Looking to relocate- 'My husband's black and I'm white- will we be okay there? (Jackson: fit in, how much)

[JennILAJJ]

Hello all!
We're looking to relocate to Mississipi to a small town in the NE of the state for a job/ training opportunity. We've heard about some beautiful things about Mississippi. I'm writing to this forum because I think I can get some straight-forward answers without offending anyone. Like I said in the title, my husband is black and I'm white, and we have two young children. We've been married for just over 10 years and I'm incredibly blessed to have him as a husband!
We're the kind of people who get along with pretty much everyone, and so I'm not too worried about us, but I am a little concerned for our children. Should I be, or am I worrying for nothing? Where we live, while race may be an issue in some people's minds, it's pretty much not an issue for most people. We've asked friends, co-workers and others about Mississippi and we get mixed answers. Some say that they would think twice before moving there as a "mixed" couple, while others say that it depends on what we focus on and that Mississippi is a beautiful state with beautiful people!
If you were us, would you think twice about moving your children there, or not at all?
I appreciate your honest and candid answers! Thanks for taking the time to respond.
Have a great day all!

Jennifer

[Kicking4JC]

The only thing I see anywhere in Mississippi is with the older people, age 60 and up. They always love to gossip, and talk, but it seems that whenever it is a dumb person, and a black person, you know both. Don't think I'm saying black people are dumb. I just hear many many times about this dumb black guy at work, or this dumb black girl at the store, etc. but if it was a white person, it was just a person. I dont' know why they have to stress their skin color. Also, I noticed some of the older people still use the N word which I can not stand. I don't know much about the NE part, for I live south of Memphis, but Tupelo area is a larger city and it might be a little better. Some of the "redneck" back country ares might be a culture shock. They tend to love to wave their confederate flag high. Some people take that the wrong way. I being born and raised till 13 am from Wisconsin, but sometimes those flags being exposed bring out a wrong signal.

[muskrad]

I grew up in Mississippi before moving away for medical training etc. Just moved back a few years ago. I would in all honesty say "it depends". If you are talking about olive branch or hernando then they are nothing more than Memphis suburbs with a state line somewhere in the middle of the road and you would be just another couple. If you are talking about a town in the delta then I would say in all honesty that while no one would harass you, you might find it difficult making friends. Mississippi is a weird place in that things are very different depending on what part of the state you are in. The northwest corner, Jackson and the Coast are fairly progressive. Tupelo and Hattiesburg are in that group on a good day. The rest of the state is a crap shoot. The mentality of many people in the delta is still a few decades behind on BOTH sides of the racial divide. I have lived or worked at one time or another in Memphis, Jackson, Starkville, Vicksburg, Hattiesburg, Greenwood, Prentiss, Pontotoc, Ripley and Grenada, so if you have a question about anywhere specific, I will answer it if I can. Hope this helps.



Where specifically were you thinking of moving?

[Overqualified]

I agree with Muskrad. That pretty much it in a nut shell. I imagine you, in the most part, proably wouldnt experience much more racism then then do now. I see alot of interracial families around. I believe the Black Mississippians have a bigger problem with it than whites in alot of parts.

Good Luck and Dont worry what others think. Its your family and life!

[jstump7697]

I come from a small town 1 hour south of chicago and we didnt have a black in our town at all, when i would leave town and go up to chicago or other cities or when we played football against those more northern towns is the only time we were exposed to them, and to be honest it is like anything else in this world if you ask me, you have those that are idiots and those that are not. You have white trash and you have negros. You dont bother me, i dont bother you, give me respect and you shall see respect in return.

I have only seen clicks at work but no water cooler talk, no white gowns anywhere, other then the memphis mayor and his stupid comments and actions i havent seen mich racism here. As anywhere it does exist, you can never get away from that. I believe it is all in your heart and your morals.

good luck to you all

[Frank1938]

I don't think most people here really pay much attention to mixed couples. It is not uncommon.
One of our local restaurants is owned by white lady & her black husband. They do a good business

[angiestevens]

i have lived in south ms. all of my life and despite what people think, we are not a bunch of racists down here. i know you are moving into the ne part and it is not much different there from here. there will always be that one person who has a problem with it and whether they choose to display it or keep it to themselves is unpredictable, but for the most part, people in this region of the u.s. accept that sort of thing naturally just because it is so common now. the preacher at my church is black and he has a white wife and they have two beautiful little girls together. no one ever even sees them in a certain way other than wonderful people. take advantage of moving, you're children will love ne mississippi. everyone is so personable and everybody knows and wants to help everyone. i have relatives all over ms. and in fact at least two couple are interracial. you guys will be fine oh and that guy that says everywhere but the places he named in ms. are crapshoots, well, gulfport and biloxi are wonderful places to live... i used to take that for granted until after hurricane katrina and really saw everyone helping one another and pulling together as one. the south will prevail baby, it's just that good ol' southern hospitality. p.s. memphis is tennessee muskrad ...

[JennILAJJ]

To everyone who replied- Thanks!
I appreciate your candor- it's just what I was looking for.
The more people I talk to from Mississipi who are somehow involved in our moving out there, the more encouraged I am. You are right- no one likes everyone or every kind of person (me too, if I'm honest about it...) but it's really what we, as individuals, decide to make of others' opinions. I'm convinced that there are just as many friendly folks in the south as there are here in the South West US. So, thank you again to everyone who wrote- you all have my best wishes and may you all be blessed!
Have a great day!
MS- here we come! : )

Jennifer

[shorelinesponge]

Being insecure is normal, and it is okay. Moving to a new place is scarey as it is. But I am sure with the South's reputation your fears are based on your instincts to protect your children. However, I can reassure you that no matter where you live; you will always have to deal with prejudice of some sort. Wether it is about your weight, clothes, how you keep your house, and so forth. I grew up hated by most of my own family and has never really been accepted by very many people. No mattered how much I tried to fit in I never could. Until I became a pitbull owner, judge by a label instead of an individual. The legal defense is "punish the deed not the breed". What I find interesting is we are still judging ourselves by breeds and boodlines (Mexican,black, white, Cuban, Irish,etc... think about it how many times have you heard a label associated with each of these breeds). Yes, I know it is an animal but so are we. I found my space in this world, that no matter who, how, or how many people wanted me to be what they wanted me to be I am first me. They did not put me here God did and I live where my heart leads me. Teach your children to change the world not change for the world.

No matter if you do or don't move do it for the right reasons.

By the way I grew up in Alabama outside of Selma during the civil rights movement. I am an American mutt and proud of it.

Fun fact in the state of Louisiana if you are 1/16 black you are considered black on your birth certificate. When I was born my family hid the fact that I was part Indian, because it would have been put on my birth certificate. I would have been sent to a reservation. However, being part white I would not have been accepted by the other Indians. White people didn't like me because Iwas Indian, Indians didn't like me because I was white, and my black friends couldn't like me because of the civil rights. My mother's family didn't like me because I was my father's daughter (the only reminder of him"note I was a living target") my father's family didn't like me because I was my mother's kid(considered didn't exist). So you see your life is what you make it not others around you.

If you did move to the South you will find most of the rumors are just rumors.

Good luck and best wishes

[Mississippienne]

Here on the Gulf Coast I see interracial couples all the time (mostly black men and white women but suddenly there's lots of white men and black women couples around, too). Never heard anyone say anything about it. I would advise against moving to a very rural/traditional community because it's hard to integrate anyway, and if you're in a mixed race marriage that'll make it all the harder. But in any town of reasonable size you shouldn't face any prejudice worse than what you'd face from yahoos anywhere in the USA.