnesota nice" in the 21st Century? (Minneapolis: job market, best schools)

[ihatefonddulac]

I lived 35 years of my life in SE MN. As a teenager, I thought there was so much more excitement outside the borders of MN. Well, I got the chance to experience that when my husband moved us to get job experience. We lived in IN, SC and WI. We are now back in MN, and after learning the hard way that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence, I would say there definitely is Minnesota nice. No offense to IN or SC; there were friendly people there, just not as many as in MN. Definitely not in Fond du Lac, WI! Very unfriendly place. Now that we are back, I don't hear my kids complaining about MN anymore. I think they are here to stay!

[JenLee]

I think MN Nice exists; but we've found that it's slightly different from what others stated here.

To me, MN Nice means that we are friendly to a point: we will wave and say hi, give directions, etc. but will keep our noses out of your business unless you ask for advice. Becoming friends with Minnesotans takes friendliness on your part too; but it may take a while before you are invited to dinner, etc. I think that "reserved" is a good term; probably goes back to how we were raised.

[melt]

I'm sorry but I do not see this MN nice we are chatting about here. Some of you are fooling yourselves. From all my experiences in all my travels outside of this state, MN has got to be one of the rudest states out there! I've lived here for 30 years and still have to say, where's the manners? Plain and simple. I'm constantly getting cut off in traffic even though I usually do about 5 over the speed limit or go with the flow. My wife and I when out in public always hold the door for others and about 30% of the time, get a thank you in return. Just the other day we were in line to buy a smoothie at MOA and there was two people in front of us, some woman comes from no where, backs into my wife almost knocking her over and doesn't even say excuse me or sorry. Then has the gull to cut in front of the two people that were waiting in front of us to buy her diet Dew she was so much in a hurry for, then sprints away with her nose in the air. Meanwhile were all looking at each other wondering what just happened. I see this kind of thing on a weekly basis. Plus the winters are horrible and never give us much ambition to do much when it's sub zero temps outside. Besides the people, MN is a beautiful state, but it's time for a change. I'm sorry but we want out of this state.

[gossman68]

I was born and raised for 28+ yrs in CT and in general where I lived there in south central area found people to be generally about the same as here, except when you were behind the wheel of a car Craziness then.
We now live in a very small town of 650+ people in the SW farm land and my wife and I have found "MN Nice" with the waves and hi's and smiles and such. We had a very helpful neighbor when we first moved in and were putting up mail boxes and minor outdoor repairs but other than that we have made no "friends" in the previous year and a half. I work in route sales for long hours in many small towns and bigger towns and have meet alot of nice people who I see every 2 weeks, but I also agree with the rudeness. I dont think 2 in 10 people will say thank you when you hold the door for them and you can go with the same ratio to get a "hi" from someone at retail counter or much else. In general I think the MN nice thing at least in small towns is generally just a front and maybe not, but very tough to become a part of "them" from the outside.

[tizzle42]

People are rude everywhere, it's just how today's society is. I lived in MN for 10 years and I am now living in Texas and there is no sourthen hospitality. The only true generalization is most people spend their time talking about how great there state is and that every other state is horrible.

[sat832]

My husband and I moved here from Pittsburgh PA about 9yrs ago. We laugh out loud everytime someone says "minnesota nice...." It's a riot. We have found people hear to be exactly what prior posters say. Nice to your face and then talk about you as soon as you walk away. Nice on the surface but no true interest in you or getting to really be friends.
We miss the east coast so much. People here think that MN is the greatest place on Earth. Best schools, land etc. It's really ashame that people can't see themselves for what they are. They have such a bad opinion of East Coast folks and most have no first hand experience knowing any. It's a shame that the east coast gets a bad rap. Where I'm from people are really friendly, tell you like it is -- not what you want to hear, and you can actually feel like they care about you. We just hope the housing market picks up so we can sell and get back East!

[Mojo Riley]

I agree with all of the posters who said they feel that "Minnesota Nice" is something of a front. You will not often find blatantly rude people, but you'll also probably not find much genuine "friendliness."

IMHO, the people here are like the food- inoffensive, but sort of bland. If not for school, I think I would have had a tough time gettting to know people. People here are mostly not at all interested in expanding their social circles, and many will smile in your face (or give you the sickening sweetness) and then roll their eyes when you turn your back. I've seen coworkers (born and bred Minnesotans) do this to other coworkers for no earthly reason I could see.

By contrast I found it incredibly easy to make "real" friends in Chicago and New Orleans. They might be a bit more, shall I say "brash," but they're also more interested in getting to know you and socializing with new people.

[booyalab]

Originally Posted by kim825

They have such a bad opinion of East Coast folks and most have no first hand experience knowing any. It's a shame that the east coast gets a bad rap. Where I'm from people are really friendly, tell you like it is -- not what you want to hear, and you can actually feel like they care about you. We just hope the housing market picks up so we can sell and get back East!

I have firsthand experience of the east coast and I also grew up in MN and I have to say that people on the east coast are generally much ruder and more obnoxious than they are in the midwest. Also, I don't think PA is very representative of the entire east coast.

Yes, one could say that Minnesota Nice is a 'front' but that's what politeness IS, isn't it? It means not taking your bad day out on strangers. It means thinking before you speak, and in general just not being a total a**hole because you feel like it.

Yeah, people on either coasts are more outgoing than middle america, but they're also more likely to be criminals or (ew) celebrities (as evidenced by the higher crime rates and celebrity rates respectively)

[Mojo Riley]

[quote=booyalab;602853]I have firsthand experience of the east coast and I also grew up in MN and I have to say that people on the east coast are generally much ruder and more obnoxious than they are in the midwest. Also, I don't think PA is very representative of the entire east coast.

Yes, one could say that Minnesota Nice is a 'front' but that's what politeness IS, isn't it? It means not taking your bad day out on strangers. It means thinking before you speak, and in general just not being a total a**hole because you feel like it.

Yeah, people on either coasts are more outgoing than middle america, but they're also more likely to be criminals or (ew) celebrities (as evidenced by the higher crime rates and celebrity rates respectively)



Your comments about the east coast, while certainly permissible as a matter of opinion, are fine, but stand in contrast to the evidence. A recent poll found that New Yorkers are actually the "friendliest" in the nation. In my experience, the New Yorkers (and other east-coaster) I've known, were nothing but kind.....perhaps this is another simple case of getting exactly what you give out? Just a thought....


As for you comments about "politeness," I think you're a little off-track here. There is a world of difference between "politeness" and genuine "friendliness." While I agree that good manners and civility are important, for people looking to expand (or create) a social circle in a brand new place, they will be more interested in meeting people that can offer more than mere civility.

OK, this last part is just bizarre, and honestly not worth even a response...you sound, at best a little sheltered, and at worst, a bit paranoid. You do understand that it the majority of the east coast were "criminals" it wouldn't be the economic powerhouse that it is, right?

[Lindenin]

Very interesting post.

I now live in MInnesota, but before that lived in Colorado, Texas, California, Chicago, NYC, and a couple other spots along the way. My conclusion is this: No one state has a monopoly on "friendliness". In fact, I'd say there are about the same proportion of genuinely good hearted and nasty people in every state I've lived in. Sure, there are different styles.... in New York, directness is a virtue. In California, being balanced and "cool" is viewed as a good thing. But those style traits don't translate to one being a good person on the inside.

The difference is this: In places like Minnesota (and there are others as well), a high value is placed on civility, being approachable, and allowing interactions to be carried out in a generally pleasant manner. That is Minnesota nice. I have never thought that Minnesota Nice had meant that we were inherently more sincere or virtuous people. In fact, I agree with several that Minnesota isn't always the easiest place for newcomers to make new circles of friends (which is a midwest trait, in my experience). After spending well over a decade living in other places which I thoroughly enjoyed, I realize that we Minnesotans aren't perfect, and the people in those others places I lived weren't either.

So, is Minnesota Nice alive? Given my definition of it meaning civility, pleasantness, and approachability, yes it is. Was it ever meant to mean that we are better people than anyone else? No, not in my opinion.