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Old 12-27-2010, 10:09 AM
 
Location: NE Mississippi
13,650 posts, read 8,565,244 times
Reputation: 19863

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Some of the posters hereabouts are mere Southbashers. Southbashers, in my experience have rarely actually been anyplace other than their own place, and while certainly entitled to their own opinion cannot lay claim to having any foundation for that opinion.

But others have actual experience in living in Mississippi, and find it not to their taste. In fact, it seems to me that Mississippi gets more hate-posts from neophyte residents who declare themselves to be temporary than any other state. But that's just casual observation.

In 1970, according to census, an astounding 91% of Mississippi residents were born here. 91%! It's a little less now.
I wasn't born here. But at our family Christmas - hosting 4 complete generations of my wife's family - I was the only one not born in Mississippi. Her Aunts, her daughters, our Sons in Law, their children were all born in this State.
Today my wife is out returning/exchanging Christmas gifts. She is with a friend she has had for 45 years. Also born in Mississippi.
I asked my wife to sit and think of someone she knows who was not born here. Me. That's who she came up with. Her husband.
Lest you think my wife is someone who has never left the city limits, let me assure you that you are wrong. Together we ran a business that required frequent travel to New York, Massachusetts, Texas, and many other places. We closed it and she retired in 2006.

Just that point - pointing out that the vast majority of people living here were born here - may help some of you who find yourself feeling like outsiders understand why you (and I) are indeed outsiders. And will always remain so.
But I can also insure you that if you accept your status it is entirely possible to be a happy outsider. If you expect to be embraced as a new addition and included in every conversation you will be disappointed. Conversation among old friends invariably turns to other old friends and you will not be familiar with these new subjects.
Let it go.
Friends talk about friends no matter where you go. Conversation in Mississippi is much like conversation in whatever state you are from. It's just that in Mississippi the population doesn't shift as much as it did in your state. So the list of common friends is very, very long.
It sort of reminds me of going to your spouse's class reunion. You stand there patiently listening to the conversation and smile while others guffaw.
I've done that.
I have been patient ( a quality worth developing, by the way) and listened to conversation that seemed to be vacuous. I have smiled while others whooped it up. I have listened while my wife gushes about what a great time she had (I was bored stiff).
And I have been rewarded.
Life comes at you in two parts, I say.
1) Take care of business - that is, just do the work that has come your way.
2) Accept and respect the people around you. They are who they are, and nearly every one of them is worthwhile to some degree. Some more than others, granted, but still, all worthwhile.

I have found that keeping these two tenets close at hand will result in your finding friendship and acceptance no matter where you are.

I hope this helps someone and invite others to share their perspective.

Listener
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Old 12-27-2010, 12:06 PM
 
Location: Milwaukee/Biloxi Beach
76 posts, read 88,586 times
Reputation: 96
What a great post, you are a very wise individual. I, along with others should heed your suggestions; especially, for me, the patience part and of course, your very name, LISTENER...all of us, I am certain, need to learn to listen more; actively listen; and talk much less. One rep point for you!
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Old 12-27-2010, 01:53 PM
 
371 posts, read 326,494 times
Reputation: 185
Quote:
Originally Posted by Listener2307 View Post
In 1970, according to census, an astounding 91% of Mississippi residents were born here. 91%! It's a little less now.......
Most of the bashers realize that the natives stay in MS. It's why they talk so highly of this place. You won't know a turd stinks if it's all you've known.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Listener2307 View Post
Life comes at you in two parts, I say.
1) Take care of business - that is, just do the work that has come your way.
2) Accept and respect the people around you. They are who they are, and nearly every one of them is worthwhile to some degree. Some more than others, granted, but still, all worthwhile.

I have found that keeping these two tenets close at hand will result in your finding friendship and acceptance no matter where you are.
I can buy into #1. But there's no reason to "accept and respect" everyone. That's one of the most asinine ideas being thrown around America today. To "accept and respect" everyone means to accept that every action is acceptable.

Sorry pal, but one thing I accept is that "right is right and wrong is wrong". And while some fat unemployed teenage MS native might want to have a baby, I will niether accept nor respect her, and if we speak I'll ask her if she's looked into an abortion or giving the child up for adoption. While some meth addict might want me to accept and respect them, I'll suggest they hold their breath and wait for it to happen. If they hold it long enough I promise I'll respect them. You might think for a moment that I'll respect that fat slob in a medicaid provided electric cart, but it's never going to happen.

In all the "bashing" (aka honest) posts I haven't seen people saying that the people of MS were less friendly than elsewhere. I've seen the comments about ignorance, lack of values, lack of activities, lack of health and numerous other social issues. Sure you are very unlikely to go to a movie in MS w/o the rude person on their cell phone. Yes, the natives seem to be excessively loud. Of course they frown on education and facts. But most of the time the people here are just as polite to talk to as people in any other state. Just don't expect them to have much meaningful to say.


The simplest way to understand MS culture is to know that education and facts have no place in this state.
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Old 12-27-2010, 04:16 PM
 
Location: NE Mississippi
13,650 posts, read 8,565,244 times
Reputation: 19863
Hey Randy...

I guess we could talk about acceptance with respect to the idea that you can accept someone for who they are and accept the fact - and I do believe it is a fact - that you cannot change them.
Understand, please, that no one is asking you to condone the actions of someone who is acting irresponsibly; I am only suggesting that you accept them for who they are and find the part of them that is worthwhile. Like heat, it can never be completely removed from any of us. It may be small, but it is always there.

People here have nothing "meaningful to say"? Meaningful to whom? People say what is meaningful to them, not what is meaningful to you.
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Old 12-27-2010, 04:48 PM
 
371 posts, read 326,494 times
Reputation: 185
Quote:
Originally Posted by Listener2307 View Post
Hey Randy...

I guess we could talk about acceptance with respect to the idea that you can accept someone for who they are and accept the fact - and I do believe it is a fact - that you cannot change them.
Understand, please, that no one is asking you to condone the actions of someone who is acting irresponsibly; I am only suggesting that you accept them for who they are and find the part of them that is worthwhile. Like heat, it can never be completely removed from any of us. It may be small, but it is always there.
The tolerance and acceptance of "problem people" is a mistake. In the 1950's and prior the people that would act irresponsibly might be shunned or treated as second rate for years. While this seems harsh, it provides a role model for others. If women that have a child when not married are treat like hell, then other women learn from that. If men that father child out of wedlock are constantly treated poorly and told have they are a failure to their kids it again provides a great example.

Or you can accept and respect them, and watch other people follow the same poor path. Hell, if you're lucky that decision will lead you to 45% of your kids being in broken homes and you can celebrate being #1 in failing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Listener2307 View Post
People here have nothing "meaningful to say"? Meaningful to whom? People say what is meaningful to them, not what is meaningful to you.
That's true. They may think that repeating incorrect ideas is meaningful. I value knowledge and intelligence. When I talk with people I hope to learn more, instead of become dumber. People in MS (as a whole) are more likely to make outsiders (as a whole) dumber if the outsiders believe what they say without looking into it. If it's something like the weather, or a place to fish or hunt, give them a chance. If it's a bit deeper or involved take their statements with a grain of salt.
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Old 12-27-2010, 05:23 PM
 
Location: Dallas, TX
5,681 posts, read 9,969,307 times
Reputation: 1891
Quote:
Originally Posted by randy8876 View Post
The tolerance and acceptance of "problem people" is a mistake. In the 1950's and prior the people that would act irresponsibly might be shunned or treated as second rate for years. While this seems harsh, it provides a role model for others. If women that have a child when not married are treat like hell, then other women learn from that. If men that father child out of wedlock are constantly treated poorly and told have they are a failure to their kids it again provides a great example.

Or you can accept and respect them, and watch other people follow the same poor path. Hell, if you're lucky that decision will lead you to 45% of your kids being in broken homes and you can celebrate being #1 in failing.



That's true. They may think that repeating incorrect ideas is meaningful. I value knowledge and intelligence. When I talk with people I hope to learn more, instead of become dumber. People in MS (as a whole) are more likely to make outsiders (as a whole) dumber if the outsiders believe what they say without looking into it. If it's something like the weather, or a place to fish or hunt, give them a chance. If it's a bit deeper or involved take their statements with a grain of salt.
Do you live in Mississippi? If you do, why don't you leave and find greener pastures? If you don't, then why are you posting such vitriol here? If you don't like it that much, do yourself & everyone else a favor and move on.
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Old 12-28-2010, 07:14 AM
 
371 posts, read 326,494 times
Reputation: 185
Quote:
Originally Posted by UpstateBooster View Post
Do you live in Mississippi? If you do, why don't you leave and find greener pastures? If you don't, then why are you posting such vitriol here? If you don't like it that much, do yourself & everyone else a favor and move on.
Yes I live here. Do you? If you don't why don't you move on? Clearly you left the state for a reason.

People that come to this state should be aware of it's "unique culture". Most of this state is run down and if it continues on this path it will continue to look more and more like a 3rd world country. If you live here and think it doesn't look like trash, it's because you are either used to your surroundings or you've barricaded away in a nice pocket.

Take the MS view on education. Education has little value, so people don't place importance on public schools. But, if education is important you should send your kids to private school, because they are unlikely to find education in the public sector.
I understand that schools in Mexico are worse, but that's no excuse for having a state in shambles. Remember, by age 5 a MS child is likely to have failing parents.
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Old 12-28-2010, 09:37 AM
 
Location: Dallas, TX
5,681 posts, read 9,969,307 times
Reputation: 1891
Quote:
Originally Posted by randy8876 View Post
Yes I live here. Do you? If you don't why don't you move on? Clearly you left the state for a reason.

People that come to this state should be aware of it's "unique culture". Most of this state is run down and if it continues on this path it will continue to look more and more like a 3rd world country. If you live here and think it doesn't look like trash, it's because you are either used to your surroundings or you've barricaded away in a nice pocket.

Take the MS view on education. Education has little value, so people don't place importance on public schools. But, if education is important you should send your kids to private school, because they are unlikely to find education in the public sector.
I understand that schools in Mexico are worse, but that's no excuse for having a state in shambles. Remember, by age 5 a MS child is likely to have failing parents.
I don't live there now, but I have 3 separate times in my life, all either due to job transfers/promotions (the reason we left this last time) or my family's moves as a child. My mom is from there, and I have a good bit of family in MS. I know it well. I just think you're stereotyping.

It seems to me that if you don't like it as much as you say, and don't think it will change, you should get on with your life elsewhere.
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Old 12-28-2010, 11:16 AM
 
371 posts, read 326,494 times
Reputation: 185
Quote:
Originally Posted by UpstateBooster View Post
....I just think you're stereotyping......
I feel the same way about almost every positive post. They are just stereotypes from long ago or very limited perspective.

At least I can back up my claims with facts, which is a major difference from the propaganda pushers.

Quote:
Originally Posted by UpstateBooster View Post
It seems to me that if you don't like it as much as you say, and don't think it will change, you should get on with your life elsewhere.
I will. But I'm here for work and won't through away my career just to get away from some rubbish. In two years I'll leave this state, and likely never return. MS has nothing to offer that other states don't provide, yet the other states provide it in better quality.

I suggest you start a thread titled "5 things MS does great" and see if 5 factual things can be found. Let's stick with postitve attributes that can be proven. And we'll define greatness as being in the top 10 states for that trait (a low standard). I would think with all the different traits and values out there this should be easy- unless MS is truly as bad off as what most outsiders believe.
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Old 12-28-2010, 06:50 PM
 
Location: Dallas, TX
5,681 posts, read 9,969,307 times
Reputation: 1891
Quote:
Originally Posted by randy8876 View Post
I feel the same way about almost every positive post. They are just stereotypes from long ago or very limited perspective.

At least I can back up my claims with facts, which is a major difference from the propaganda pushers.



I will. But I'm here for work and won't through away my career just to get away from some rubbish. In two years I'll leave this state, and likely never return. MS has nothing to offer that other states don't provide, yet the other states provide it in better quality.

I suggest you start a thread titled "5 things MS does great" and see if 5 factual things can be found. Let's stick with postitve attributes that can be proven. And we'll define greatness as being in the top 10 states for that trait (a low standard). I would think with all the different traits and values out there this should be easy- unless MS is truly as bad off as what most outsiders believe.
Good luck trying to eventually be happy... Somewhere.
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