Looking to relocate- 'My husband's black and I'm white- will we be okay there? (living, restaurant)

[alligatorboy]

I know some things about Mississippi because I read a book about the state from the AAA. I have been to North Carolina, so I do know some things about Southern Culture.

[Sam I Am]

Alligator, I don't want to be the one to pop your balloon, but Mississippi isn't like NC any more than it is like Nebraska. The deep south has it's own culture, that's just a fact. Not to be rude, but reading won't allow you to understand the nuances of the South. Sometimes people are just people, but their location dictates much of their behavior and the norm of daily life. I DO think you will find things not emphasized in a book or even mentioned. Just from one state to the next there will be changes in a lot of aspects of daily life. When you jump a few states the changes are more pronounced. I'll issue the caveat that I've not lived in NC or Nebraska, but did live in MS for a large portion of my life. I adore the state, but life in Arkansas is considerably different than life in Mississippi, and we're talking a 300 mile difference...not so much space in the bigger picture. It's just something you have to experience to understand, or maybe you have to be raised in the South. Just a personal opinion, may be right, may be wrong - but that's been my experience.

[Jessiegee40]

Alligator Boy also posted on the Louisiana New Orleans site. He was telling people where they should move to in New Orleans. Why??? I would think that folks here would like actual experience over something that someone read. Isn't that what this is all about?

[alligatorboy]

Originally Posted by Jessiegee40

Alligator Boy also posted on the Louisiana New Orleans site. He was telling people where they should move to in New Orleans. Why??? I would think that folks here would like actual experience over something that someone read. Isn't that what this is all about?

I was just giving advice, not telling them which part of New Orleans they should live in.

[Jessiegee40]

Alligator Boy, this is what you wrote:

I know you said you would like to live in the Uptown/Garden District area, but those are not the best areas of New Orleans. If you are concerned about the crime, I would suggest living in the French Quarter, along the Misssissippi River. The part of the French Quarter that is by the Mississippi River is one area in New Orleans that has very little crime and won't be washed away if a hurricane hits the area. There is also Bywater, a neighborhood that is only minutes away from the French Quarter, or Metairie, a suburb that is only 15 minutes away.

All I'm saying is that you need to know what you are talking about before you give advice to someone. There are very nice areas uptown and in the Garden District. Million dollar homes. Also the Bywater area has some bad neighborhoods.

You might want to stick to the area you live in or have lived in the past.

Come visit us in Louisiana and you'll "pass a good time" (that means have fun).

[Muhnay]

Originally Posted by Sam I Am

Alligator, I don't want to be the one to pop your balloon, but Mississippi isn't like NC any more than it is like Nebraska. The deep south has it's own culture, that's just a fact. Not to be rude, but reading won't allow you to understand the nuances of the South. Sometimes people are just people, but their location dictates much of their behavior and the norm of daily life. I DO think you will find things not emphasized in a book or even mentioned. Just from one state to the next there will be changes in a lot of aspects of daily life. When you jump a few states the changes are more pronounced. I'll issue the caveat that I've not lived in NC or Nebraska, but did live in MS for a large portion of my life. I adore the state, but life in Arkansas is considerably different than life in Mississippi, and we're talking a 300 mile difference...not so much space in the bigger picture. It's just something you have to experience to understand, or maybe you have to be raised in the South. Just a personal opinion, may be right, may be wrong - but that's been my experience.

Very True SAM.

My personal experience on the Mississippi Gulf Coast.. I lived in Gulfport, went to enter my kids in the school there.. The Director there leaned over the desk and whispered, "this is a mainly black school.. you should look at other schools for your kids. I can refer you to a nice all white private school". We could not afford a private school and I lived in an all black neighborhood.. I was the crazy white folk they talk about.. had a cop come to a screeching halt one afternoon when I was watering my yard.. he got out of his car and walk up on me and asked what I was doing there.. I told him watering my yard. He said I was either the craziest or dumbest person he ever met. He said just act crazy and they will leave you alone. I told him I had no problems there and I owned a gun and was a former cop in Texas.. he said Man we need a guy like you on our police force.. gave me some info and he left.

Here is one story to relate to what your asking about.

My son is 9, this little black girl had a crush on him and started telling everyone he was her boyfriend.. so this little black kid her cousin comes and stands in my drive way with a baseball bat screaming Cracker get out her, no cracker is going to date my cousin. I walked out and he said get your son out her so I can beat his butt ( Ass ). I said take your buttt home before I punt your puppy ass over my house.. he ran home and his daddy, a really large 400+ pound man cames waddling down the street.. he said 'What did you say to my boy?" I told him and told him why, and out of no where his hand came from way up high like he was reaching for god and down lifting his son about 3-4 feet off the ground when it connected to his buttocks, and said.. "boy get home and you leave this man and his family alone". he then said "I am very sorry sir it wont happen again". I told him no problem, and he wobbled on home.

So yes there are racial tensions on the Gulf coast. Saying there isn't is a bold face lie.

I view questions like this as goading to start racial tensions.. and to start up a ruckus.. people know that mixed couples in the south normally are frowned upon... but many people are too proper to say so openly in public.

I would live there again in a heart beat.. with all that said above, I found both Black and White in the area to be friendly , respectable, and neighborly. Willing to help a neighbor with out any notice.. yes I met my share of grouches too... but they live everywhere.

So I guess what I am saying is.. you may not get much public attention, other than stares and odd looks, but you will be the talk of the town behind closed doors. Some maybe bold enough to say something in public. It is the south still and old habits die hard.

[jbub22]

Regretfully, its still alive here in Mississippi. I am white married to a beautiful hispanic/black. My spouse and kids have recieved numerous comments while here. I don't care what anyone has told you it's subtle and does raise it's ugly head on occasion. No threats only comments, it's not the 50's where they are driving around in trucks to kill people. Its there because my family sees it and smells it. The cold hard truth they are not accepted here. As a white man raised to think everyone is equal it kills me to see this mentality.

[Claude Wilson]

Originally Posted by Sam I Am

Alligator, I don't want to be the one to pop your balloon, but Mississippi isn't like NC any more than it is like Nebraska. The deep south has it's own culture, that's just a fact. Not to be rude, but reading won't allow you to understand the nuances of the South. Sometimes people are just people, but their location dictates much of their behavior and the norm of daily life. I DO think you will find things not emphasized in a book or even mentioned. Just from one state to the next there will be changes in a lot of aspects of daily life. When you jump a few states the changes are more pronounced. I'll issue the caveat that I've not lived in NC or Nebraska, but did live in MS for a large portion of my life. I adore the state, but life in Arkansas is considerably different than life in Mississippi, and we're talking a 300 mile difference...not so much space in the bigger picture. It's just something you have to experience to understand, or maybe you have to be raised in the South. Just a personal opinion, may be right, may be wrong - but that's been my experience.

SAM, this is a REALLY AWESOME post.

So true.

And btw, I have spent a month not long ago traveling
all around Mississippi, but mainly Jackson metro area.

I found the people to be extraordinarily complex, totally diff
than the ones in California, but really nice.

In fact, I can say that I hated to leave Mississippi.

It really is SLOWER, it's a diff mood and pace there, it's
also "spooky" to those from huge/modern Metro areas like LA,
(the old war sites and plantations are shocking when you realize
they're not on tv but are FOR REAL), but that's what makes it so cool.

I experienced less racism in Mississippi (none) than I normally do in
Orange County, Ca.

And that shocked the h*ll out of me.

[Claude Wilson]

Originally Posted by irvm

If you don't read about hate crimes in California, it's probably because of those rose-colored glasses you all seem to wear. You know, the ones which make Californians ever-so more beautiful, loving, and 'accepting' of 'diversity' than the hulking uncivilized brutes who inhabit those other, unfortunate states. Puhleeze. Some of us have lived in lala land, and know better.

Let me tell you something---California is more racist than Mississippi.

It's the FAKEST, PHONIEST most "deranged" place you ever want to
live in.

And it proves to me that "FORCED Diversity" is just as destructive and
ridiculous as Forced Segregation was.

No matter how much diversity and MIXING you have in California, you still
the same people ON TOP and the same people ON THE BOTTOM.

In fact, I think the "bottom" people lose a lot of their identity and power.

There's no "community" here (S. California) if you're black (they blacks are all all "auditioning" and "Begging" to be part of Mexican or white communities and don't have time to nurture their own).

No matter where you go--the people are not friendly.

The place is SO HUGE that nobody knows anybody out here, so
nobody speaks on the street or in the markets. It's like millions
of Spa Guests moping about in a trance.

Everyone's always POSING.

Hate Crimes are out of control--usually Latinos attacking
blacks who they now outnumber in Cali 15 to 3.

70% of the women are plastic surgery enhanced.

GAY LOVE is the #1 love and the most celebrated (not that I'm against
it---it's great to see gays having their own mecca; I'm glad for them
---but I'm not gay, so it doesn't do anything for me).

I've live in Cali over 15 years and the only thing I like is the weather.

[Delta Planter]

Originally Posted by Claude Wilson

Everyone's always POSING.

Now, that is a term worth hanging on to. It fits the bill in more places than I've seen in a long, long time.