Rochester: Friendly or Minnesota "nice"? (Minneapolis, Byron: houses, job market)

[fromupthere]

This whole discussion has gotten off topic. It was a question about Rochester and the people here, not about Minnesota and what Minnesotans are like as a whole.

[uptown_urbanist]

It's gone off from Rochester specifically, but for the OP, I don't think Rochester residents are significantly different than people from other places in Minnesota. I doubt that it's any more difficult or any easier to meet friends in Rochester than it is in the Twin Cities (and while I don't know, I would guess that Minneapolis probably has a higher percentage of transplants/non-natives than does Rochester)

[Clifford63]

Originally Posted by cdubs3201

I love how someone voices an opinion that isn't in agreement with another's so they are deemed as to have "something wrong". I don't want people coming up to me and telling me they don't like me to my face, what a world that would be! I just don't like the phony-ness and people who pretend to be your friend, or go out of their way to be friendly when they have dislikes about the person. I like know who my friends are. I just found from personal experience that there was a lot of that goin on in MN.

Also, do you really have that much time on your hands where you research everyone's old posts and bring those into a discussion that has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE TOPIC?

Really? Ya do that? Really?

Maybe I just don't understand your perspective on all the phony stuff. Honestly it sounds like typical high school and frat house stuff that revolves around sexual tension.

[Clifford63]

Originally Posted by uptown_urbanist

It's gone off from Rochester specifically, but for the OP, I don't think Rochester residents are significantly different than people from other places in Minnesota. I doubt that it's any more difficult or any easier to meet friends in Rochester than it is in the Twin Cities (and while I don't know, I would guess that Minneapolis probably has a higher percentage of transplants/non-natives than does Rochester)

I did a two year stint in Rochester and it is a bit different than the cities, but not overly so.

I was fresh out of college so what I was looking for 20 years ago was a lot different than what I value today.

I found the city to be very clean, very proud, and people were nice. I was working at IBM and many of the engineers were older, so not a great place to find friends, but I did manage to find a couple good ones.

I would say things seemed to be a bit more conservative, but not over the top. Overall, education level there is very high. Between IBM and Mayo, there are a lot of people with higher degrees.

Regarding transplants, I think both Mayo and IBM draw pretty big numbers although IBM is not growing of late.

At the time I was there, I was not completely thrilled. This was more about me and what I was looking for than the town though. I doubt that I would feel that way today just because what you value tends to change over the years.

I ended up moving on, but that was due to career opportunitiy more than anything else.

[TootsieWootsie]

What I have read lately on some posts is that it is "hard" to make friends in Rochester. Does anyone have any feeling about this statement?

[Clifford63]

Originally Posted by TootsieWootsie

What I have read lately on some posts is that it is "hard" to make friends in Rochester. Does anyone have any feeling about this statement?

I would say it really depends on the person more than the place. Some people are really good at networking, finding new friends, change etc. Other people struggle with this to some degree. It also matters what you are looking for to. For example a young hipster might find the place conservative and boring, but a married couple might have a completely different perspective.

I would agree that some MN people are fairly reserved and are not going to open up immediatly, but I have also seen many cases where new neighbors are very welcoming.

There is a lot of things you can do to make friends just about anywhere. Getting involved in the community is a great way to meet people. So are churches, hobbies, sports and recreation activities. There is a lot to do, just a matter of finding something that you enjoy and finding people with common interests.

I don't agree with comments that many people are phony and superficial more than other places. As long as you come with an open mind and willingness to reach out, try new things etc, I cannot imagine it being more difficult settling in Rochester than other places.

[fromupthere]

I think if you are outgoing and are willing to start conversations with people, you will not have any problem. I'm more of an introvert so when I first moved here it was a bit harder for me. But as Clifford said - it's more individual people. I have since made great friends here and actually feel I'm a little more extroverted than I was living in NE MN. Perhaps it's age but I also think I've met people here who I just have connected very well with.

I had lived here for about a year and a half in the 90s and I can honestly say when I moved back here a few years ago, it's a different city.

[Acer19]

Originally Posted by tindo80

Interesting.

Ive known several 'transplants' to MN who say the same thing, it sucks bad at first if you are coming from the more 'social' west or east, but once you 'figure it out' its ok.

Im getting ready to finish school and decide where I want to live for good, and though I am 90% sure I want to either move back the the greater northwest (opposite of minnesota nice, no tact, but extremely open friendliness), the economy is tough and seems a bit more stable here.

I am wondering for myself, is it worth 'figuring out'? What happens in 10-20 years down the line if I want to move again...would my personality change to something similar to locals, which as I said, is very polite, but highly standoffish and fairly off putting...which can be seen in some part of the country as rude and overly passive aggressive? It seems folks from outside MN (except folks from down south) get along a lot easier both with others than people from here, or who have been here most of their lives.

Would adapting ones personality to becoming 'Minnesota Nice' be an overall better thing than remaining in ones previous mindset and letting things frustrate you?

You ask some good questions that is for sure. As for me, I adapt pretty well to my surroundings no matter where I am. At least I like to think so. I watch people very close and see how they act and conduct there lives. I then try to do the same.

However, after living here for eight years I do not have any plans to move back. Alternatively, move anywhere else.

As you mentioned, at first I hated it here. Now I like it. It took a while, but eventually it all worked out. In addition, for the best. I have it better now then any other state I have lived in. Moreover, my financial status is the best it has ever been. Why would I want to move?

[tindo80]

Originally Posted by cdubs3201

The way you receive Minnesotan's or the "Minnesota nice" depends on the person. Do you want to be sold bullsh*t and buy it? or would you rather have someone tell you how it is?

Minnesotans will be nice to your face, just about all of them. But in all honestly, you may never have an understanding of who REALLY is your friend, or if someone even likes you at all, because they will act the same way to you regardless.

It's been my experience in other areas that if people don't like you, you will at least know it. And when they do act like your friend, you can trust the fact they truly like you and really are your friend, because there is no layer of BS.

Even if you try to call out a Minnesotan or apologize for any reason you believe as to why they dislike you, the Minnesotan will still continue to down play it like it's no big deal and that you are truly friends.

That I can say is definately a MN trait that most share, not all, but most. I'm not naive to think it's not like that in other areas of the country (maybe the south), but there's definately places in the country where people are not so full of BS.

How's that for an opinion?

This has been the larger bulk of my experience as well. Minnesotans (Ill admit, this is a generalization...by no means are all MN's I have met, I am just commenting on the trend as to what Ive seen) tend to be very polite to people they have contact with, but not so much when speaking of others they arent in immediate contact with. Theres a lot of 'fake'ness going around.

A big think ive noticed is that if you are new, people are not exactly 'welcoming' of you. In the west, other people, depending on if they see or feel anything possibly in common with you, all but go out of their way to engage a person they dont know. In MN, forget it. And any attempts to make new friends are met with resistance and isolation. Polite isolation, but isolation all the same. Granted there are exceptions (people you work with often, or go to school with and see often...even that is a stretch).

In the west, people have a surprising lack of tact. They arent afraid to call out something they think about another person, whether its something wrong or right with them. If someone is frustrated with another person, they dont hesitate as much to go for the throat. In MN, you get the same 'minnesota nice' to your face regardless of what a person thinks of you.

Acer - Financial status is definitely a biggy, and would definitely have an impact on how much a like a place. I could love Portland like its Eden, but I would hate living there broke. Housing is fairly cheap in MN compared to other places, and the economy is surprisingly stable.

[TootsieWootsie]

tindo80: When you speak of "in the west" what area do you mean? California?
Utah? Wyoming? Seattle? Please define.