Help middle school bullying searching for alternative (Stephen: home, neighborhood)

[Linda123]

My 7th grader had a horrible year and I'm looking for other schools to send her to. I'm new to all of this and have no idea where to go or who to talk to. What are her options? I'm willing to drive her to another school district within reason. Northern suburbs or northeastern. Are there any private schools that provide funding? I'm just so frustrated with the Chisago Lakes public school system. Is there a web site that posts schools in my area and has parent feedback on them? Is there an agency that could help with selecting a school and helping with finances. I don't even know the right questions to ask. Please help.

[2blessed2stress]

I'd start with the school principal for help finding alternatives and if that doesn't work out, contact your district administrator. Try this site...As for private schools, you probably have to contact them individually. But, please don't discard public schools. I don't think paying for your child's education automatically guarantees that they will get a good education or won't face any of the issues your 7th grader is facing right now...

Good luck

minnesota.schooltree.org

[catluvr]

We send our child to private school for precisely the same reason. I did discard public schools. Parents don't care for the most part until it's their child being bullied and teachers/principals can't do a darn thing. I do not feel public schools are a good fit for our child either. Good luck with your search. If you want private schools, search under google or greatschools.com. Good luck.

[golfgal]

Originally Posted by catluvr

We send our child to private school for precisely the same reason. I did discard public schools. Parents don't care for the most part until it's their child being bullied and teachers/principals can't do a darn thing. I do not feel public schools are a good fit for our child either. Good luck with your search. If you want private schools, search under google or greatschools.com. Good luck.

This has more to do with the school then with the families that attend the school. Our kids attended a private school and the principal, who was wonderful otherwise, had a policy of 'it is one child's word against another's so there isn't anything I can do". Our son was a victim of a bully at that school and we ended up moving him to the public school. That school took a very firm stance on bullies and he had a much better time there.

Most private schools offer some sort of scholarship for students. You really need to contact the schools individually though because it isn't something that they will post on a website usually.

[Loon75]

go to greatschools.net or you could research some charter schools. But, I have no idea if there are any up in Chisago. Another option would be home school. That is a really tough age, and if she is motivated, she could easily learn at home on a computer based school. You could enroll her in outside activities to socialize such as community sports or music lessons or the like. Good luck!

[mngma]

Seventh grade is nasty. I remember well. Contact the office for the district, they should be able to help with other options for school, but speaking from personal experience, bullies are in every school and the new kids are usually the fairest game. There should be an advocate in the school who can help. Tell her its hard, but not giving them things to work with is the easiest. Ignore them, they go away eventually because they are not getting what they want. Or see about talking to a teacher in her new grade level. Maybe she has a student in mind who could mentor your daughter, help her out in a peer sense. Good Luck. I had a rough couple of years in school. Im a grandma now, but it is hard to forget.

[whatever]

Yeah, 7th grade was brutal.
They can change schools but eventually they'll run into another bully.
The best thing to do is to not be a victim. Send the kid to a self defense class and help them work on their self esteem. Yes, there's always someone stronger/faster/meaner, but most bullies pick on someone weak. Give a kid a little self confidence in that way and it will last a lifetime.
Above all, that mentality doesn't last forever. There are bullies all over, but in 7th/8th grade its the worst. Manage it for the long term NOW.
Good luck.

[herbwoman]

All of my 4 kids were teased and bullied to some degree but my son who was very shy and sensitive had the hardest time with it. My husband and i had no idea how bad it was or how deeply it impacted him until a year ago when he took his own life. He was 21 yr. old. He wrote that the humiliation that he endured over the years from being bullied and teased left him with no self esteem and he felt like a loser. I can't tell you the regret i have. If only i knew then what i know now. I am going back to college to finish getting my degree in psych and hope in some way to do something about bullying and to help kids who are bullied. I really believe they are overlooked and sort of discounted. Anyway, i feel passionately about this and would be happy to help in any way i can.

[AQUEMINI331]

You know how you defeat a bully? You beat their ass. I'm being dead serious. When I was about that age, I was teased and bullied too. I was from a different neighborhood, I was biracial and I was smart, so basically kids felt they had every right to bully me. After I got my ass whupped a couple of times, i learned to fight back and fight anybody in the school that wanted it.


I'm not exactly proud of this, but after years of being bullied, and after going to another school, I became a bully. Me and the other boys in our class picked on this kid named Steven relentlessly. Looking back I guess I did it because I thought it was fun to pick on someone else and feel superior after years of feeling inferior, but now I realize how wrong I was. I haven't seen Stephen since 8th grade, I'm kind of scared to see him now because of all of the bad things I did to him, he probably deserves to kill me for what I did to him.


The only point that I"m trying to make is that I've been on both sides of the fence, I've been bullied and I've been a bully. Trust me, the only way to defeat a bully is to whup the bully's ass. Period. No kid will bully a kid who will fight back.


_

[SaintPaulGirl]

Hi Linda123,
I hope you found a better situation for your child. Bullying is such a common phenomenon and junior high is such a tough experience for many because of it. According to what I've read, the worst advice is to tell the victim to ignore it and it will go away. In fact, the bullying will get worse. Herbwoman, my heart goes out to you. I just shared your post with my DH. As parents ourselves, we can't even imagine....

There's a website dedicated to school-age bullying, called "Taking the Bully by the Horns," (see link below) and although the graphics are a bit hokey, the information is good Taking the Bully by the Horns - Bullying, School Violence, Self-esteem . Co-author Dr. Jay Carter is someone whose advice on adult bullying was featured in O Magazine, Oprah's periodical. He and co-author Kathy Knoll have a book, "Taking the Bully by the Horns," and they provide workshops and prevention programs. (And no, lol, I don't know either of them nor do I stand to gain in anyway by referring to them.)

While this does not directly address how to find good private schools or procure financial aid, as some of the other posters have pointed out, bullies are everywhere and hopefully someone will find this link to be a valuable resource for constructively eradicating/controlling bullying, on individual and institutional (e.g., principal, school district) levels.

Good luck!